I'm trying

I tried you know?
I tried to get them to like me.
Tried to fit in.
But it's just too hard.
No one notices or cares that I'm even present.
It's not worth it anymore.
Nothin can change my mind.
No, he's just one of them.
He'd never care.


1. Why am I here?

Becs pov I walked into the pool hall. Me and my 'friends' met here every seccond week. Or whenever someone wasn't throwing a party. You see, I drink, but I don't get drunk. I'm confident, but I feel like no one likes me. Therefore, I don't bother trying. I hated this point in my life right now. I hated being 17. "Long time no see, bekky" my friend Lauren came up to me, hugging me as she spoke. "Yeah, haven't been well" I lied. We walked over to the pool table. No one even noticed I arrived. No one looked up from what they were doing. Glad to know that I can be seen. Fuck, I hate everyone. "Fuck yes, I win bitch" That was zac. My sorta crush. I like him, but I don't, I think I just wanna makeout with him lol. "Awww, whatever dude" Niall spoke. He was zacs bestfriend. Me and zac were close, but Niall hated me. So, zac chose to ignore me when people were around. Yeah, like I needed that. Zac came to sit down. He say down next to me and pulled out a smoke. "Hey" I said. "Oh hey you" he said while lighting the cigarette. "How you been?" I asked "Yeah pretty-" Niall cut him off. "Oi Zaccyyyt" that's what everyone calls him " come and get us more drinks. See, zac was 20, legal to drink. I still have a couple more months. But Niall was legal too. He probabaly just wanted him away from me. Anyway, zac got up and walked away. Not saying anything to me like "sorry" or "excuse me". He just walked away. I sat there watching Jacob, Alex and Aaron play their pool game and man, was I bored. Lizza, Amy, Lauren, deena and Alanna were all talking to the other boys so I decided to go and talk to them. "Sup guys" I said as I joined the circle. "Bec" Alanna said "I haven't seen you in ages! Did you just get here?" She asked Akward. "Uh, no" I replied "I've been here for about half an hour" "Oops, lol, I didn't see you" she laughed. Yeah, that hurt. They all started talking about some song I didn't even know. I just stood there feeling and listened without commenting.

That's what I usually did anyways. 




Hello readers :) so this book is kinda what I'm going though right now. I just made it a little more dramatic and added Niall haha. The name and ages are

also different, so yeah. But anyways I'll update as often as I can. But please read and love me, thank you x


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