Always and Never

Ariel Tanner believed that love was nothing but an illusion, a sick prank your brain pulls on you. But when she meets Harry Styles she begins to question everything she has put together about love. This frustrating boy was the only truly genuine person she'd ever met. How someone like him could even exist blew her mind. Harry, on the other hand, was amazed at how closed off Ariel acted. He made it his mission to knock down the walls she'd built around herself, because behind the flirting and the sarcasm, he got a glimpse of a girl that he wanted to become as close as humanly possible to. But did he really want to know everything behind those walls?


58. Airport

I kissed and touched Harry as much as possible. My flight was scheduled to leave the next day, so it was my last day with him... He suggested maybe going out, to lunch or shopping. I declined. I said I was tired and I really wanted to stay in. So we did. We watched movies, and played monopoly and everything was happy.

I didn't sleep that night. Not a wink. I concentrated on the feeling of his body touching mine, I watched his peaceful, sleeping face. He was quite beautiful when he slept, so innocent looking. So fragile...

I memorized how his hair fell over his forehead. I noted how his eyelashes brushed his rosy cheeks as he dreamed. This boy, is the dorkiest, most loving, talented, strangest boy I've ever met. And he was the best thing that ever happened to me... I couldn't have wished for anything better. I didn't deserve him.

I pretended to be asleep when he woke up, then faked waking up soon after he did. I plastered a smile on my face, and kissed him good morning.

“I have to leave pretty early for this interview today.” He sighed, pulling away from me. Desperate, I took his face in my hands, crushing my lips to his, maybe for the last time. I wouldn't let myself forget how his plump, soft lips felt against mine. Moving in unison. And I would remember the electricity forever. He seemed shocked at my action. I only sent him a shy smile once I let him go. Like there was no reason for my sudden kiss, only for the purpose of being closer to the beautiful boy.

No, I needed to stop calling him a boy. He was not a boy, he was a man. A man who saved me. The man, who saved me, from myself.

I got dressed while he showered, throwing my hair into a messy bun. I couldn't look like I was planning on going anywhere today. I wouldn't have time to shower. I just had to pack up, and get out. The pieces that were left of my heart ached. My head pounded.

I kissed Harry again before he left, we stood in the entry way. I realized with horror, that was the last time I'd ever see him. I almost threw up right then, my stomach churned and I even blacked out a little bit. Our kiss felt the same as it did on that magical night a little over a week ago. I couldn't have asked for a better good bye kiss.

“I love you.” I whispered on his lips, trying not to let my urgency shine through.

“I love you too babe. I'll only be gone for a few hours alright? When I come home we can make lunch, or go out, or whatever you want. Does that sound good?” He asked, looking a bit bewildered at what I was doing. I nodded through the pain.

“Yes, I'd like that.” I agreed. He smiled. I noted his dimples, a picture forever painted in my memory.

“Have fun.” I smiled back.

“I will.” He promised, and then he was gone.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes and spilling over my cheeks.

I cried into my suitcase as I packed. I packed only a select few things, mostly clothes that Harry had bought for me. A few that I owned before. One of his shirts... One that I wore quite often, I didn't think he'd miss it.

I wrapped my snow globe inside multiple dresses, kissing it before setting it delicately in the middle of my suit case. I ended up packing my One Direction CDs, though I doubted that I'd ever listen to them again. I wanted them just in case I ever needed to hear his voice again. I was done packing sooner than I'd imagined. Damn... I didn't want to be done.

I then took the ring that I'd bought for him out of my drawer. I considered leaving a note, but overruled it. How could I possibly put into words why I was leaving him? I didn't want him to know I was pregnant, so I'd have to lie. It would be wrong for the last thing I say to him to be a lie. I left the box sitting neatly on his pillow, where he would surely find it.

I really wanted to keep my ring, so if he decided he wanted his money back, he could sell the one that I bought. I stepped into each of the rooms before I left. First, the room where we painted each others clothes. That outfit was one that I packed, the jeans with the large hand print covering one of the back pockets.

Then the living room, where we'd shared our first kiss. Where we'd watched movies together and had a marshmallow gun war...

The kitchen, where we made cupcakes and cooked together almost every day. One of the downstairs bathrooms, where I'd gotten ready when I snuck to Kate's early in the morning, fearing that Harry was cheating on me.

And finally our bedroom. One last time, the room that we slept in every night. The room where I agreed to marry him, and where we'd made love for the first, and last, time. Where the child growing inside me was conceived- this thought came across with an undertone of bitterness.

I dragged my feet down the stairs, and to the front door. I allowed myself one last look back before I left. This was, and forever will be, my home. It was to bad I'd never be home again...

After a few minutes of just standing there I finally built up the strength to walk out the door, lock up the house, and get into my car. I had to meet the buyer in 20 minutes. I could make that easy.

I sat in the parking lot of the gas station that we'd agreed on over the phone and called a cab company to come pick me up. The man to buy my Volvo showed up at about the same time the cabbie did. A person who must have been his friend was driving the car he arrived in. He looked quite wealthy, judging by the way he dressed. Why he just wouldn't buy a new car I didn't know. But I also didn't care. He gave me the 7000 pounds in cash- I checked, it was real. And then left with the car. I set my suit case in the backseat of the cab before I got in.

“Where to kid?” The older gentleman asked then I got buckled in.

“The airport.” I answered, my voice shaking. Harry would be home in a half an hour... I wondered what he'd think? Just then my phone began to ring. It was him. I considered answering, but what if he'd come home early and found the house empty? What would I say then? I turned the ringer off, as the tears dripped down and blurred my screen. A picture of us together was his contact icon. It was one of my favorite pictures of us...

I sobbed as quietly as I could in the back seat of the cab. The cabbie asked me twice if I was okay. I simply nodded in response, unable to form words and force them through my lips. Harry left a voice mail, and I decided that I would listen to it later, maybe record it so that I could keep it. I was going to deactivate my phone and get a new one once I got to America. We arrived at the airport quickly, too quickly. I paid the man without a word, then made my way through the airport to my gate.

The ugliest sight I'd ever seen, was sitting against the wall by the security line. A slur of curses ran through my head as my phone began to buzz in my pocket. I wasn't cursing at my phone though. The boy's eyes twinkled with excitement. He was glad to see me. You could say I was less than happy to see him.

“Georgia, I haven't seen you in forever.” Brad grinned as he stood up to greet me. To my surprise, he didn't try to touch me. How the hell did he just happen to be at the airport?!

“First, you forgot the Rose, and second, let's keep it that way.” I mumbled, then tried to pass him. He stepped in front of me, not allowing me to move.

“I have to go you idiot!” I exclaimed in frustration.

“Come on! We can talk for a while, catch up a little bit.” He insisted, his anger seemed more under control than normal.

“So did you and curly break up?” He grinned wider.

“No.” I snapped, shoving my left hand in his face. I would not give him any satisfaction. He suddenly looked angry.

“Don't I get a goodbye kiss then?” He demanded, grabbing my wrist, the same one as last time. Before he could do anything else, my fist connected with his face, just like Harry showed me.

“Don't fucking touch me.” I snarled. I left him there, holding his face and cussing.

I made my way through security quickly, then settled at my gate. I had an hour to kill before my plane took off...

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