Falling Walls [Shingeki no Kyojin]

Yoko Shizuka was born into the life of confinement. A life, subject to simplicity and death. An on going cycle of hiding inside the walls away from the Titans. Humanity entrusts its survival into the Scouting Legion of which Yoko has become a registered member of. How will she cope when her beloved friends and childhood sweetheart arise to the Legion and change all that was...?

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4. ~Learning Place

Laughing and pushing with my old time friends has brought out the best in me. The heavy weight of protecting humanity's last reserves of the world and the walls slacked and happiness seeped through. Even if it was only hiding the pain and seriousness of the life I now lead, it was more than I had bargained for.

"Yoko! Yoko! Tell that one about the Titan again!" Armin spat out his drink giggling as he pushed me. I rolled my eyes as I sat with my legs crossed on the table I had become welcomed to. 

"No, no I can't!" I stifled my laughter behind the wide grin that was peering through my lips. I hit the table in an attempt to release some of the stress being put on my giggling body. 

"Spoil sport!" Eren mocked me, clutching me in a headlock and ruffling the roots of my hair. I pushed him away and leaned on his shoulder as my laughs became happy sighs. Jean snorted on his soup that he had been rationed for the evening and I raised my eyebrow confused. He pointed, shaking from the laughs that racked through his body. He began to look away but not before I could see the tears welling in his squinting eyes. All members of the table had their eyes locked on me. The eyes travelled from my face and then rose to my hair. A second of silence was held between us all and the usual calm of the dinning hall resumed. Yet soon enough this was shattered. Every pair of eyes widened and loud, uncontrollable amounts of laughter erupted from the table, tearing through the silence. I stiffened and sat up straight as Eren's shoulder became painful from the jitters. I tried desperately to tame my wild hair when the solemn face of my Captain appeared out of the corner of my eye. 

"Shizuka." He stated, his face cold and immediately shut out any emotion. 

"Hai!" I recalled, forgetting about my messy hair and saluted as best I could in my knotted position. My fellow members of the rowdy table tried their hardest to muffle the noise that escaped their lips. 

"Come." Levi's voice held an utmost authority, causing his right hand solider to follow obediently. Though sometimes I felt like a dog snapping at his ankles. 

"Have, f-fun, Yoko!" Another outburst of laughter left in my wake. Even sour Mikasa was grinning. I groaned, aware that Captain Levi believed this to be my doing. 

But then, Levi blamed me for everything.



He latched onto my thin wrist and pulled me along with a harsh grip. His bone cold fingers wrapped tighter over my skin and I shivered in response to his touch. I began jogging in order to keep up with the many short steps the Captain was taking. 

"Captain." I muttered, trying to catch his attention. His eyes remained forward and ignored me blatantly. 

"Captain..." I held onto the syllables at the end in order to drag out his title, but still no response came from the stubborn man. 

"Levi!" Suddenly turning on his heels to face me, Levi's heartless expression held only boredom towards me. My arm raised up in order to prevent me from slamming into him, his hand only squeezed around my thin wrist. I yelped in slight pain and begun yanking to free myself. 

"What do you want?" I stared wide eyed up at the angry man before me. I composed myself, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. "What bullshit are you pulling?" He pushed, pressing his fingers into the crevasses of my bones in my wrist. I gulped loudly and bit on my lip, my eyebrows furrowing at him. 

"No, Captain, what is it that you want? Why did you drag me out here?!" I emphasized on the you and faced him with my chin held higher than usual. His face hardened further and he pulled my wrist down to our sides. 

"Whom was it,Yoko, who took your pointless life into their hands? What man on this Earth gave note to you and accepted you among the talented arms of the most respected Legion in all of the Walls? What human was it that took in that little girl and gave her the most wanted spot by his side?" Levi's tone raised higher with every question, the intent of his words to wash guilt over my body. He was soon shouting to the last word. "Who was that?" He pulled up the arm he still had tight hold of and shook it violently before my face. I simply stood with watering eyes, not allowing them to fall. The tears blurred my vision but I could see the man I respected so much stood before me. Ashamed of me. 

"It was you... Captain Levi, sir." I bowed my head in respect. Levi's body relaxed as I displayed no anger towards him. His fists balled slightly and pressure was pushed on the veins in my right wrist which he still held. The last of my ebony hair fell around my face to hide me away from the burning of his eyes. Cold, dead pupils that bore into the back of my neck. 

"Look at me, child." He referred to the childish torment he would label me to all those years back. I slowly began to straighten, but my face remained subdued from his gaze. Deep ebony held the shadows over my face. His hand snapped to my face, colliding with my cheek. My face snapped to the right with the force of the hit. I could already feel my left cheek reddening. The burn of the punishment boiled under my skin and allowed a saved tear to leak over the warm cheek. I continued to look in the direction my face was turned. When I was sure the tear had dropped from the edge of my chin, I slowly faced my Captain again. His face held slight resentment, deep within the eyes. I dared to stare into them, fearful of a harsher beating that did not come. Levi raised the clutched wrist to my view, causing my eyes to skit over to my bruising wrist. I regained eye contact with the man I cherished before me. "No right hand of mine would have me teach her this way." I nodded in response and wiped another tear from my face abruptly, ashamed for the tears that fell. 

"Understood sir. It won't happen again." I bowed my head once again as Levi released my wrist with a heavy sigh. 

