My Diary

So, this is a book about my life so far. It is a collection of my stories in real life put together. I hope you enjoy it, and you will all wonder how I am still sane after it all.


2. Words tell me I am crazy

So this chapter is based on things I have said that I haven't forgotten...


Person 2: If you could change something about you, what would you change?

Person 3: My nose, it's so big.

Me: What's keeping you?


Person 2: Will you marry me?



Person: *Starts singing*

Me: Shoot me now...


Person: I think that...

Me: It doesn't matter what you think!


Person: I'd rather die than listen to you.

Me: So hurry up then! I'll kill you for free.


Person: I won a free Ipad!

Me: Really? How?

Person: I'll send you an e-mail.

Me: The more spam you include the better! Does it come with free viruses as well?


Person: Have you started your menstrual cycle?

Me: No, but you have definitely started your mental cycle.


Person: Wanna fight?

Me: Ok then, why not? Let me just warm up...

*I start doing yoga and stretches for a while and the other person just walks off*


Person: Can we talk?

Me: NO.


Person: Everything is always your fault. I have never done anything wrong.

Me: So what? Sue me. 

Person: I will.

Me: Fine. Do whatever, I don't care. There are more important things in the world for me to waste time on.

Person: I will sue you and you're so mean.

Me: You're an a**hole.


Person: *shouts* She's pregnant! *points at me and laughs lots of people hear.*

Me: You're deranged. No one can help your stupidity.


Person: 2+2 is 4!

Me: You don't say... *sighs and shakes head*


Teacher: What is 10 x 0?

Person: 10!

Teacher: No.

Person: What?! I'm right.

Teacher: Try again.

Person: No, how are you even employed?! You don't know your times tables.

Me: This is going to be a loooong afternoon.


Person: You have nothing...

Me: But good hair!






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