Love and Be loved

What happens when an 18 year old girl gets pregnant, ditched, and hit on again by her boyfriend, then ex-boyfriend? Well, it happened to Refia Snow, and now... She is loved by the one who could ruin both her and her unborn child's lives.


8. Online Schooling.


Online Schooling.

He ran into the living room and called someone. Then he ran back into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth. “Hurry up. When you’re done, we are going to the hospital.” I rinsed and he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the car. It was really hard to move that fast being pregnant and all.

I texted Stella and told her to meet me at the hospital and she said she was on her way. We got there and they pushed me into a wheelchair and pushed me down the hall to the ER. I found out, after Stella got there and a cute doctor came in, that it was because of how much I was getting sick but that it was also because little Nikki was being a brat and not taking in the proper nutrients.

Samm was going to come with us to go dress shopping to give the guys POV. We were going to ride with him. I looked down at my stomach and told Nikki, “Nikki, baby, you are making mommy sick. Eat what you can and quite with the morning sickness not in the morning.” I rubbed my stomach and looked up. Stella was staring at me with a huge smile on her face, and Samm was looking at me with so much love in his eyes that they were starting to tear up. “What?” I asked. Samm said, “Well, you talking to Nikki is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” And Stella said, “That is so sweet that you were talking to her and calling yourself ‘mommy’.” I smiled and linked an arm through both of them. “You guys are so overdoing this with the shock and surprise.” Stella brought her car over to Samm’s house and we all went to the mall on the other side of town, the rich side.

Getting out of the car, Stella turned to me and said “How do I look?” “Like a freaking silver Goddess! What about me?” Stella freaked me out when she looked me over and frowned, then said, “You don’t even look pregnant, more like a beauty from somewhere beautiful. I know my analogies suck.” I grabbed Samm’s hand on the right and linked my arm through Stella’s again, leading our way to our favorite shopping store. We walked in and instantly I felt depressed; I wouldn’t be able to buy myself a dress, but I was going to try to stay happy for Stella; this is her day for her dress.

We walked around the store and looking at a bunch of clothes. I wanted to get more clothes and I had $400 to spend on myself for right now. Looking at the collection of dresses, Stella was like a little kid in a candy shop. She was looking at a beautiful teal dress that flowed perfectly in all the right places and looked amazing on her. She tried on a couple more, but she fell in love with the teal. She put it back on and she glowed. I nodded, and she looked down at the price. Her face fell. “It’s too much. I can’t afford it, its $166 over what I have and I can’t afford it.” I thought about it. “Stella, what if I paid it for you? What if I spend some of my money for you?” Stella looked at me like I was the best thing on planet earth. “Really?!” she hugged me. “Oh, THANK YOU REFFY!” I smiled and we went to pick out some shoes. Over all, I had paid $297 of my 400, but I was totally glad I did. Driving home, Samm stopped at my favorite Chinese restraint and we had dinner. After we dropped off Stella with her dress and shoes, then we headed home and I changed the radio station. “OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG!” I shrieked as I cranked up the volume to Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”. “I kissed a girl and I liked it, hope my boyfriend don’t mind it. It felt so wrong, it felt so right, don’t mean I’m in love tonight. I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it.” I sang before I noticed Samm laughing so hard his entire body shook. “What?” I asked. So what if I like this song. “You kissed a girl and liked it?” he chuckled. “It’s the song, pervert!” I laughed.

Pulling up to the house that was starting to look like home, I thought of something. “When are we going to go see your mom and dad?” I asked Samm. “I was thinking tomorrow around noon. Why?” “Oh I was just wondering if we could stop by the bank tomorrow since I think your mom is going to drag me to go shopping for baby stuff with her.” I was also planning on getting them a little something too. Even though they were in their mid-forties, they both still liked the little bit of sex that they got, and Silvia had a secret stash of sex toys. She showed me so that if I wanted something, I would know what to get… gross I know. I told Samm what I was planning and he laughed so hard. “Ew, it’s so gross to know your mother has sex toys!” he laughed. He nodded but told me I had to go in to the store by myself, seeing as he wasn’t going to put one foot in there. I might have to get something that he would like too.

