Just another fan (TH)

Just Another Fan is just another Tokio Hotel fanfic :D

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3. My scars

I had never thought of actually entering Deutschland Sucht Den Superstar before. I always just assumed my dad was joking, but after Lily told me to, I couldn't get the idea out of my head. I began to practice a lot. I wanted to sing a Tokio Hotel song, but I wasn't sure which one. My dad loved Tokio Hotel too, and I felt like it would make him happy if I sang one of their songs. I practiced songs in both English and German, but I decided to go for an English song, because I was half English, and I wanted to show the judges that I was good at English too. I wanted to sing either On The Edge or Zoom Into Me. 

When I was about 10 years old I sat at home with my dad and listened to the radio. My mom was pregnant, and she was in the hospital. Suddenly this song came on, and I caught some of the lyrics quite quick. Then my dad was like "that's such a good song, we have to find out what it's called", so we began to search for at. It wasn't hard to find, because it was quite popular in my town. Durch Den Monsun was the name of the song. The band who made it was called Tokio Hotel, and they were this German rock band. I had never heard of them before, but I liked them a lot. And so did my dad. We always wanted to go to a concert with them, but we never actually went. My dad became sick a year after, so we never got the chance.

I was very nervous about going to DSDS. I wasn't quite sure which song to sing. Although it was good to have two, and then let the judges choose which one I should sing. Zoom Into Me was one of my favorite songs. My dad used to make me sing it for him. He had been sick since I was 11 years old. My sister didn't even remember him from before he was sick. She was 1 when he got cancer.
When he first got sick I was very sad. I remember I used to just sit alone in a corner in school. That was when I began to loose my friends. They wanted to be there for me, but nobody knew what to do. And I didn't blame them, they were 11 years old. Tokio Hotel made me stay.

I was suicidal a couple of times, but my dad always told me to stay strong. And so did Tokio Hotel. I started to cut when I was 12. I was so addicted, I wasn't able to stop. I felt like it was my fault that he was sick. My dad was the only on who noticed my scars. He told me that it wasn't my fault, and that I had to stop, but I couldn't. Not even for him. Not even for Tokio Hotel.

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