We Prick You

"Duke’s what you’d call an older man. I’m what you’d call under-age, only he doesn’t know. He thinks I’m 17."

A cautionary tale about a young runaway and the evils of older men.


5. Morning After

I’m so dead.

    The first thing I smell is sick. Please don’t be mine, please don’t be mine…

    …it’s mine. All down my vest , the side of the couch I’m lying on and the carpet beside the couch. Some of it even went in a big plastic bowl someone left. My mouth feels like mum’s home-made vegetable soup. Chunky.

    But I’m not at home, and the only thing my mum’s going to make for me now is a casket. Well, she can wait. I’m too hungover to deal with her shit.

    Everyone else has gone by the sound of things. Dust dances in the sunlight.

    Man, what did I drink last night? Everyone was giving me stuff to try, telling me how Duke thought I might be the one. The one! He must have told everyone at the party about me, blokes and lasses. It felt lush, like I was a celebrity.

    I seriously need a drink, though. Taking care to avoid the sick, I pad around Duke’s sitting room in my vest and pants. Oh yeah, I’m walking around in my undies. The curtains are open, any neighbours want to check out Duke’s new girl, they can come and take a good, hard look.

    There are cans and bottles all over the floor, not to mention kebab cartons, tubes of Pringles, even a few empty Pot Noodles. I make my way to the kitchen, find an almost clean glass and fill it with water. Then I take a swig, swirl it round my mouth and spit. Even after I’ve done this three or four times, my mouth still tastes like death. I’m sure Duke won’t mind if I use his toothbrush. Not after what we did last night.

    Only, when I get to the bathroom, I can’t find a toothbrush anywhere. He doesn’t even have any toothpaste. No wonder his breath is so bad, the dirty bastard.

    I’d tell him that, too, if he was home. But after checking the house from top to bottom, I can’t find him anywhere. Not even a note. So I just get under the covers in his bed and go back to sleep. Maybe I’ll give him a nice surprise when he comes home.

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