“I’m sorry, but I never actually believed in love”

Our Insecurities get the best of us.
Our fears limit us.
Our obsessions Outcast us.


11. Ten




The week passed with Roxy and I pretending the other doesn’t exist, today Jordan’s parents were out of town and he was throwing a party, Matt says it’s the biggest party of the year. But I was only going because Roxy was going to be there and I wanted to show her what she was missing. I needed to make a statement today. Yeah you do, we have to make that ugly face sexy.

I bought a red bandage dress with a sweetheart cut, and black twelve inch heels. I got home and shaved my legs, I wasn’t sure how the hell I was going to cover my scars. Foundation and wax. I went with that, only a few scars showed, and if anybody asked I could lie. Yeah, you need to look sexy and fuck. I curled my hair, big curls and it reached my waist. I went with a cat eye and big dark red lips. I put the dress on, it reached above my mid thigh, and it made my boobs look a whole lot bigger than they actually were. I put on a coat that reached my knees and it had fake fur on. Matt and Jane were going to pick me up. I sat downstairs and waited with Jared, we were watching the vampire diaries, then I heard honking outside, I kissed Jared’s baled head and walked outside. I hopped into the backseat of his car.

“I did not expect you to be this done up,” laughed Jane, I laughed along.

“Oh I just threw this thing on,” I laugh and this time Matt laughs along with up.

“This is going to be the biggest party ever!” Says Matt and we start cheering.

When we got there, the house was lit to the maximum, and loads of cars were parked everywhere, the music was loud but it was good, I could feel my heart beat with the base. We walked in and it smelt like alcohol and ecstasy.

“Give me your coats!” Matt yelled over the music. It’s time to shine.

I took off my coat and I automatically felt exposed. Jane was nowhere to be seen and Matt looked at me like I was naked. His eyes looked like they might pop out of their sockets. His cheeks got really red and he kept looking at me, I was blushing like crazy. He was still looking at me. This felt awkward. You like it. I don’t, it feels wrong. I force myself to walk away and into the party, people were dancing like monkeys. I saw Jane and Spencer, but where’s Roxy? I turned around and found her on the foot of the stairs. She was wearing a black dress. That’s hot. She looks at me from head to two, then she nods upstairs, obviously asking me to follow her. Don’t. But I did. 

I walked upstairs, it was empty, but I could hear moaning in one of the bedrooms. I walked, where did she disappear?

“Roxy?” I call.

“In here,” and I follow her voice.

“What?” I ask and lean on the border of the door.

“Maybe if you could stop being so sexy it would be easier to pretend you weren’t alive.” She says and takes a step towards me.

“I’m sure Spencer is enough for you, she is, as you said, your type.” I say.

“Spencer is my type! But God damn it I want you!” she says and sighs, falling on the bed.

“What? But you’ve been ignoring the hell out of me,” I exclaim.

“It isn’t like that; I don’t want you to reject me, because you’re obviously not like me. You don’t want me that way, and I can start to explain how much I loved that kiss, but it wouldn’t help. I want you Iris, I don’t know what to do.” I was filled with glee, joy. I could kiss her right now. I could.

“I want you Roxy, in every way.” I say and walk towards her.


“Yes really, I wouldn’t lie about this.” I sit down next to her. She holds my hands and I look at them.

“Look at me, I like looking into your blue eyes,” she said and I look up. I smile, she smiles.  I pull her in for a kiss, a peck. It was sweet and tender, filled with emotions. She liked me back, I could be the happiest girl alive.


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