it's not that easy

Ailene moves from Ireland to England because of her father's job. In the beginning she scared and lonely, and if that's not bad enough she's also bullied for bien 'different'. What does it take to give Ailene's happy life back?


4. city

When I looked out of the window, all I saw was a busy street with cars and people. People that are in a hurry. They don't take the time to relax, they are always busy. There is noise all the time. Carss passing and people talking. I was in London for a three weeks now and still I wasn't used to it. I missed the silence of home. My guitar was laying in the corner of my room, untouched since I arrived here. Normally I play guitar everyday or at least a couple days each week. Now I just didn't feel like playing guitar. 


Today would be just an ordinary day? The only thing that would be different is that I had music class today, my first musicclass. The previous weeks the teacher was absent and I didn't know why. I was riding to school with a lump in my stomach. Music class? What if they want me to sing? I decided to clear my mind, not to think about bad things. 


When I put my bike away I saw Macy and Stan waiting form me. Macy introduced me to Stan, he's a nice guy. 'What did you take as extra class?' Stan asked as we walked towards the building. 'Art.' Macy said. 'And you picked Music, didn't you?' She asked as she looked at me. I nodded. 'Music...that's a class I wouldn't pick...' Stan said. 'Why?' 'Just because...since siënna decided to attend that class the mood is ruined.' I sighed, that will make it worse. 'Do you think we need to sing often?' I asked, fear building inside me. 'Sometimes, and sometimes just instruments, bit yeah, it involves a lot of singing.' I nodded and walked over to my locker to get my stuff.


Classes went by like always, and before I knew it, I walked to the big double door that leeded to the auditory. I stood there for a while. Then I laid my hand on the handle and pushed the door open. Head turned towards my and Siënna gave sighed so obvious I could see it from where I was standing. 'What is she doing here?' She asked annoyed as I came in. 'I'm here because I picked music class.' I answered as dry as possible. 'You? You know you need to sing right? Can't even talk properly.' A girl who was standing close to her chuckled. On the stage there was a boy sitting, not just a boy, the boy I knew who was the best player of the basketball team, he was handsome and sportive, what was he doind here? When he noticed me he stood op and walked towards me. 'So you are the new girl? I'm Greg.' 'Hi, I'm ailene.' I knew That came out very clumsy but I just got nervous. 'Greg, just leave that girl, she's a wierdo.' A voice behind me sounded a voice behind me. I didn't even have to turn around to know it was Siënna. Greg looked at here and then back at me. 'I'm sorry.' He said as he walked away. I knew a popumar guy as him wouldn't like me but it still hurt. I looked at him talking to Siënna and he just looked so great. Not much later an older woman walked in, propably the teacher. Now I saw two other girls and a guy sitting on the stage, chatting about guitars. 'Hi Class, I'm miss Peters and in this class I want you to express your feelings but not just by talking but by singing, playing instruments and some other ways related to music in general. Now I want to know how trained your singingvoice is. Someone why wants to start?' Siënna walked forward. 'I'll starts.' Ofcourse, I thought by myself. She started singing a song I didn't know, I had to admit she was pretty good. 'Good, thank you Siënna.' The teacher said ans she looked around. 'who goes next?' I tried my best not to panic, I knew I had to sing, but on my own with all these people listening to only you? The next you was Kaily.' She had long blonde hair and a cute voice. After her was Helena, followed by Timothy. After Timothy was Greg. He obvioulsy wasn't very mottivated but when started singing he was onjoying it, and he had a great voice. 'Beautiful, and now you, what's your name?' I walked towards her with hesitation. 'Ailene..' 'Ailene, so, what are you going to sing for us?' I stared at my feet for a while. 'I don't know that much songs.' I said. Actually I knew a lot of songs, but songs they wouldn't appreciate here. 'The song doesn't matter love.' I tried to stop myself from shacking as I thought of the song that was going a lot throug my mind lately.

Like a bird without wings
That longs to be flying,
Like a motherless child
Left lonely and crying.
Like a song without words,
Like a world without music,
I wouldn’t know what to do
I’d be lost without you
Watchin’ over me.

The teacher stared at me for a moment and I felt like my heart tried to escape from my chest. 'again, what is she doing here?' Siënna snorted. 'She's here on here place, I knew I heard a special accent but wow young lady, your voice is amaing.' The teacher eventually said. I felt myself going red in the face. 'I'm I right if I say you're an Irish girl?' I looked suprised and nodded. 'Yes I am.' 'Well for the rest of the day we just gonna  get to know eachother so at the end of the year we can sing a song appart and one together.' 'Together with her?' Siënna argued as she looked at me and back at the teacher. 'Yes, she will sound lovely in this group.


I sat on the edge of the stage as I watched the others. 'Why is she even here? she's horrible, why don't she go hunt leperchaums and leave us alone?' I heard Siënna say. After all the good things I heard this class I felt that black shadow pulling me down again. And for the first time I really had to do my best not to start crying in front of them. I just kept sitting there on my own, waiting until I could go home. 


Finally the bell ringed and peple grabbed their backpakcs and left the place. Only Greg stayed longer. When I was about to leave he walked faster so he was walking next to me. 'Don't listen to Siënna, your voice is amazing.' He said with a smile before he walked faster to get catch up with his group again. I felt flattered but lonely. 


that night a laid on my bed, listening to my music for hours. I listened to Irish traditional songs, not because I used to do that all the time, but because I wanted to, because I just needed it. And somehow, in the middle of the night, I fell asleep.


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