the story of my life //PERMANENT HIATUS//

"Just stop pretending already."
"That you care, that you even like me the slightest bit. You don't have to protect me from them I'm fine. This. Is. Nothing."
Shut everyone out. That is the best way to keep away pain, right? Or did it just bring more?
|| Copyright © 2014 by Amy S. All Rights Reserved ||


6. Chapter Five - Change (pt. 2)

- Roxlion -

I pick at my lunch and sigh deeply. A wad of paper is thrown at me. My head turns to see who threw it. I pick it up and uncrumple it. 

Listen, whore. If you think you can fit in or even become invisible, you can't. Understand that your ugly ass complexion doesn't scare us at all. Do us a favor. Kill yourself.

I blink tears away. I get up and walk to the bathroom. Once I'm in a bathroom I lock the door and I read the note over and over again. A drop falls on the paper and I realize I'm crying.

Once I stop, I look at myself in the mirror. I had eyeliner and mascara all over my face. I wipe it off and pull my hood up so no one can see my face. I walk out of the bathroom and walk into my room. I pull out my iPod and go on spotify. I put on Panic! At The Disco. My favorite song comes on. I sing along to it quietly. 

This is gospel

For the fallen one's

Locked away in permanent slumber.

Assembling their philosophies,

From pieces of broken memories.

Oh oh oh oh ooh (x2)

From gnashing teeth

And criminal tongue

Conspire against the odds

But they haven't seen the best of us yet

If you love me let me go

If you love me let me go

Cause these words are knives

And often leave scars

The fear of falling apart

Truth be told, I never was yours

the fear, the fear, of falling apart.

This is gospel, for the vagabonds

Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards

Confessing their apostasies 

Led away by imperfect impostors

Oh oh oh oh ooh (x2)

Don't try to sleep through the end of the world,

Don't blurry me alive.

Cause I won't give up without a fight.

If you love me let me go

If you love me let me go

Cause these words are knives

And often leave scars

The fear of falling apart

Truth be told, I never was yours

the fear, the fear, of falling apart.

The fear of falling apart.

The fear, the fear, of falling apart.

The fear of falling apart (x4)."

I hear the door open. I turn to see a boy in my doorway.

“You aren't a bad singer," says the black haired boy.

I keep on shooting daggers at him with my eyes, not saying anything.

“What did I do wrong?" He asks, putting his hands up in defeat.

I huff and turn my back to him. I hear more footsteps, three pairs maybe. The bed sinks down next to me. 

“Look, love-" I cut him off.

“Don't call me that."

“Okay. Well, we need to adopt a kid. Know any kids worth our time?" 

“So you just came for my advice? Well, ill tell you now every freaking girl in this hellhole is a bitch. Don't waste your time." I roll my eyes and get up, showing that this conversation is over. 

I guess they don't catch the hint, someone follows behind me.

“You don't understand," a deeper, raspy, voice begs, “our jobs depend on this."

“What kind of job is that?" I ask, turning around to face him.

I look up at the tall boy and stare in his emerald eyes.

“You really don't know who we are?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

“am I supposed to?" I ask, sassily.

Another, shorter boy pushes the tall boy back and says, “Dont worry, Hazza, I got this. I still am fluent in sass."

“Well, congrats for you. You are so smart to know how to sass people," I tell him, sarcastically.

“We are One Direction, girlie. Yes you should know who we are." 

“Oh great, it's the Backstreet Boys." I roll my eyes.

A girl passes by my room and her jaw almost drops to the floor. She grabs me and pulls me to the hallway. 

“Listen here, bitch. You need to stop talking to my boys. A slut like you doesn't even deserve to be in their presence." She whispers, angrily.

And with that, I slapped her. 

She gasps and knees me in the stomach. Other girls start to join in. I end up on the floor with them kicking me.

Someone barges out and pulls them off me. I look up to see emerald eyes reaching his hand out to help me up. “You okay?" He asks.

“Stop. Just stop."

“Stop what, love?"

“Pretending," I say simply.


“That you care, I know you don't give a damn about what happens to me."

“You really need to open up to people sometimes. Not everyone wants to hurt you."

“But everyone does anyways." 


“Roxlion, can you please come up to the interview room? Someone is interested in you." Someone whispers in the doorway, awakening me from my nap.

I nod and fix my hair quickly. I walk down to the front and into a small room with a seat for me and a small couch for the guests. 

I see come in no other than One Direction. 

“Before you say anything, let's start over. Pretend that the room thing never happened."

I nod.

They all sit down. I smile at the blonde boy who is laying across the four other boys casually. 

“Hey, I'm Harry" Emerald eyes says.

“I'm Louis," sassy boy says.

“Zayn" black haired boy says.


The boy laying across everyone says, “Horan. Niall Horan."

I shake my head and smile at him. 

That's a change. I'm smiling.


YAY LONG CHAPTER!!!! Ill leave the song at the end of the chapter.










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