Going upstairs, I changed into my t-shirt and shorts that I have started wearing to bed since I was showing baby Nikki. I walked downstairs and grabbed one of my favorite ice creams from in the freezer. It was a cone with nuts on the outside and caramel inside of the ice cream. I turned around and ran into Samm. “Jeesh, Samm, make a noise. Creeping up on someone when she is getting her ice cream.” I laughed and smacked his abs. He snatched my ice cream cone from me and took a huge bite. “Aw man, you just ate half of my caramel Samm!” I whined. He handed it back to me and I turned on my heel and stomped out. I made it half way up the stairs when he caught up with me and picked me up and pulled me over his shoulder. I was laughing too hard to complain.  I was eating my ice cream again and he plopped me on the bed making it go all over my face. He laughed when I snorted ice cream out of my nose. “Never been more beautiful than you are now.” He whispered as he kissed the vanilla off my face. I laughed and pushed the remainder of my ice cream on his face. “Now we match.” I said and went to go get the ice cream off of my face. He followed me and laughed and threw the cone away seeing as there wasn’t any more ice cream in it. We climbed in bed and for the first time in a while, I slept dreamlessly.


“Refia, are you going to wake up? Remember we were supposed to go see my parents and get their surprise?  Wake up Refia, babe.” I heard, and then I felt his lips on mine and my eyes snapped open and my arms wound around his neck. “Nope, not until you get up.” Samm said as he pulled away from me. I sighed and sat up. I blinked and rubbed my eyes and stretched. I climbed out of bed and started to strip down so I could change. I put on some cozy sweat pants and a t- shirt. Silvia knows I don’t do dressing up. I cooked breakfast and after we ate, we headed out to my bank. I took out a bunch of money, and we drove to the sex toys place. I went in and got something for Silvia, me and Samm, and headed back out to the car. He looked at the bag but said, “I don’t want to know.” And started driving towards his parents’ house. Pulling up to the house that was already familiar, I made sure I had the pictures in my purse, and moved Silvia’s present to my purse too so that I could leave mine in the car.   

I walked up to the door and knocked before opening it and stepped into the beautiful living room. “Hey, Silvia, hey Richard!” I chirped. “Hey dear how are you?” Richard said. “I’m good. I got you a present.” I said to Silvia. I grabbed her arm and walked out of the living room, past Richard and Samm, and brought her to her bedroom. She sat on the bed and I gave it to her and she laughed and put it in her stash. “Thanks Hun, now let’s go back out there before they come in.” She pulled me out with her and into the hall. “OK, Refia, you ready?” Samm asked. I nodded. “Mom, dad, we have got some good news for you.” Samm said. He looked at me. “We’re having a baby girl!” I said. Silvia burst into tears and hugged me tight. Richard smiled and hugged his son and then me. “Congratulations you guys!” Richard said. Silvia pulled back and told me, “We need to go shopping and soon.” I laughed and said, “Well, I kind of figured that, so we stopped by our bank so I could get some money. I’m ready to go shopping when you are!” In the end, Samm and Richard stayed home and Silvia and I went to the mall to go baby shopping for Nikki.

Have you ever been 7 and a half months pregnant and had to walk up a bunch of stairs? If not, I wouldn’t suggest it. Sylvia dragged me all the way around the mall. We went from store to store to store, buying everything in the store for a baby girl. We got pinks and purples and yellows and blues and a whole lot of other pretty colors. Her crib was a mahogany wooden one with a beautiful pale violet blanket and a stroller and changing station. By the time that we were heading home, we had a bunch of things stacked in the trunk and the back seat of the car and we had to call Samm to come get the rest of it. When we got back to Sylvia and Richard’s house, we had a really nice Italian dinner. By the time that 9:30 came, I was exhausted so we went home, bringing as much stuff as we could with us. We had an extra room set up already for Nikki, so we moved the stuff into the room so that tomorrow we could start setting things up for her. I went to our room and changed into my pj’s. Samm came and lay next to me and I had to ask. “Samm, do you not like me as much because I am always too tired to have sex anymore?” I mumbled, looking at his eyes while he held me. “No, because I understand you are going through something that will make you tired. You are working harder than anyone else your age. It doesn’t matter.” I smiled up at him and was asleep instantly.