"Why didn't you fight me." It wasn't a question. But that was how he worked. What was, wasn't. What wasn't, was. I answered for the sake of respect. 

"For you are my Captain, sir. I am in no place to disrespect.. your.. views.." I slowly lost strength by the end of my words. I trailed off, lacking the restrain. 

"You confuse me, you brat." In an instant Levi's hand was placed at the back of my head and pulled my head to his chest. I held dearly to the aching wrist I had earned and placed them gently against his cold torso. We stood silently.

No talking.

Nothing, but the beat of my rushing heart between us. 



*******



I returned to my dorm room. That's what I wished it to be. Sometimes I thought of old times when I would joke with my friends... With Eren and Mikasa... And Armin... And everyone... Of how I would one day be at the side of kings, my intellect, my life being the very turning point of humanity's solution. 

Essentially... I have got what I always wanted. 

I stared with a heavy emptiness weighing at my heart, out to the world. The coming evening full of nature's creatures. The setting of the godlike sun was something I rarely enjoyed to witness. Yet now, as I held my pained wrist and cupped cold fingers to sooth the pain of my sore cheek, I found it most satisfying. 

I allowed the tears to tip over the edges of my eyes now. Now that I was alone. The salty warmth of the clear liquid has been a release I haven't turned to in a while now. 
I had become such a hard outer shell. I had become a copy of my Captain, I had absorbed myself completely into the role of being his most trusted member, the one he could rely on most, that I had lost myself. 

"His word is final Shizuka." I spat at myself. Raising to my feet I hung out of the window slightly. The breath before me became but mere icy smoke at my lips. I embraced the cold refreshing pinch of the night. Wind whipped through my locks as they hung far over the side, flying with the gusts that ripped over my exposed body. I peered through my wind swept strands of hair to the courtyard, where the horses were whinnying within the presence of another mammal. A human of course, by the way the manly shadow lit the candles within the lanterns around the stables. I knew exactly who he was. I could distinguish the man anywhere. My frozen fingers curled around the edge of the sill and resented this sudden spite that had risen in my throat. 

I hold only respect for this man.

Pushing away from the ledge, I pulled on the green coat over my half dressed body and ran silently through the halls. I rounded the corner to the stairs and slid effortlessly down the banister.

I'll make you proud of me again.


I continued running, my breath hitching slightly as I pushed onward, not allowing weakness to consume me. Clutching at what air I could hold onto I sped onward to the courtyard. I sent my shoulder into the wood of the doors and used what energy I had to burst on through. My eyes searched the stables desperately.

Don't make yourself a disappointment 


Deep emerald orbs locked on the figure hidden among the shadows with his trusty steed. I took my opportunity, ignoring my unco-ordinated stumble and crossing the distance between us. The horses whinnied with complaint as I came to my knees in front of the man. 

"Please sir, let me accompany you!" I shouted the words, though my breathing took away any sense of strength in my voice. Levi hesitated and gave me the usual blank stare, continuing to saddle up his horse. 

"No." He spat not even gracing me with his eyes. I hung my head and pulled my fist over my chest in the official position. 

"Let me prove my worth as your right hand soldier sir! Let me earn my place again, Captain!" My eyes searched for his cold gaze in the darkness. Levi reached over for a lantern and held it by his face, watching me light up before him on the floor. He let out an irritated sigh and once again turned back to his horse. 

"Tss. You always were the stubborn one." He said nonchalantly. His hand shot down to me on the ground and I gladly took it in order to come back to my feet. I brushed off the dirt from my knees and waited his final command. My lips parted in an attempt to gain my air into my starved lungs and perhaps win over the argument. I knew before hand that Levi's views didn't judge on the appearance par say of an individual, and that my looks weren't of any standard to that of which my Captain would desire. Yet I still used whatever I may as to earn my trust with him once more. 

"Saddle up, Shizuka." He said softly into the coming night air. A smile broke over my lips as the tension fell from my shoulders. I quickly sort about saddling up my own horse and patted the mare's face  as she nuzzled my shoulder with her soft lips. 

"Let's go for a ride." I murmured to the horse, gently tugging on her reins to bring my animal and myself to Levi's presence. He had already mounted up and was waiting patiently for my arrival. He could have easily lied to me and in my absence took off without me, but the very fact he had waited upon me lightened the guilt in my heart. I swung my legs and body on to the back of my chestnut stallion, whipping the reins and causing the horse to spark into action, trotting over the cobbles to mirror the other horse in the yard. The sweet sound of horse shoe on stone rung through my ears as the Captain mimicked me also and forced the horse to speed onward. 

"We'll head out into the open, be aware of your surroundings as always Shizuka." He had returned to calling me by my last name. At least I wasn't an 'it' to him.

"Hai." I replied, aware of my lack of 3DMG. Levi took a look over at me and spat a curse into the cold air that engulfed our bodies. He tapped his own Maneuver Gear at his hips and gave me a cold stare. 

"Baka." He mouthed as I rolled my eyes. 

"You knew this from the start sir." I said over the thump of eight feet on the sodden ground, our horses entering the tall forests that surrounded the hidden HQ. Perhaps it was the glare of the moon, or just my imagination, but I was sure to have seen the Captian's lips twitch slightly. Was he smiling?

I shrugged it off and focused on following his horse as we edged deeper and deeper into the wilderness. 

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