The Azkaban Kid

Poppy Sarai Dustan is a well known and scary death eater. She has been caught because of Thorfinn Rowle left her. She couldn't apparate so she got caught. She meets friends and enemies, but what is below the mask of evil? BTW she is 11!

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12. Healing

"Sarai! Stay awake for me will you?" Remus asked me as he laid a hand on my shoulder. I winced and he removed it.

"I-it h-hurts." I feel my eyes closing. 

"No Sarai. Keep your eyes open." I wrench them open as best I can. It's Remus and Severus kneeling near me. I hear more voices, Headmaster Dumbledore, Kingsley Shackelbolt who I hadn't seen since I came here, McGonogal and a couple of others. I breath heavily and try to hide the pain. 

"We are going to put you on a stretcher Sarai. Ok?" Remus asked politely. 

"Yes." He smiles at me and then conjured a stretcher. Severus places his arms under my body and lifts me up. I cry again and yell in pain until I feel the sort of soft stretcher beneath me. 

"Th-that hurt a-a lot." I stuttered. 

"Well we need to help you Sarai." Severus drawled. 

"C-can't even be n-nice to me w-when I'm d-dying S-Snape?" He scowled at me with a bit of worry. 

"You are not dying Sarai. Don't say that." Remus interjected. 

"I-I am. Wh-why was I so s-stupid to f-foll-low that Ha-Harry boy." I tried to smile and Remus' face lit up. 

"Always the humour." 

"Yeh." I whisper as my eyes close again. "I-I'm s-sorry Remus. I-I c-can't h-hold on any l-l-longer." I can't see his reactions but I knew it was hurt, I could feel his anxiousness. 

"No Sarai. You will stay awake for a bit longer." He grabbed my hand and I used all my energy to squeeze his hand. 

"Your lucky Remus. You a-and S-Sirius are th-the only people i-i ta-alk nice to." 

"I know Sarai. We are gonna take you out of here now. Please hold on." His voice seems thick with emotion. 

"Listen to Lupin Sarai. He speaks wisely for once." Severus spoke, somewhat softly. 

"Yeh yeh." I lifted a hand. "W-Whatever y-you say S-Snape." Then my hand flopped back down. 

For a while I felt the stretcher moving as I flowed in and out of consciousness, fighting my body to stay awake. It felt like hours before I was laying upon a soft hospital bed. 

I lay still for a while. Listening to the frantic voices of the guards, Severus, Dumbledore and Pomfrey. 

"I-I'm d-dying over h-here." I struggle as my breathing becomes heavier and louder. 

"Don't speak Miss.Dustan. I need you to open your mouth." Pomfrey ordered. I obeyed by forcing myself to open up and a liquid was poured into my mouth which I swallowed and choked slightly. 

I felt the pain ebbing away and I was becoming relaxed. 

"Make sure to stay still. The pain might be gone but the wounds and broken bones are not healed". She moved away again as I breathed heavily still and opened my eyes as best I could.

I tried not to move but it was so boring! They didn't want me to sleep incase something bad happened, they didn't want me to move incase something bad happened, they didn't want me to speak incase something bad happened. What the hell should I do? Is there any point in breathing? 

Pomfrey came back and was waving her wand and chanting spells that I didn't and probably would never know. I could feel myself healing and I started to really relax. 

This wasn't so bad. After about 30 minutes, she was finally done. I felt as fit as a fiddle. But maybe a bit stiff. I had a sling on my arm but that was about it. 

"Wow." I muttered. "That was...good and...fast." I breathed out. 

"Yes that's all very well. Your healed but I still insist on some rest. At least a few more hours." Pomfrey ordered. I sighed. 

"I hate being...stuck in places like...this." I sulked. Remus came over from the heated conversation group. 

"Hey Sarai. Gave me quite the scare you did." He smiled. "Glad your ok now though. They are just giving some petrified people a potion to bring them back again." 

"And I care...because?" I sighed. 

"Sarai! I was just making conversation." He frowned slightly. 

"Sorry." I whispered. "Remus?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Don't think this is...stupid or anything. But...honestly, why do you like me?...why bother to...care for me? A low life...murderer." I hung my head and closed my eyes. Remus sighed and lifted my chin with his finger. 

"You are changing Sarai. You were not very nice when I met you. You liked Voldemort and all his stupid plans. A true death eater. I don't think you are feeling the same now though." He smirked. 

