Like children * Complete *

We all made choices we regret; choices that tear us apart. We deplore them so much we wish we could start all over again.
But even with a second chance, can what has been broken be fixed?


12. Chapter 11

I stay in the veranda, still, looking ahead through the window. Snow is falling but I don’t care; I don’t see it properly; I just stare ahead. My sight is blurred by unstoppable tears; I sometimes wipe them away but what for? There always are more flowing down my face.

Many hours go by but I don’t care. One more or one less hour sitting there is nothing; time passing by won’t change anything. Nothing matters anymore; I’m back but everything is still the same. I thought it was strange to be back in 2010 but I understood it was important; I wasn’t given that chance to waste it. But I just realise it now that I am back. It’s too late; there is nothing I can do anymore.

My phone starts to ring but I throw it away; it falls violently on the floor and breaks into pieces. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I know it was my mother trying to call me; I heard my father called her a while ago; he is worried about me. I didn’t tell him what happened; he wouldn’t have believed me if I had. My parents stopped talking about Niall to me a long time ago; they thought I got over him since all those years. They don’t know I still miss him; they can’t understand how hurt I have been ever since he last called me. They probably are wondering why I suddenly am in that state for him. But I won’t explain them; they would think I became mad.

I hear my father walking into the veranda; it is the third time he does so. He sits next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders but doesn’t talk; he expects me to explain him everything. But like the two other times, I rest my head on his shoulder and cry; I don’t talk. He kisses my forehead and walks away. I need to be alone; I need to think about what to do. I know I will never forget Niall nor the chance I wasted but I can’t stay like that for ever. I don’t want to but I have to get over it; this part of my life has to stay in my past.

Night falls and I finally move; I walk into the kitchen where I grab biscuits. I eat there standing in the middle of the room and staring through the window into the darkness of the night. I don’t know where my father is but I don’t mind; I like being alone, mainly today.

Then, I walk out of the kitchen and head to my bedroom. There I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling; I don’t feel like sleeping.


I stare at it for hours; I am exhausted but I don’t fall asleep. I don’t want to dream; lately, every time I sleep I dream of moments I spent with Niall. I stand up and quietly open the door of my bedroom. I slowly go down the stairs and come into the hall. There I take my coat and rush outside; I need to walk. I wander on the streets, not minding where I am going. I look down at my watch: 5 am; my father won’t notice I am gone. Then, I look up at the dark sky and notice all the clouds are gone; showing all the shining stars. I stop dead as I see a shooting star pass by. I collapse in the snow and cry harder than ever. Everything started because of a shooting star twelve years ago and everything ended because of one as well. I can’t hold back my anger any longer.

“Why? What have I done?” I yell in the night; I need to express myself even if there is no one to hear my pain, “I don’t understand! I was happy; I had everything I needed; I had him by my side! But now, I lost it all. I lost him! Why? I want to know why; I need to understand why!” I sob loudly.

“I know I messed it up but do I really deserve to be forgotten so easily? I didn’t mean anything I said; can I be blamed for dreading to lose him?”

Suddenly, cold starts to overrun me and I fall in the snow; feeling my strengths leaving me. I felt weak the whole day and now I can’t move anymore. Cold wind is hitting me like daggers and I can’t get back up.

“Forgive me, please... Niall...” I say in a whisper before passing out.

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