My guardian angel, Harry Styles..

I've tried to kill myself several times before. I am anorexic. I cut. I am depressed. And the last thing I need is your pity.

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Well. As I told you, I am not completely done with life. I still have some things that needs to be finished, before I leave. The one thing that needs to be done is that I want to go Japan and hear The Rolling Stones live. This might sound weird, but I've promised him that. I will make his dreams come true. I will do that, before I leave. I own him that. When I speak about him, I am referring to my brother, Luke. Well he's not my brother anymore, because he is dead. Yeah, he's fucking dead. Someone took him fucking away from me. Well I work in a tattoo shop in the shitty area in London. Everyday is the same. I wake up, go to work, get home, sleep. I am used to this routine. As I said I work in a tattoo shop with Ben. Ben is the owner of the tattoo shop. He ia thirty five years old, married and happy. I don't get it. What is he doing here? He has a reason to live. Why does he want to be here with me and listen to all my problems? I don't deserve people like Ben in my life. I actually don't deserve anything at all, especially not food. Yeah, I am anorexic. And it's not something I am proud of - like my cuts on my wrist. But let's not talk about them. Many people think its easy to recover from anorexia. It's easier when someone force you to eat. But unfortunately mine person is dead because someone decided that he needs to go away. Only bad things happens to me. I lost my brother, I've tried to kill my self and I am anorexic. What a wonderful and happy person I am.

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