"Yeh...well...Erm..." I had had enough. I just needed to get my point across. "I don't want to be a death eater anymore!" I exclaimed. Remus' eyes widened and the group of people looked over at me. "Yes I said it! I've had...enough of being...a stupid murdering bitch! I'm a cow...I hate my life...the things I've done...and seen! I'm a sicko...and might as well...go back to Azkaban!" By the end of it I had tears in my eyes. Everyone was speechless. 

I wouldn't cry! I told myself this over and over. Them tears were not going to fall! I carried on speaking. 

"I was a push over! A silly...little girl. I let people hurt...me. I believed in promises...for a better life, but where did it land me? A one...way ticket to a crap life and time...in Azkaban before I was even 12YEARS OLD!" I yelled the last bit. The tears were streaming now. I couldn't stop them. I shakily got myself out of the bed and stood bold. 

"I don't deserve sympathy...and I don't deserve this chance. Just...take me away so I can...do my time and wallow...in my regret." Everyone was staring at me like I was crazy or something. Dumbledores eyes glittered blue, Remus was grinning like a mad man and the others were just dumbstruck. 

"Well Miss.Dustan." Kingsley cleared his throat. "That was a very, erm, strong show of emotion. You seem to have changed a lot." 

"No Mr.Shackelbolt, I haven't...changed. I have returned to...my old self...pretty much." My mind went far away when I said that. I thought back to all the times I was hurt at the orphanage, the abuse, my payback. I killed the woman who tortured me! I had many peoples blood on my hands. 

I felt dirty and I didn't want to feel like this anymore. I started to walk to the door but a hand clamped on my wrist. 

"Can't I have any...time alone?" I sighed. I think I was just totally giving up. 

"No you can not!" Scarface growled. I tried to pull my wrist away but it didn't work. 

"Please! Just let me go!" I cried. Yep, definitely turning into my old self. The people watched in bewilderment at my sudden change in personality. 

"Remus can you escort Sarai down to Severus' quarters please." Dumbledore pleasantly asked. Remus nodded and Scarface let me go. 

He walked over to me and opened the door. I walked through and he followed me. 

"Are you ok Sarai?" Remus asked. I just nodded and carried on walking. "I've never seen you like this. Your not the Sarai I know." 

"Exactly. I'm the old Sarai." I mumbled. "I'm Poppy." 

"So you don't want to be Sarai anymore?" 

"No. I don't want to be the killer. I really want to be the innocent and you...girl that I used to be." I virtually whispered. 

"You really have changed." Remus answered. "That's good though. Your right, it won't reverse what you have done, but at least you have come to terms with it." 

We got to the door and entered into the living area. I sat down on the couch and Remus followed me and sat down. 

"I'm Poppy. I didn't even have a choice to become a stupid death eater." I laid my head back and closed my eyes. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I ran away from the orphanage and came across a woman. She told me about her magic and...I thought everything was ok...I thought she was good like me. She told me about how good I...would be with her and...never ever show weakness." I sighed at the memory. "She gave me a wand...which I used until I went to Azkaban. I k-killed people!" I choked out. It seems that I couldn't even think of it anymore. I felt sick when I thought about it. 

"She told me a spell...and I used it. I shot it...right at the man and he just died like that." I clicked my fingers. "I didn't even know what the spell did. I was horrified...I cried and she hit me. I spent the next month being beaten...out of my weakness. She branded me...and I started working with Thorfinn Rowle. I liked...him. I actually thought he was nice...but I was so wrong. They would hurt me and curse me and make me kill. Eventually I became...some sort of machine for them. Their little...weapon. Do you know the horrible thing?" 

I opened my eyes and looked at Remus. 

"What Sarai?" He questioned. 

"I actually liked it!" I exclaimed. "They had...morphed my brain so much! I was just a sicko! No one had ever been nice to me. Even the death eaters...weren't nice. They didn't know the meaning...of nice and neither did I for a while." I stayed silent for a while and Remus did as well. 

Then he did something that had never happened to me, since I can remember. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. 

"You can't change the past Poppy." I smiled slightly at his use of name. "But you can damn well make your future worth while. Your not a death eater, your not a psycho, your a little girl. You were a murder and a death eater. But now you have changed and it's for the good." I felt my cheeks wet and realised I was crying. 

"At least someone understands. Your so much like Sirius, Remus." I whispered as I fell asleep.

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