Just another fan (TH)

Just Another Fan is just another Tokio Hotel fanfic :D


12. Foster family?

When I came home Lily was very happy that I went through, but she didn't seem completely happy. When I asked her what was wrong she just told me it was about dad, but I knew that it wasn't. I could feel it. This was not about dad, this was about something else, but I had no idea what it was.

The time went by really quick. Like between audition and recall I spent all my time singing and working. But this time was a bit different. This time I was way more nervous, and I had to calm myself down once in a while. I didn't like the thought of leaving Lily behind when mom wasn't here. Not that it made much of a difference, but I felt more save with her here. 
"Lily, are you sure you'll be okay? Can't you live at someone's place again? Or should I just stay home? What do you want to do", I asked, but she never gave me a real answer.
"It doesn't matter", she said.
But it did matter. I had to know what was wrong, I could never just leave her without knowing anything. 
"Lily you gotta tell me what really wrong", I said, but she just went to her room and cried.
I walked slowly into her room, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Why do you cut on yourself? You know it's not your fault that dad died, and you've never done anything wrong. You're beautiful, you're inspiring, and you're my idol, but I don't get it. How can you take a knife and press it down on your skin almost until you see the bone. You're too good for this, and you know it. Please stop", Lily said, and continued crying.
I was paralysed. I had no idea what to say. I thought she was too young to understand, but apparently she got everything. All these questions started filling my head, but nothing came out of my mouth. 
After a minute I stood up and walked out of Lily's room and into mine. I had done everything wrong. Somehow I managed to ruin Lily's life even more. I felt the need to cut, but Lily's words made me think. I wanted her to live a happy life, and apparently I made her unhappy. Maybe I should let her go. Maybe she needed a foster family right now, and not me. It would be easier with the whole DSDS thing too. And I would still see her. I stood up, and went back into her room.

"Lily? Do you want to go to a foster family? You would get taken care of, and you would never be alone. You would get another mom, a dad and maybe a new sister. You could live a perfectly normal life, with a perfectly normal family. Is that what you want", I asked.
Lily looked at me like I was crazy.
"But then I wouldn't see you anymore", she exclaimed.
"You would still see me, and I could come visit you very often, but you would have a family. I think it's what you need", I said.
"Anna I don't want to go", she said.
"I think you have to", I said.
"Annabelle, please don't make me go. I beg you, please", she said and began to cry.
I hugged her and stroke her back.
"Honey I think this is the best thing to do for both of us. I'm not the right idol to have and you know that. Mom can't take care of you, and I'm going away to Caribbean tomorrow, and I cannot let you stay here alone", I said.
"Anna I want to stay here with you. Please", she begged.
"Or maybe we could both get the same foster family. I think we can. I can go talk to mom, we need this Lily", I said.
"Okay, but only if we get the same", she said.
"Sure", I said and walked away.

Lying to her made me really sad. If only she knew that we couldn't get the same foster family, and that I might never see her again.

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