I Love You, I Love You, I Love You

Living with OCD is difficult. But, if it's possible, what's harder than living with it is finding someone able to live with it with you.

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1. Numbers

I tap my fingers on the table. One two three, one two two three. But it's out of time. I tap it out again. One two three, one two two three. No, it's still not right. It doesn't matter, but I have to do it again. And again. And again. Until it's perfect.

One two three, one two two three. One two three, one two two three. One two three, one two two three. One two three, one two two three. Too fast. One two three, one two two three. Too slow. One two three, one two-

"Stop it."

I look up. He's been watching me.

"Hmm?"

"The tapping. Cut it out." He glares at my fingers. I'm itching to tap them again. As soon as he turns...

One two three, one two two three. One two three-

"Seriously, stop it. Now." I tap out the rest of the rhythm as quietly as I can.

One two two three.

He doesn't realise it annoys me more than him. He doesn't realise it controls every waking moment of my life, my dreams, and everything in between that. He doesn't realise that I have to finish this rhythm, perfectly, or... I don't know what. But I sure as hell don't want to find out.

One two three, one two two three.

 

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