“I’m sorry, but I never actually believed in love”

Our Insecurities get the best of us.
Our fears limit us.
Our obsessions Outcast us.


12. Eleven



“come on help me look for a four leaf clover,” said Roxy laying on the grass in the park. I sat on the blanket we set up and admired her.

“I’m already the luckiest girl alive,” I say and bite my lower lip, “Aren’t I the corniest?” I laugh.

“You are, but it’s cute,” she says sitting with both of her knees next to my hipbones, cradling them.

“Sure it is,” I say and brush a strand of her brown hair behind her ear, she moves closer and kisses me. I wonder if kisses release endorphins to relief pain and numb me down, I wonder if people can get addicted to it.

“I love your green eyes,” I say and look into them, it’s a weird green, light on the outside and then it turns into yellow near the pupil.

“You can have them,” she giggles and plays with the first button in my button up.

“That would make them less gorgeous,” I say and she laughs. I laugh along with her.

We lie down on the blanket, she lifts herself on her elbows so we could look at each other, I felt happy. Nothing was on my mind except her, her eyes, her lips, her hair, her nose, her neck, her feet, her hands, her everything. I could waste my life away just admiring her beauty.

“I like being with you,” she whispers and her breath smells like mint and smoke.

“I like being with you too, I love your company,” I say close my eyes, enjoying her warmth near me.

“Is it normal to like a person in a week?” she asks still playing with my button.

“I liked you the moment I laid eyes on you, and fell in front of your entire family,” we laugh and then it turns quiet.

“I want to take you with me to the city, my band is performing this Sunday, so in case you don’t have church or something, I want to drag your ass out with me to the city.” She says.

“Do I seem like the kind of person who goes to church? My mother is, well was a porn star, so I wouldn’t say I have a religious family, and yes I would love it if you could drag my ass out to the city,” I say and I feel her chest shake with silent laughter.

“I don’t know you seem kind of innocent,” she says and sits up, I follow her.

“Me? Innocent? You haven’t seen me in bed yet,” I wink and she pulls me in for a kiss.

“I would love to see that,” she whispers in between kisses.

I wouldn’t call this making out, just a series of long and passionate kisses, do they have a name for those? All I know this second is that my brain was quiet, just enjoy the feel, taste and smell of Roxy. I could hold her in my arms like this forever. But, I wanted to be a tease just like she was and I pulled away.

“I want to know everything about you, I want to know how many hours it took for you to be born and I want to know how long your little toe is. I want to memorize your scent and know you inside out,” I say to her and I watch her smile. I smile too.

“Sometimes, when I’m at home, in bed, I close my eyes and I wonder if I made you up or if your real, and if you were real, how did I get so lucky?” I say and blush, looking at our entwined legs.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a never ending torso?” and we laugh.



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