“I’m sorry, but I never actually believed in love”

Our Insecurities get the best of us.
Our fears limit us.
Our obsessions Outcast us.


8. Seven




I went to school the next day, but Roxy told me not to pick her up this time. I walked into the hallway and a wave of horror knocked me down, I push a strand of hair behind my ear and looked at my shoes. I could hear giggles, or maybe I’m being paranoid. No, they’re laughing at you, want to know why?  No, I don’t. Half of them is because your mother is a porn star and the other half is laughing because you are a freak.

I quicken my pace and bump into someone. Oh crap. I look up to see none other than Terrance. Terrance the ex, Terrance the guy that gave me his all and I just, broke his heart. Basically yeah.

“Iris,” he says smiling from the corner of his mouth.

“Terrance.” I croak.

“c-can we talk?” he asks and points at the field.

“Yeah, sure,” I say and walk behind him onto the field. We sit in our usual stop, and I look over to the benches and I saw Mat. Mat, Mary, Spencer, Jordan and Roxy. Roxy. I couldn’t help but stare.

“I want us to get back together.” He states.

“What?” I say and rip my eyes off of Roxy.

“I want us to get back together.”

“Terrance” I sigh, “you’re a great guy, just not for me. It’s nothing you’ve done, it’s just me. There are loads of other girls who would want you, but let’s just- let’s just be friends.” I say and look into his deep brown eyes.

“Yeah, let’s be friends.” He sighs and turns his face. I stand up.

“wait.” He says and I look down on him.

“What?” I ask.

“Friends hug right?” he says standing up and opening his arms.

“yeah.” I smile being a big hugger.

His strong arms wrap around my shoulders, mine wrap around his waist. He smelt the same, the hug though didn’t feel the same. I felt his breath brush my ear and he sighs, sending shivers down my back. I used to feel safe in his arms, I felt special, now I feel nothing. Nothing. You are an idiot! Girls would kill for him. oh my god, just kill yourself!

“Well I have class, so I’ll see you later.” He says pulling out of the hug.

I just nod.

After he left I sighed and walked towards my group. I felt so bad for Terrance, So upset with Roxy, and absolutely furious with myself. Why? Because you’re a fuck up idiot. Yeah. That’s it. You need to look confident. How? Smile, straighten your back, raise your head and strut. And I did.

“Hey guys!” I say in a cheery voice.

“Hey pupil.” Says  Matt hugging me tight.

“Ha ha very funny.” I say and hug Jane. I heard giggle but mostly Roxy’s giggle which made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I looked over to hug Spencer and most importantly, Roxy. However, they just stand up and walk away, and I’m left there, looking like a hurt idiot. Could you blame me? Yes, don’t care she’s a bitch. I shake it off and hug Jordan. Two can play it that way.

The day passed on, I was so caught up in my own brain to notice the clock ticking. I skipped three classes to avoid Roxy, and only noticed that school finished when Mat offered to walk me to the door.  We walked in silence, his car was on the other side of school so he just walked me to the school’s main gate. Then I walked alone, as I was walking I heard someone yell for me. Roxy. Do what you have to, to piss her off.

Wait up!” she says and I simply turn around.


“Can you drive me home?” she asks now close to me.

“Why don’t you ask Spencer?” I say and walk away.

“What the hell? You know you’re not my only friend! I’m allowed to make friends!” she yelled behind me.

“Yeah, enjoy Spencer today, give her the heads up that you’ll ignore her tomorrow and make a new “friend,” or would you like me to tell her?” I shake my head and unlocked my door.

“Iris, wait.” She said sounding upset.

“No, just don’t freaking bother.” I say and close the door behind me, and drive away. Roxy was standing there, looking at me like I stabbed her in the guts. She deserves it.

I drove to a pizza place and picked up three large pizza pies. Then I drove home, my mom was sitting on the kitchen counter making some calls, and Jared was next to her, as soon as she spotted me she pointed to me and told me to sit. I put the pizza pies on the table and sit down and look at Jared, he looked tired. I asked him with my eyes what was going on, he just shrugged. Then mom hung up and sighed.

“This family is falling apart,” she says, I chuckle.

“Well, if you’re pointing fingers, you’re pointing in the wrong direction.” I say and stand up.

“You, sit down. I’m not done taking.” She says and her eye starts twitching.

“Of course you’re not.” I say and sit down.

“Watch your attitude-“

“Can you guys just stop!” yells Jared. His eye twitches too, he gets it from mom.

“sorry baby.” Mom says and holds his hand.

“Sorry Jare.” I say and sit down.

“All I wanted to say was I quit my job and I got a new one. A decent one before you ask Iris, it’s time we start acting like a family. When was the last time we sat like this? Christmas? Thanksgiving? We’re going to start this by eating dinner together.” She says, and something flickers in my heart. Hope. Don’t hope, she probably got a new boyfriend or something.

“What are you working now mom?” asks Jared.

“Your dad hired me as his assistant.” And that’s all that took for me to bolt out of my house.



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