it's not that easy

Ailene moves from Ireland to England because of her father's job. In the beginning she scared and lonely, and if that's not bad enough she's also bullied for bien 'different'. What does it take to give Ailene's happy life back?


13. Alana

days come and go and slowly I'm getting used to this place. I'm getting used to the busy streets and the Brittish accent, I'm getting used to live in another house and the totally different vieuw. But the only thing I don't get used to is the lonelynes I feel sometimes. No matter how sweet Macy is, I still miss my friends in my hometown, ALana for sure.


It was a day like another, a boring monday. I just tried to avoid some people and only set my mind on the lessons. But as I tried to keep my attention to the blackboard my phoner bussed, it was a text from Aran. The teacher was writing a long resume about the history of England so reading my text wasn't that difficult. from Aran: Alana is sick, she's hospitalized. I didn't want to tell you cuz I didn't want you to worry, but it's getting worse... My stomach made a sick turn. Alana is in hospital? As tears burned in my eyes I raised my hand. 'Yeah Ailene?' The teacher said. 'Can I go out for a minute, it's important.' The teacher must have seen my concerned face because she nodded to give me permission. I ignored a mean commend from the back of the class and when I was outside I pulled out my phone and called Aran. '


Hello, Aran?'

'Ailene, I'm glad I hear you.'

'Is Alana ok? what happened?' '...'

My stomach turned as Aran didn't inmidiatly answered.

'Aren?' 'She's diagosed with cancer...' My heart broke in thousand of pieces.

'She started chemotherapy, luckely they found out in time, so she has quite a big chanche to heel.' Even though he tried I knew Aren was about to break down on the phone, I could hear it in the cracks of his voice.

'Do you want to speak to Alana? I'm at the hospital right now.'

'Yeah...' Not much later the voice of Alana sounded trough my phone, but her voice was very different.


'Alana! Please tell me you are okay, please! Please...'

'I'm okay, don't worry, I'll get trough this.' But no matter how I tried, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.

'I need you Al, I need you, I can't lose you.'

'Don't cry sweety, I'm not going to lose this, I'm going to fight, and I'll win.

' That was the Alana I knew, strong, always a fighter when it comes to things that try to bring her down. 'You know I'm always there for you right? Please call me whenever you need to talk.' 'I know, you've always been there for me, I love you Ailene, I wouldn't know what to do without you.'


After I ended to phonecall I don't feel like going to class again, my teared eyes would cause a lot of bullying and I just couldn't stand that right now. I just slid down the wall, covering my face in my hands. I silently cried because no-one was there, at least that was what I was thinking. 'Look who we have here?' 'It's a crying leperchaum.' 'Should we poke her?' Ilifted my head to see a group of girls I didn't know that well. Just when they were about to come closer the bell rang and saved me from the bullying I was about to get. 'Ailene are you okay?' It was Macy who came running towards me. 'It's my friend...she's really sick.' Macy gave me a tight hug and gave the people behind me a death glare. The whole ay passed by like a blur, all I could think about was Alana. When I came home my father already heard the news. He knew I wanted to go to Ireland, and he told me he would go, but like always the lack of money prevented him to. I was helpless. The only thing I could do was skype and call Alana on a daily base.


I felt a lump in my troath as I pushed open the doors of the auditory. Everyone was already there. 'Welcome Ailene, you can take a seat.' Misses Peters said. The chairs were placed in a circle. 'So we are all going to sing a piece of a song today, is there someone who wants to start?' Slowly I raised my hand. Normally I wouldn't go first, not at all, but I wanted to get my mind claer, and singing was my way to do that, and I knew wich song I was going to sing. 'Okay, Ailene, give us goosebumbs.'

Oh, why you look so sad?

Tears are in your eyes Come on and come to me now.

Don't be ashamed to cry.

Let me see you through 'cause I've seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you .

You don't know what to do.

Nothing you confess,

Could make me love you less,

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by y-

All eyes were on me as I quit singing because it mad me to upset. Ofcourse I expected sole mean comments, And I got them. 'Why are you such a crybaby? I mean yeah it's an emotional song but c'mon...' Siënna sighed. I looked at the ground. 'Because you will never know how it feels when you want to be there for someone and you can't...' I muttured. 'Do you want to explain?' Miss Peters asked. But I shook my head. No, I'll deal ith this on my own.



Next friday everyone was there except Siënna, she wasn't in class eather. Like always I was sitting on the edge, lost in my thoughts. 'Are you okay?' It was the voice of Greg who sat himself next to me. 'Yeah...' I mumbled, still looking down. 'Do you want to tell me what's on yuor mind?' I sighed silently and looked up. 'A friend of mine is diagnosed with cancer...' 'That's horrible.' 'Do you really care?' But I inmidiatly regretted that question. 'Ofcourse I do.' Greg sounded kind of...hurt? 'You propably visit her a lot?' 'I wish I could, but she live sin Ireland...And I-I'm stuck here...' I said with a broken voice. 'Oh...But is it really that bad here?' Is sighed. 'I lost my mum because of cancer, now my best friend has cancer, and I can't be there for her, I can call her, that's it! I'm stuck here in this shitty country with this shitty people. They all hate me and I just hate this place!' 'If you hate this place so much, and you think it's so shitty, why don't you just go back?' Greg suddently snapped. I slid of the stage and wanted to run away but a hand stopped me. I snatched my hand back. 'Ailene I want to be there fot you but if you react this way you just want to be hated.' Greg said. 'Oh, You think I want to be hated and bullied? No! The reason I don't just listen to you is beacause as soon as we leave this room you will treath me like shit again, and again and again! But that's okay because you need to think about your image. But when I'm not nice for once I WANT to be hated?' Greg didn't answer anything, he just grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. 'The reason I don't hang around you with others nearby because...euhm...they'll notice I-I like you. A lot actually' 'You what?!'


I like you, a lot

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