I woke up on Monday morning and groaned. I couldn’t go back to sleep now that I was used to my morning schedule and Samm left me a note saying,

“Refia, baby, please do your work. You won’t get to graduate unless you do. And you want to go to prom too. I love you and I have a surprise for you later tonight.

I love you. Samm

I was regretting my getting expelled, but I got started on my schoolwork. I grabbed my laptop and sat down in the kitchen with the music on. It wasn’t that hard to work on, and it made more sense than regular class, except for the calculus, so I would save that so Samm could help me. After 8 short hours, Samm came home and sat next to me. He helped me with my calculus and said, “Shut off your laptop. I will go pick out your clothes for you to wear because I don’t want to tell you where we are going.” I frowned and looked down to Nikki. “Your daddy is turning into a little control freak. It’s a good thing he has a pretty face.” I rubbed my stomach. Samm came back into the living room while I was rubbing it and he came over and hugged me. “Go get dressed.” He murmured in my ear. I nodded and went to the room to see what he picked out for me. I narrowed my eyes. It was my bikini and dress that goes over it. I haven’t been swimming since I got pregnant. I put it on and slipped on my flip flops, and walked out into the living room. “Why these clothes? I already am not bikini body perfect, but there isn’t a pool or anything open right now that doesn’t have a million people there.” He smirked and we walked out to his car; he was still in the process of teaching me how to drive, apparently I am a horrible driver.  He drove for a while, and by now, I was lost. Finally he stopped and he came out to get me. Opening my door, I smelled salty water. I was really confused. Why were we at the beach?

“This way Refia.” Samm said as he grabbed my hand. He stopped at the most beautiful spot and kicked off his shoes and shirt, pulling off his pants to reveal his swim shorts, and hung them on the tree branches and walked towards the water. I stepped out of my flip flops and took off my dress and put next to his clothes. I walked out the water edge and shivered as the cold water hit my feet. Samm held my hand and we walked out deeper getting up to our necks. I felt his hands slide to my stomach and start to massage my belly.  I wrapped my hands around his neck and brought myself closer. His arms moved to my back and he kissed me back. I brought my arms away from his neck and brought them behind my head and untied my bikini top and pulled it off, throwing it as close as I could to the shore, and did the same with my bottoms. Samm broke the kiss as he pulled off his shorts, and threw them to the shore, and then he went under the water where I couldn’t see him and felt his lips on my stomach.

He continued to kiss up from my stomach until he broke the surface and made his way to my mouth. I felt my heart speed up as we both slipped under the water together. I could taste the salt on his lips and I felt him insert himself into me I lifted my head a few inches to take a breath and then I went back under. I moved my hands down and his held my back. This felt amazing.


“Well?” Samm asked as we lay on the roof of the car. “Well what?” I questioned. He chuckled. “How was the date I brought you on?” I sighed. “Beautiful, romantic, nice, amazing. There aren’t enough words in the English language to say what I thought about the date.” I brought my head up to kiss him, and then my phone blared. “Hello?” I grumbled. “Reffy, I… I need help… Brecken is here… my house… LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”  And then the phone cut off. I sat up really fast. Stella sounded like something was up. “Samm, Stella’s in trouble. Come ON we have to go help her!” I yelled. He jumped around to his side of the car and I got in mine and we drove to Stella’s house. I didn’t even bother knocking; I had a house key. I heard her crying upstairs. “No Brecken stop! STOP! Please, I didn’t do anything!” I didn’t wait to hear anything, or to think. I sprinted up the stairs and made it to her room. I opened the door as quietly as I could and saw something horrible. Brecken had his pants around his ankles and Stella’s mouth closed. He was raping her. She saw me and I shook my head and backed out quietly to grab something from the hallway. I ran back into the room and screamed. “GET OFF HER! GET OFF HER RIGHT NOW” and I hit him with the umbrella I found in the hallway.

