1. I felt empty

I never felt like I did in that moment. I was speechless, I felt empty. I thought I was over, everything. The truth is I knew I would get hurt and I tried to avoid this, but deep inside of me I knew this would happen, I never had the change of telling him how I really felt about him. I loved him, I love him. I know that I will never stop hearing his voice everywhere and I will never forget how miserable I felt when it happened. I tried; I tried to be strong... for him. I didn’t know I could feel this week, that anybody could. I had this plan. I was going to study language, and he was going to get healthy and I would move down to him and we were going to be together. I was mad, I was so mad when he died. Not at him, but myself. He left me, he broke up and he told me he couldn’t live with the fact that I was worrying so much about him that I felt sick. He told me we could be friends, but I pretended I was mad at him. I wasn’t, I was mad at me. I knew this would happen, he knew and he shouldn’t worry about me. I don’t feel anything and that’s what makes me feel this sick. I can’t believe it… His gone, he isn’t coming back… ever.




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