Always and Never

Ariel Tanner believed that love was nothing but an illusion, a sick prank your brain pulls on you. But when she meets Harry Styles she begins to question everything she has put together about love. This frustrating boy was the only truly genuine person she'd ever met. How someone like him could even exist blew her mind. Harry, on the other hand, was amazed at how closed off Ariel acted. He made it his mission to knock down the walls she'd built around herself, because behind the flirting and the sarcasm, he got a glimpse of a girl that he wanted to become as close as humanly possible to. But did he really want to know everything behind those walls?


5. Age 15

** Ariel Tanner Flashback ** A/N I'm not quite sure about this chapter... Could you guys comment and tell me what you think? I think it's important to the story, but I don't know... I'll add another chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading!! -Xx 

“Wait, Mike, I've never done something like this before...” I whispered, scared. Mike is 17, two years older than me. He was one of the hottest guys at my school. At the moment, I sat on the bed of our friend's guest bedroom. He was trying to convince me to 'sleep' with him. I had no idea what to do... It was okay to do this kind of thing at this point in the relationship though, right? We've been dating for three months, that's a long time...

“It's okay babe, I'll help out.” He smiled, encouragingly. I breathed out quickly as he began to kiss my neck. He loves me. He loves me. He wouldn't be doing this if he didn't love me. Though, he's never told me outloud, I just knew. Mike wouldn't ask me to do this if he didn't love me, but as sure as I thought I was, I had to ask...

“Do you love me?” I questioned softly.

“Of course I do.” He answered. I was satisfied with that answer, a small smile even appearing on my lips, so we continued. When it was over Mike lay on the bed, breathing heavy. He smelled like marijuana, not my favorite smell.

I felt disgusting. I wanted to throw up. Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks. I laid there for a few minutes, hating the feeling of the sheets on my naked body. So this is what I've become...

“I-I'm gonna go home. My mum gets home late and I've got a bottle of vodka waiting for me.” I lied, hiding my face as I began to get up. Mike reached out to touch me, I don't know where he was aiming because before he could get there I knocked his hand away.

“Please don't touch me.” I mumbled, throwing on my clothes as fast as I could.

“Even after what we just did? Come on baby.” He grinned, still in a playful mood.

“I have a name.” I snapped.

“Okay Ariel, jeez if I'd known you'd act like a bitch afterward-” He began, I interrupted him, furious.

“I. Feel. Disgusting.” I said through clenched teeth.

“Why? We had fun didn't we?? There's no need to be ashamed!” He insisted, standing up. I didn't let my eyes wander down his body, in fear that I may actually throw up if I did.

“No. We didn't. We didn't have fun.” I shook my head.

“Well, I did.” He moved closer, attempting to embrace me. I moved away, running into the dresser behind me. 

“I said don't touch me!” I exclaimed.

“Fine, slut. I lied, I don't love you. Getting into your pants was worth it.” He growled. Okay, that hurt. That hurt a lot.

“I am not a slut.” I whimpered, sounding helpless.

“You're 15, and you just had sex. You are a slut. And a bitch.” He accented every hurtful word.

“You're a dick! You just took advantage of me by saying you loved me. You're 2 years older!!” I screamed, there soon came a knock at the door. I watched Mike's eyes grow angry. He looked like he wanted to slap me. Go ahead, it wouldn't hurt as bad as the words.

“Are you guys okay? Ariel? Mike?” Janis' worried voice came quietly from behind the door. This was her house.

“You agreed. It takes two.” Mike snapped.

“I agreed because I thought you loved me. You. Fucking. Lied.” I snarled. I turned to the door, throwing it open. I took the empty photo frame that lay on a shelf beside the door and hurled it at Mike. I heard a crash, muffled by curse words when it hit him.

I walked home. In my room, I finished what was left of my homework... After that, I had nothing to distract myself with, so I sat on my bed, and cried. My eyes squeezed shut, bathing in self hatred.

“I'm sorry daddy. Daddy I didn't know. I made a mistake. I hope you still love me. Please don't be disappointed. Oh god what if mum finds out. She'll disown me! Well, if she hasn't already... But she could kick me out of the house! I have no where to go! I'm sorry I let you down daddy. I'm so, so, so sorry.” I whimpered into my pillow. I am a gross human being. My mother hates me, I really hope my father doesn't. Mike was right. I am a whore...

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