Heaven


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3. 3.

 

32 days ago

I am sitting in the school cleaner’s cupboard. I am not supposed to be here. I hope he doesn’t find me because he’s quite a big, shouty man and I find him a little bit scary.

It’s lunchtime. All the other kids are in the canteen or on the field but I’m not welcome there and Ana says I have to stay here for now. The smell of curry was floating down the corridors earlier because here at Greenhill High (Secondary Education for Boys) Monday is curry day. And today is Monday.

Anyway, Ana knows I love curry so she’s told me to lock myself up here. I do love curry, but there are 1200 calories in every portion of chicken korma (including pilau rice) and that would take 3 hours of hiking to burn off. Unfortunately I do not have 3 hours spare to hike in and I live in London so there are not many places to hike. I am now lighting a cigarette. I looked online and apparently cigarettes help you lose weight. This is good because I am fat. I am 17 and 5”8 and my target weight is 100 pounds even though the recommended average is 140- 170 pounds. The cigarette is a Marlboro light and is now making me cough a little bit. But the hunger is gone. Once I’ve smoked it down to the filter I throw it onto the floor and stamp it out and open the little box window at the top of the cupboard to let the smell of smoke out. I then pick up one of the janitor’s sprays and spritz a bit of Jasmine Blossom Bloom around. I decide that I like the smell of Jasmine Blossom Bloom a lot and that I will ask mum to buy some for my room at home.

The school bell sounds, signifying that it is time for lesson 5. I have sport with Mr Addiscombe. This is both good and bad.  I love sport, it is fun and good for you and Ana says I should do as much as possible to help me stop being fat. However, it also means getting changed in front of all the boys in my class which is horrible. They laugh at me and say things like “Jamie mate you look like you’re going to snap” then punch me in the side and stare at my ribs for a bit. I don’t think they don’t mean to upset me but they do.  I notice every single movement. I know that when I take off my school shirt they scan my body in disgust. I don’t know why they say I look like I’m about to snap. Ana agrees with me that I look like I’m about to tumble over and roll out of the changing rooms and carry on rolling down Greenhill’s hill and onto the road, lost rolling forever more.

Now is not the time to think and worry though, so I let myself out of the janitor’s cupboard, thankful he hasn’t caught me and walk to my locker to collect my Sports kit.

I dropped the basketball ball two times, got sand from the Astroturf into the cuts on my legs and arms which stung and Gary Newman called me ‘Twigboy’ but apart from that Sport was fun.

And now it was the end of the day, meaning I could retreat back home to the comfort of my bedroom and not be a corpulent eyesore to the rest of the world.

 

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