Don't Remember

This is set during Matt Smith's time as the Doctor. This is sort of a different branch to Doctor Who so I'm sorry if you get confused: What would happen when the Doctor dies? Who kills him? If River was born to kill the Doctor and saved him and Clara was born to save the Doctor then...


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1. Don't Remember...

*One Shot*

 

He was such a clever boy. Clever, yet stupid as well. Running off to save the world without any idea of how it would turn out. And he'd remembered even when I'd die without a trace of where I'd been. It's always amazed me how much he risked and sacrificed for others. His selflessness will stay one of the reasons I'd do anything in return...

why did I do it?

Every single point in the time streams I travelled I saw him with another companion. But you know why it didn't bother me? It was because I knew my purpose. And that was to save him. I was born to save the Doctor. If only I knew what it meant to be a saviour. I wish I could reverse time or maybe even give my own life for his. Death seriously gives you something to contemplate and think about. So I thought. I stared at his fading eyes and I thought. I put my hands to the Doctor's hearts and I thought long and hard about why I did it? Then the tears began to fall. Steadily at first and then they just began rushing out. It was hard to see his red bow-tie and his sad brown eyes.

“I'm sorry,” I said quietly.

The Doctor shifted his head slightly towards me and smiled. Then he said that one word that made me regret even more what I had done. Geronimo.

I silently reeled back and watched the golden wisps envelope him. They began at his head and made their way down to his feet. And they shone brighter than any star in the sky. Soon I couldn't even make out the Doctor's form amidst the radiant light.

I turned to see a tall lady with frizzy blonde hair kneeling next to me with her lips pursed and her eyes gazing at the Time Lord at my feet. I moved my hand so she could place hers on his chest.

“I was supposed to save him,” I said, my voice catching.

River looked at me. Her expression was pained. “And I was supposed to kill him.”

We returned to watching the gold glow magnificently. It was like every single cell of his body was being separated and washed away in the spiral. I could sense everything around me standing still as if holding its breath. I shut my eyes and held mine too. And when I opened them he was gone. He'd breathed his last breath. His hearts were no longer beating and he was no longer remembering. The Doctor was dead. I'd killed the Doctor.

“Clara isn't it?” River asked.

I nodded. Was she angry? Sad? Or both?

Without another word River stood and walked away. I wish it was that simple. But it isn't. I buried my head in the Doctor's coat and breathed in all the memories. All the adventures we'd shared and even the ones he hadn't known we'd shared. All of the memories I stored in my brain were going to remain there because I wasn't going to break the promise I'd made the Doctor keep. I was going to remember. And I was going to keep remembering till I died.

Something fluttered down onto my shoulder. I flicked it off and a big golden leaf fell to the ground. I picked it up and held it in my hands. Why did I do it? What had I been thinking?

“I'm sorry.” My body felt heavy from the effect of crying. The TARDIS was standing behind me. It was never to be entered again. The Doctor lay infront of me. He was never going to save the universe again. Why did I do it? Why had I killed the Doctor? I lifted the leaf and let it go. It gently fluttered onto his coat where it lay, completely still. I'd told him to run and remember, which he'd done. But now...

I wish he didn't. I wish he forgot all about me. I raised my head from his shoulder and said the words I thought I'd never say: “Doctor. Don't remember me. If you are listening please forget about me. Don't remember me.”

And I stood with my hope buried under the ground and walked towards the TARDIS. Maybe it was going to get one more trip. One more adventure. I closed the doors and slammed my hand down on the control panel. The TARDIS shuddered. It lurched forward and I was travelling through time and space away from the Doctor. The walls began cracking and dust began falling from the ceiling. I calmly stood and waited. When the TARDIS came to a halt I opened the doors and gazed out at the void of black surrounding me. It was so beautiful. The birth of stars, planets, whole solar systems. I focused on the big planet I'd come to see. Galifrey. I'd never seen his home planet before and even though it was under attack it was still mesmerising. I stepped back and shut the doors again. The TARDIS came to life and twisted as it began travelling again. But this time there was no stopping. And then...

 

nothing...

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