Trust Me

When you don't know who you are you have to trust me...
*a short one-shot about how the Doctor's Doppelganger was feeling when it was created*

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1. Trust Me

I have no idea who I am? It's like a thousand millions bursts of memories exploding my brain and shooting out other little details that I've never noticed before. My head feels like it is splitting open and all my thoughts and future and past and present are pouring out onto the floor. I am the Doctor...NO! I don't even know where I am? My eyes search my surroundings screaming WHY? WHY? WHY? And all I can say is: trust me, but even I cannot do that for myself.

My hands claw at my head as I begin to see everything. Me in a lapel and with my grand-daughter...the Doctor's grand-daughter...I am the DOCTOR! Why? Why? Why? Want a jelly-baby? I sink to my knees from the pain. I don't know who I am. I'm the Doctor. I'm not. Yes I am! I'M NOT! I AM!!!! I let out a scream. Why? WHY? And then I make out a girl in an orange jumpsuit with black hair. She's human. She has breath and life. Like me. No!

“Trust me. Trust me.” Why? Why? Why?

The girl screams. And it's filled with the same fear and anguish as mine was. Why doesn't she trust me? Why? She runs away. I sink back onto my knees for fear of losing my balance. Rory and Amy. Rose. So many more. And Clara. I have no idea who this Clara is yet. But I will because I'm the Doctor. No. No. No. Why? “Trust me,” I sob. Trust me.

And when I see his face I see me. I see a Time-Lord with a bow-tie because bow-ties are cool. No they are not! I cannot say that! Yes I can. I'm the Doctor. NO! YES!!! I see his face and his two-beating hearts and I see the loneliness. Like me. Then the pain's gone.

I brush myself off and wander into the light. They all stare at me. Why? I shake away the thought. I know who I am. Not the Flesh. I'm a living being. I have feelings and I can breathe. “Hello,” I say. “I'm the Doctor.”

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