Set Her Free

Harry Styles has known something is wrong with him for most of his life. He's wicked smart and really nice, but people don't hang out with him. He gets called 'gay' on a daily basis, although he doesn't know what that means until third grade. He gets called 'weak' when he plays sports, because he's not good at them. He spends too much time looking at the cheerleaders. But it's not because he wants them. He wants to be one of them.

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13. Luna's Story

So. Harriet had been able to find ways to drop hints, but not without crippling effects of dysphoria in between. She hadn't done it yet, she just had plans to.

She wished Luna had prepared her for this.

Speaking of Luna, she had mainly been able to talk to her in the afternoons. Sometimes she was forced to be in boy form, simply because she needed to talk now and she wasn't home alone.

Of course she had asked Luna about it, and asked her to be honest, like always.

Luna had told her her own personal hell.

Luna had had no one to help her throughout most of her life. Like Harriet, she had figured it out at a young age. At her sixth birthday party, instead of asking for princesses she had tried to cut her own penis off! She hadn't been able to, not really, but she had been very close.

After that, the next time it happened was at her eighth birthday party. She had asked for a bra, and her dad had pulled her aside and told her the same thing Harriet had been told at thirteen. But the worst thing about Luna's life before her transition was sports.

Apparently her father had been big on the only boy in the family being the sports nut. She was made to do soccer, football, baseball, all sorts of things that only boys could do in her town.

She told Harriet she had tried to commit suicide.

After she had failed to overdose, Luna's younger sister (whom she chose to call R) had given her so much help. She let her use her bedroom from then on to dress in. She had come with her on separate outings. Granted, those outings hadn't gone well, but it was better than being by herself.

She hadn't tried to commit after any of that, but she had come out to her best friend, a girl named Ali. Ali hadn't taken it well at first. The girl was Luna's friend since kindergarten, and had known her as a boy all her life. But a few days after Luna had revealed her true self, Ali had come around. It looked much brighter for her then.

But there was still dark spots on the horizon.

She still had to come out to her parents.

She still had to see if she could pass out in public.

So, she did the easiest of the two first.

She had to go give R her purse, as she had forgotten it, and found R with a boy. She hadn't disturbed her, knowing she would hate her for it, when this other boy, whom she chose to call The Stupid Jackass, had come up to her. He had recognized her boy role, and tore off her wig in front of everybody.

Harriet had gasped. That was awful. Simply awful.

But there was more to come.

A few days after that incident, Luna had come up from her bedroom to breakfast, dressed as her real self. It had been completely silent, as R was the only one who noticed. Her father was absorbed in the newspaper, and her mother was on the phone. When her father finally looked up, he had stared at Luna like she had four heads. Luna said she had pretended not to notice.

But soon after she tried to leave for school, her dad screamed in her face,

"If you walk out of that door right now don't bother coming back!"

Luna had been kind of crying by then, and Harriet told her she could stop if she needed to. But Luna insisted she needed to share, so Harriet let her continue.

She had gone back downstairs and changed into boy role again. It wasn't until weeks later that she had taken R to the airport with her. She had explained to her that she needed to leave. Luna knew her father would never come around, and she knew for a fact that if she didn't go right then, she never would. She had given R her car as a thank-you for all the help she'd given Luna over the years.

She had left to go live with Teri-Lynn, and had lived as a woman ever since.

She advised Harriet to get a good job right then. She needed a lot of money to be able to pay for the entire transition. Harriet had assured her that her parents had set aside a bank account for her that had nearly two thousand pounds.

"I wish my parents were as thoughtful as yours." Luna had grumbled.

After they'd said goodbye, Harriet had looked up the costs of becoming a woman for real.

Medication / hormones: £400
Psychiatry: £600
Laser hair removal: £800 (face), £2,000 (legs & tummy)
Psycho-therapeutic counselling: £4-6,000 
Facial Feminizing Surgery: £23,000 (inc. travel and accommodation)
Gender Correction Surgery: £10,000 (inc. travel and accommodation)
Breast augmentation: £5,000
Misc (eg. new wardrobe): £4,000

Holy shit.

Okay, time to start numbing that down until she could get it all.

Hormones. She had enough for those for later on. Check.

Psychiatry. She didn't think she needed it, but maybe she should look into it. Just to be sure.

She didn't need laser hair removal on her legs or tummy. She could shave, it didn't matter. But she could afford the one for her face later on.

She still didn't think she needed counseling.

Facial Feminizing would help tremendously, but God she needed to get a job now if she ever wanted to afford that.

Gender Correction would also have to come when she had the pounds.

Breast augmentation would also have to come later.

She didn't need a new wardrobe just yet, and when she did, she wouldn't spend too much of her money on that.

But the grand total of everything she thought she needed was a whopping 40, 200 pounds.

Jesus fucking Christ.

The next thing she looked up was a list of jobs available to teenagers of sixteen in Holmes Chapel.

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