Samm came in and pulled him off of Stella and knocked him to the floor. I sat on the bed with a sobbing Stella. “I was ex-ex-expecting Bentley to come o-o-over, and it was hi-him instead. I only remember seeing him at the doo-door and then him being on top of me.” She sobbed. I let her cry herself out on me, and by then, Samm called Bentley and he was here, but he had also called the cops. We moved Brecken into the living room, and then I stayed downstairs to wait for the cops to show up. When the police got there, I was shocked to find out that it was Alex and Annabelle waiting outside for me to open the door. “Hey guys, sorry we couldn’t make it to the party… there was a lot happening.” I explained. “It’s cool, the party got cancelled anyways.” Annabelle told me. I held the door open and led them upstairs to where Stella was still sitting on her bed crying softly. Annabelle’s eyes got huge. “Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?” she asked in her soothing voice. She burst into tears again. Samm filled her in on what we could. “What is with Brecken being such a… a… douche? This is the 11th call we got in 5 years about him being this way.” Alex said. I noticed just then that Bentley didn’t say anything during this whole time.

            Annabelle and Alex took our statements, grabbed Brecken and put him in the backseat of their car, and then left. Samm and I had to leave but first I wanted to talk to Bentley. I pulled him out to the living room. “Why were you just ignoring Stella? She needs you now more than ever.” He frowned. “Because, I am repulsed by the fact that my own brother would do this to the woman I love. It makes me feel like I should be out there killing people like him but I know I can’t.” he rubbed his eyes and looked up; he suddenly looked like he was 50 years old. I looked at him.  “That doesn’t mean anything. She knows you the most. You need to be helping her.” He nodded at me and so I left, only after I hugged Stella hard. I walked after Samm and we left. “That was horrible. I feel so sorry for her. He deserves everything he has coming for him. Stella deserves that less than hardly anyone that I know. Actually I wouldn’t put that on anyone…” Samm kept talking. I let him just do that. I was thinking. Brecken was always so nice and caring, and then I got pregnant, he became a jerk, hit me, and now raped my best friend.

 “Refia?” Samm asked me. I realized we were home, but I was zoned out that entire time. “I’m sorry, I was thinking. What?” I said as he helped me out. “I said, would you want to work on Nikki’s room tonight, or just relax?” I thought about it. “We can relax some other time. Let’s work on Nikki’s room for a while.” I said as we headed into the house.  We walked down the hall and into the first room on the left. It was a shock; everything was all over the place, and it was overwhelming.  We had her crib set up and several other things.  I walked over to the bed and picked up the fuzzy brown bear that was sitting in it. It was Samm’s when he was a baby, and Sylvia gave it to us the other day. I sighed and turned around and grabbed her clothes to put in the dresser; they were so TINY it was cute. I sighed again, and wished that I hadn’t. “I’ll be right back, Samm.” I said as I rushed out of the room and into the bathroom… Stupid being sick. I turned around and brushed my teeth, and padded back to the room. Samm stood against the door, and my heart skipped several beats. “Are you alright?” he asked me. I nodded. “It was morning sickness again, but, sadly, not in the morning.” I mumbled.

In the end, we got most of Nikki’s room set up, but by midnight we had to call it quits. I was exhausted; I had barley heard Samm tell me goodnight before I passed out.

 Smoke was clouding my vision. No this can’t be happening. Fire. There is no way this is happening! “Help!” I screamed. “HELP! HELP! PLEASE, MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE AND I CAN’T GET OUT! HELP!” No one was around to hear me. All of a sudden, I heard a wailing; a baby. Nikki. I ran to her room just in time to see her little body burst into flames and she screamed and wailed even louder. “Nikki, no Nikki!” I sobbed as I tried to pick her up. She wailed like a siren, and I started bawling too; I was burning alive with my daughter in my arms. I managed to look out of the window, and Samm was standing outside with his hands tucked into his pockets and an evil grin on his face. “SAMM HELP ME! NIKKI AND I! WERE STUCK! WE CAN’T GET OUT!” and Samm spoke up through the window pain; “There is nothing I can do to help you. You deserve to die. I am sorry but you do. I love you.”

