it's not that easy

Ailene moves from Ireland to England because of her father's job. In the beginning she scared and lonely, and if that's not bad enough she's also bullied for bien 'different'. What does it take to give Ailene's happy life back?


8. homesick

I walked into the auditory with a lumb in my troath. Everyone was warming up their voice and I just felt so akward. The whole time I didn't talke with anyone, not even Greg, I even tried to avoid him. First the girls sang their songs, but I decided to wait. Then the boys. Greg's voice was amazing, it gave me chills. 'Ailene, the stage is yours.' I shaked as I climped onto the stage and stood behind the microphone. 'What are you going to sing for us?' I gave a paper to Helena so she could play piano to the song. 'The song is called Home, the group is called Celtic Thunder.' I said with a hoarse voice. 'Alright, go for it.' Helena started to play the piano, now there was no way back. I cleared my troath and started singing.' 

Another summer day 
Is come and gone away 
In Paris and Rome 
But I wanna go home 

Maybe surrounded by 
A million people I 
Still feel all alone 
Just wanna go home 
I miss you, you know 

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you 
Each one a line or two 
'I'm fine baby, how are you?'
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough 
My words were cold and flat 
And you deserve more than that 

Another airplane 
Another sunny place 
I'm lucky I know 
But I wanna go home 
I've got to go home 

Let me go home 
I'm just too far from where you are 
I wanna come home 

And it feel just like I'm living someone else's life 
It's like I just stepped outside 
When everything was going right 
And I know just why you could not 
Come along with me 
Cause this was not your dream 
But you always believed in me 

Another winter day has come 
And gone away 
And even Paris and Rome 
I wanna go home 
Let me go home 

And I'm surrounded by 
A million people I 
Still feel alone 
Let go home 
I miss you, you know 

Let me go home 
I'm just too far from where you are 
I wanna come home 
Let me go home 
It'll all be all right 
I'll be home tonight 
I'm coming back home

A tear rolled down my cheeck as I finished the song. Everyone looked at me like I was a mytical animal. 'I chose this song because it's an Irish song expresses my feelings, feeling lost, lonely and homesick. No matter how many people are around you, you still feel like your alone, that's a horrible feeling. And I also chose this song because it was the first song my mu taught my on the guitar. Today is my mom's birthday, she would be 45. I really miss my mom.' My words broke as tears streamed down my face, I just couldn't hold them back anymore. All the emotions that I held in last weeks came out, and I felt really bad because the people here could take advantage of it. I expected Siënna to say something insulting but instead she looked at me with sorrow in her eyes.  Greg looked at me with so much care. and the others did to. I climbed up the stairs and wanted to go sit in the chair in de hind of the auditory but a hand took my wrist and gentely pulled me back. when I turned around I looked into Greg's eyes. 'Please listen to me.' His face sounded begging.' I looked behind him and Siënna's eyes that were filled with sorrow, turned into hate. Ofcourse she doesn't like it when Greg is interacting with me. 'I looked back at Greg and wiped away some tears. 'Please, do you want to listen?' 'Can you please let go of me?' My face was broke and it came out in a whispering voice. 'Ofcourse, soryr.' He said as he let go of my wrist. 'I know just saying sorry won't solve anything but I really am sorry. You were right, I treathed you like shit and I shouldn't have done that. I don't really know you yet but I'm sure you are a great girl, with a great personality and an amazing voice. I understand if you stay mad, you have all the right to stay mad. But at least you know that I feel really bad about it.' I looked at him and I knew he meant it. 'I just need someone who understands I'm not that different, I want to be accepted to.' Before I could say anything els Greg wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. I enjoyed that so much, but then my eye caught Siënna's dead glare.


People were leaving the school, like every friday. People wanted to go home. When the hallway was emty I just wanted to get my stuff but two hand on my shoulders turned me around and slammed me against the lockers. I looked into the cold eyes of  Siënna. 'Wha-' But she didn't gave me the chanche to say anything. She slapped my face. 'If you ever try to talk or even look at Greg, I will beat the shit out of you, do you hear me?!' She kicked me in the stomach with her knee so I fell to my knees. 'Go back to where you come from, we don't want you here.' She grabbed her stuff and walked away. Now I was the only one in the building, sitting on my knees, catching tears in my hands. 


Never was I so happy to go home. I didn't even try to look happy. My dad noticed and hugged me tight, he knew I was having a hard time. 'If we were home I would take you to mom's grave so we could be together and but we can't and I'm so so sorry.' He said as he hold me. I hold on to him even more tight. 'It's not, your fault dad.' 


I looked at the street trough my bedroomwindow, holding the necklace I got from my mom in my hand. 'I miss you mom.' I whispered. 

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