Left Alone

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2. Letters

Winter came and the snow lay thick on the ground. Slowly life go back to normal and I worked at the factory as always. I felt emptiness, but at the same time, I knew that life was going on. My grandmother had it better on the other side and perhaps that she was talking to my grandpa now? I knew very little about my grandfather. He died before I was born and, according to mom, he was a wonderful man. He had loved grandma over it all, and he had worked hard to get the family to afford food and other things. I just remember they were talking about him on few occasions and it was always with a mysterious tone. Mom explained that grandma didn't want to talk more about it. She had taken grandpas death hard, and she then had to work hard so that my mom would have a good life.


We would empty my grandmas house. There were many things to pick up and some that would be discarded. I was seated with a bunch of old photographs. Mom just laughed at me and shook her head.
"I have no idea who they are, so why keep them?"
I smiled at her and chose to still looked at the people. It was old, worn photos of all sorts of people. I saw my grandfather, grandmother and their young friends. It was exciting and it felt like I went back in time. 


Eventually I ended up at an old photograph of a young man. He had dark hair, hat, and looked as if he lived in the eighteenth century. What attracted me what his whole personality and his eyes. They looked straight ahead and was so single-minded. He was pale, but he looked healthy. Mom noted my interest in the photo and smiled at me.
"Grandma said he was an important person in her life, but I don't know who he is!"
I swallowed and couldn't let the man go with my eyes. It was almost ridiculous because he was dead.
"I want to keep her photographs!" I got out of me and my mom looked directly at me in surprise.
"Okay, if you want but what you gonna do with them?"
I smiled at her.
"There are people who once lived and I think it's more dignified to keep it?"


When I got home that night, I put the box with the photographs on the table, but I held up the photo of the man. I couldn't put my finger on why and I realized that I behaved like a fool. Therefore I put the photo in the box again and walked over to the closet with it all. I opened the door and put it in. That's when I saw the grandmas coffin. The small coffin with a key lying on the lid. I smiled a little bit and was wondering if I should open it or not.


I filled a glass with wine and then sat down on the sofa. I opened the tiny coffin and actually it was like a treasure. I looked at the letters, wondering how I would go through them. I chose to read them from top to bottom.


"Loved Kath!" I smiled. My grandma was called Kath as young, though her name was Katrina. "I'm writing to you with reverence! My feelings for you, I can't delete and I understand that you chose to leave me. Yet I can't stop dreaming about our moments. I love you with all my heart and it's difficult for me to move on. Can't you think through your decision and come back. You don't need to change and become something you don't want to be. Just you come and stay at my side. I can't stand to live an empty life without you! Your Niall!"


I smiled, actually I smiled big. Grandma had a secret lover?


I read ten letters from Niall and all contained the same pray'r that she would choose him. It was as if he was a modern stalker and I wondered if grandma loved him back? In the eleventh letter I received an response to my question!


"Oh beloved Kath! Thank you! You answered my letter in the end. It means everything to me and I understand that you have a hard time. I don't want to get between you and your mom, but at some point you have to choose. I can give you so much more and you know what I mean, I can provide you with everlasting love., I can give you all my soul and all my heart. You mean everything to me and I want to feel your blood run through my veins."
I laughed! So it was that man described the love at that time?
"I promise to take you home, home to my castle, and I promise you will not have to miss anything. I love you with all my heart and I will forever be yours! Your loved Niall!"


It seemed that the grandma answered his letter. Niall changed the tone and he wrote answers to her questions. He described how he lived and to me it sounded like a fairy tale. A castle with servants and with green forests. Niall described a world that a time long ago was gone and I was almost in love with his words. He asked her again to come to him, but the Grandma didn't give up. Instead. He began to understand that she wouldn't be his and in the end he seemed to give up hope.


In the last letter he sounded like a broken man. He had been told about grandpa and Grandma chose him instead of Niall. I almost cried when he wrote a farewell letter to her. It sounded as if he was a broken man who didn't knew where he was going after this. I suffered with him!

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