Always and Never

Ariel Tanner believed that love was nothing but an illusion, a sick prank your brain pulls on you. But when she meets Harry Styles she begins to question everything she has put together about love. This frustrating boy was the only truly genuine person she'd ever met. How someone like him could even exist blew her mind. Harry, on the other hand, was amazed at how closed off Ariel acted. He made it his mission to knock down the walls she'd built around herself, because behind the flirting and the sarcasm, he got a glimpse of a girl that he wanted to become as close as humanly possible to. But did he really want to know everything behind those walls?

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62. Darcy Kaitlin Tanner

Ariel's Pov.

Jeremy and I became very close. He helped me out in the hard times. Which honestly happened for years. He would come over and hold me whenever I called him crying. When the loneliness hit me the hardest. When I broke down because Harry wasn't there.

He made sure I ate, and slept, and went to work, and did my school stuff. He was there to chastise me about the tattoo I got... I needed someway to release the pain inside me, so I got Harry's name tattooed in cursive along my hip. It was a weak moment, and the pain from the ink being permanently poked under my skin, was enjoyable in an odd way. Jeremy didn't approve, but then again, who would?

I was there at his wedding, where he married a very nice man named William. William also became a very close friend of mine. Jeremy and Kate were there at the birth of my daughter. He was there for every check-up, every ultra sound.

The birth was the hardest thing I've ever been through. I just kept thinking, Harry should be here. Harry should be here. But he wasn't. He had no idea that his daughter was being born, in that moment on June 18th, 2014.

She was born only a few days early, but there was something wrong with her heart. They couldn't give me pain killers, she could have died if they did. So, I screamed and cried and sweat through a natural birth. Kate held my right hand, and Jeremy held my left...

“You need to push!!” The doctor who was delivering my baby ordered.

“I can't!” I cried, it hurt so much. That much pain shouldn't be possible!

“Yes you can Ariel. You can do this.” Jeremy said calmly, staring me right in the eye, “Do it for Harry.” He whispered. I nodded, finding the strength for one last push. I screamed, pushing as hard as I could, and then the pain subsided.

There was a horrible wailing coming from the doctor's arms. Tears streamed down my cheeks as the smiling doctor handed me the messy, crying baby.

“My girl. My daughter.” I smiled, stroking her little arm with my thumb.

“Do you know what you're going to name her?” The doctor asked. Kate and Jeremy were smiling down at me. I'd given her name a lot of thought actually. Harry had named our fake child Darcy, when we dressed up and went house hunting. I decided to honor that. The middle name though, was my choice.

“Darcy. Darcy Kaitlin Tanner.” I smiled up at Kate, who had tears in her eyes.

“Y-you're naming her after me?” She stuttered. I nodded. We sat in silence for a while, other than the cries of little Darcy.

“I'm going to be a good mother.” I whispered suddenly.

“Why wouldn't you be??” Jeremy questioned. A nurse brought over a blanket to wrap Darcy in. A little pink one.

“I'm not going to be like my mother. I'm going to be understanding, and loving. I'm not going to force religion on her, I'm never going to tell her she's a bad person. And she's never going to turn out like me. I won't ever allow Darcy to turn out like I did.” I sobbed, my face buried in the blanket that wrapped around my tiny baby's body.

We cried together, mother and child. Jeremy and Kate soothed us. They attempted to assure me that it wouldn't be a bad thing for Darcy to turn out like me, but we all knew that was a load of bullshit...

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