wonderland

I'll take you away, I'll keep you hidden. I'll protect you, I'll love you. Now that we're here we can do what we want. We can be who we want to be. This is our life, this is our beginning and our ending, this is our happily ever after. (The last of the 'tomorrowland' trilogy)

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10. i'm pretty sure that was the breaking point of you and i

{longest chapter title I've ever written, ha}

I left the festival. I had a taxi take me back to the house.

. . . Liam . . .

I walked around the festival grounds for what seemed like hours. She couldn't have left. No she wouldn't just leave.

Would she?

. . . Boston . . . 

When I got back to the house Bergeda looked surprised that I was back days before I was supposed to be. 

"BoBo!!" Lily shouted at the sight of me and I couldn't help but smile. 

"Ma'am?" Bergeda looked at me with caution as I placed my foot on the first stair to go to the upper level. "Is everything alright?" Her accent thick and she struggled over some of the syllables. 

I put on a fake smile. "Everything's great. I just forgot a few things." I hated lying to her, but I had no other choice. I needed to get out of Switzerland. Today. Tonight.

Right now. 

. . . Liam . . .

"Harry! Louis!" I shouted as I saw them. They were both drinking a beer and watching the performer on stage.

Harry looked at me first. "How did your rendezvous go?"

I could punch him. "Have you seen her?" I shouted over the music.

"You've lost her?" Harry was beside himself. "Wow, Li, you are a keeper when it comes to wo--."

"Would you just shut the fuck up?" I said right into his eyes. "You are mere centimeters before I beat you to the ground. Please don't push me right now."

Harry's eyes grew wide and Louis pushes him back and soon he is the one facing me. 

"Liam," he says gently. "What happened?"

"I--I've fucked up," I say, pushing my hair back with my fingers. "Again."

. . . Boston . . .

I thought things between us could turn into something great. Everything I thought was wrong. I was stupid to believe Liam would be any different than he was all those years ago. 

I didn't think he was the same selfish teenager who stole my Tomorrowland pass and tattooed his name into my skin. 

I exhale at the memory. I kept telling myself I was going to get it removed, but there is was. Still in the same place it's always been. 

I grab my backpack. I haven't used this thing since...Tomorrowland. I place some clothing, I would get more in South Africa, into my bag. I didn't have much, and that hurt me again. Liam owned almost everything of mine. He paid for my clothing, he paid for my living expenses. Everything. He did own me. 

He still owns me. 

I sit down onto the edge of the bed. Placing my head in my hands.

What am I doing? 

"I can't leave," I mutter to myself. 

. . . Liam . . .

"Liam," Louis whined. "After everything, and you still can't keep your wits about you. Why didn't you just tell her your plans?"

"I don't know, Louis, okay?!" 

We were back at the tents. The fact of trying to find Zayn and Niall completely vanishing in our thoughts. Bo was the only thing that mattered. 

"She's basically gone through whiplash. You need to do it, Liam! Now!" 

"I don't know where she's at!" 

He crosses his arms. "Are you really that stupid? You actually think she would've left eh country already? Come on, Liam, we're talking about Boston here." 

. . . Boston . . .

I need to get out of here. I could feel the walls growing closer together. Am I really having a panic attack right now. 

I try to breathe and I can't. I go over to the balcony and open it up. I step out onto the ledge and take in the mountains. I place my hands onto the railing and look down. I could do it.

The thoughts been on my mind for weeks now. 

It's so simple. One single jump and it's over. No more worrying, no more hoping, no more of anything. Everything will be over and I will finally be able to breathe without constriction. 

I hadn't realized my thoughts have gotten so dark lately. It was probably because I just didn't want to believe them myself. 

Without thinking I place my leg over the railing. 

One jump. That's all it takes. 

Just one. 

"Bo?" 

I quickly look up at him. His eyes worried, the small steps he was taking to come closer to me. 

"Please don't," I beg him and he stops. "Please."

. . . Liam . . .

"Please don't," she begs me, a glimmer of tears coming down her face. "Please." 

I stop moving and try my hardest not to burst in tears myself. For a second my mind raced back to Danielle. If only I was in this position with her, I could of saved her. 

I was given a second chance with Bo, and it just ended up exactly like Danielle. I couldn't let this story be the same. 

"Bo, what are you doing?" I said it slowly. 

"Please, go away," she says without answering my question. 

I could feel the running of footsteps behind me. I didn't dare take my eyes off her. 

"Boston?" The voice was coming from Louis. 

"No," that was Harry. 

She looked over me and towards them. Her eyes growing wide, she didn't like the new audience. Fuck she didn't even like that I was there. 

"Louis, go away. I mean it," I said without looking back at them. 

"Okay," he said. "Come on Harry, it's time for us to go." 

I hope they really did leave, and they seemed too because her face relaxed just a little. 

"Bo, what's wrong?"

"Please," she started. "I don't need the bullshit, right now."

"Okay," I say slowly. "Then I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything and I'm sorry I didn't ask you this sooner."

I inhaled and then exhaled. Breathe. I placed my left knee on the floor of the balcony and pulled the box from my pocket. 

Her eyes looked like they were about to jump out of the sockets. 

"The reason why I was gone all night is because I paid all the jewelry stores to stay open all night. It was the only time I could go and look. Then nothing looked like it fit you, except this one."

"You're--You're proposing?"

"I guess I am. Bo you are everything to me and I don't know if I would've gotten this far without you. Please, Bo, please marry me." 

This time I was begging and I felt a wave of relief when she nodded. 

I got up and walked towards her and she didn't tell me to stop. Instead she held her arms out for me and placed them around my neck as I pulled her over the balcony and back into the safety of the room. I sat on the floor and she was on my lap. 

I slowly slid the ring on her finger and she stared at it.

"If you want to go to South Africa, we'll go," I say to her. 

"I want to," she hardly speaks. "I'm just so tired, Liam."

"I know," I say to her in the most soothing way possible. "I know." 

Within minutes she's asleep and I pick her up from the ground and place her on the bed. I close the balcony and lock it before leaving the room. 

A sparkle was appearing on the wall and I found the thing causing it. A glimmer from the cluster of diamonds that was laying on her ring finger. 

It was pretty, but it wasn't as beautiful as her. 

She was breathtaking to me. 

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