Forgetting

A Hunger Games fanfiction in the point of view of Mrs. Everdeen as she comes to terms with her past and tries to move on.

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1. Chapter 1

My name is Nurse Everdeen. Nothing else. I have forgotten my first name as I never use it. I can't use it. I am too busy to use it. I don't know how old I am. I couldn't work out my age if I tried, as I would have to look back into my haunting past, which is too horrific to even consider.

I suppose you want to know more about me, but I can't really tell you now. Maybe I can later. Maybe, just maybe, I can come to terms with my emotions, my grief. But for now I am coping (just about) only through over exerting myself in my work. It is my only relief, helping the wounded, the sick, the dying. There is nothing left for me to love, so I try to love my patients and help and support them. Working 24/7 is the only way I can stop myself from remembering my haunting past. However, sometimes it doesn't help me; on occasion, I see the most horrific injuries that remind me of my daughters - it was just the other day that I saw a young girl with the most terrible burns, and that reminded me of what I try so desperately to forget: Prim, the human torch. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I have been told that I broke down completely, and had to lie down. I got straight back up again though, I know that for a fact; I can't dwell on things, I have to move on. So as soon as that picture of Prim, my Prim, entered my head, I had to remove it, so I went straight back to work, to concentrate on helping more people.

I like the stress and struggle of working in the hospital; it takes my mind of other things that I am not going to mention right now. I don't, however, like the look of joy on my patients' faces when I tell them that their beloved son has survived his operation, their precious mother is well again; I guess I don't mind that people are getting better because of me, it's just that I sometimes can't deal with seeing people so well, so happy. It reminds me of what could have happened if those bombs didn't... Stop it. I must think of my job. There are people to save.

No. I will not keep distracting myself. I must come to terms with her. Him. My life. I have to move on. I have to face my past...

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