“I’m sorry, but I never actually believed in love”

Our Insecurities get the best of us.
Our fears limit us.
Our obsessions Outcast us.


5. Four



I spent the day silent and in awe of how the day passed without one suicidal thought, it’s a miracle! No you’re just stupid. However, it did surprise me that Roxy was still hanging out with me, I thought she’d have made better friends by now, she might be as stupid as you are. Now we sit in front of the school on the brick fence, waiting for Roxy’s dad to pick her up. We did however, on Roxy’s request, ditch the last period. I was okay without because I ditch classes regularly. You Reckless, ungrateful bitch.

“Augh, I hate school!” says Roxy fiddling with something in her bag.

“Don’t we all?” I mumble and look at the schools doors.

“Do you have a lighter?” she asks frustrated. I didn’t see that coming.

“Why are you going to burn the school down?” I joke and mentally stab myself continuously. Please, don’t ever say that ever again. “and yes.”

“No,” she laughs. “ I can’t find mine and I need to light a cigarette.”

“You smoke?” I asked not quite shocked, I could tell she was a smoker, it looked like it was her thing.

“No, I just light cigarettes at random.” She says pushing the cigarette between her perfect parted lips.  Snap out of it Iris. I shake my head and pull my bag opened and pulled my lighter out.

“Do you smoke?” she asks while the grey smoke flows from between her lips.


“Then why do you have a lighter on you?” She says looking curious. Shit. My heart started beating too fast and my breath was catching up, I should have seen this coming. You’re an idiot! You are such a freaking idiot! Augh why haven’t you killed yourself already?

“Uh, my mother smokes,  and she’s been meaning to stop so I’ve been taking her lighters.” I lie, I hope she believes me, I don’t want her to think I was a psychopath. You are a psychopath.

And for the first time in my entire life, the earth decided to generous and the entire student body stampeded out of school, which distracted us long enough.  Suddenly, Roxy slips closer to me and she breathes out smoke near my ear which makes shivers run down my back, and I stiffen.

“Who’s the guy in the green shirt, he’s smiling at you,” she whispers into my ear. I turn and find Matt smiling at me, he winks a friendly wink at me and walks towards his car.

I let out a laugh and say, ”that’s my friend Matt.”

“What type of friend?” She says hinting with her playful voice. She’s turning you on, isn’t she? She is. I’m scared.

“Best friend,” I croak and mentally slap myself.

“Really? He’s cute,” She says. Jealousy stabs me in the stomach and I turn my face hesitantly at her.

“And taken, by Jane.” I say and realize my voice was a bit too demanding. She looked taken aback. She’s realizing you’re a freak and thinking of how to get away from you.

“I didn’t mean for me, he’s not my type, Iris” she laughs, “Look, see the girl in the red blouse?” she asks and I turn and look at Spencer.

“Yeah, that’s Spenc.”

“She’s my type.”

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...