“REFIA WAKE UP!” Samm was shaking me. I sat up and felt sweat on the back of my neck and tears running down my face. I wiped my eyes. “You were flailing in your sleep and then you started to cry. What happened?”  I sucked in a deep breath and retold the dream. When I finished, he was sitting there, paler than usual. “Why would you dream something like that? I would never not try to help you or Nikki or anyone else that I love if something like that was happening. I wouldn’t leave you and my unborn daughter in a burning building. I wouldn’t, ever.”I hugged him. “I know you wouldn’t, it was just a dream.” I said to reassure myself as well as him. I looked at the clock. It said 5:35. “Ugh, this is so early. I don’t know how you do it.” I said to Samm; he always woke up at this time for school. He chuckled. “Then go back to bed for a while. You can sleep in as long as you feel like when you do your classes online. Besides, this is better than having to go see those people all day every day.” I looked at him. “But I also can’t see you for the 2 class periods that we had.” “But we get all day together, just minus the 8 hours that you will be here and I will be in the hell hole called a school.” And with that he kissed me, and went to take a shower. I turned on the TV and sat there listening to the background sounds. 15 minutes later, Samm came back in with a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to the closet and pulled out a pair of khakis and a teal button down shirt. He turned around and placed them on the bed and turned back to the closet.  He came back out with a maroon shirt and held up the teal one. “Which one should I wear?” he asked. “Teal.” I said. He nodded and pulled some underwear and then the pants. He tucked in the teal shirt and put a black leather belt through the loops.

I got up and pulled down my shorts and got up and helped him pick out his tie; he was not very good with picking matching ties. I pulled out a black tie and tied it around his neck. He combed his wet hair, grabbed his wallet, and pulled on his socks and shoes. We went to the kitchen together and I fixed him breakfast. He grabbed his laptop and his school things, and set them on the couch next to the door. I sat down with him while he ate. When he was done eating, I got up and hugged him. I looked up and kissed him swiftly on the lips. I handed him his papers and laptop and stayed at the door until he drove away. I sighed then; I was never going to get back to bed. I fixed me some pancakes and sat down with my laptop and phone to start on my work. I finished eating and went and washed off both of our breakfast stuff, dried it, and put them away. I went and finished my homework, and by then I got a text from Stella. Samm said hi and how are you doing at home. Apparently Bentley got grounded, and we haven’t hung out in a while. You wanna hang out after school?  I nodded before remembering she couldn’t see me. Yeah, let’s do it! Have some girly girl-friend time. I think we could both use a little girl time to ourselves.  I now had an entire day to myself. I decided I was going to do something outside.

I went to the closet in the living room and grabbed my paints and my canvas and put them in my art bags. I went into the bedroom and grabbed my sketch book and pencils and put them in the bag with my paints. I grabbed my phone and my iPod and started to walk to the park a couple blocks away; there was some amazing scenery in the park, and it was usually empty in the middle of the day seeing as most people are working or are in school, so they usually go in the morning or in the late afternoon.

Getting to the park, I looked around and picked the perfect spot under a big maple tree across from the large pond. I set up the paints and canvas against the tree and started to paint the forest behind me, making sure I got the light perfectly as it came through the tree branches and made pretty patterns on the ground. I set the finished picture on the other side of the tree and blared my music louder than I had it. I turned around to the pond and started to draw with the pencils. When I was finished, my stomach was growling so I packed up, carrying my painting and making sure my drawing was safely tucked away inside my folder, not getting blurred anymore than it already is.

I got home 10 minutes later and made myself a sandwich with chips for lunch. I finished eating and checked my phone; 3 missed calls and 4 unread texts. I checked the calls first; BayBay, Stella, BayBay. I checked my texts; 2 from Stella and 2 from Samm.  The 2 from Stella said, Ok, so maybe I can come get you right after school... and So I told Samm and he is fine with it… says he loves you. And from Samm: have fun on your girls day tonight. And how was your school day? Do you need any help with anything? I texted Stella back first: Ok that’s fine! Made new artwork today. And then I texted Samm: I love you… I will have fun… My day was fine; I finished all of my schoolwork so I went to the park. I went out into the living room and started to watch “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” I really didn’t like the show, but they were interesting with their lives; sometimes I wanted a life like a rich person, but then I feel guilty for thinking that and get instantly happy with my own life again. I suddenly got an inspiration and went and got my sketch book and pencils and traced the living room down to the last details. I added me on the couch and Samm sitting beside me with my head in his lap. I added some colors to it and turned it over onto the back. In the middle of the page, I wrote out:


You are the love of my life. I can’t believe I am so happy to have you.

You have made my life amazing. I couldn’t have gone where I am now without you.

The way you chose to raise my child as your own made me realize that I don’t want anyone else in my life except for you. You made me think twice before I chose to be with someone like Brecken.

You kept me from thinking about ending my own life.

Merry Christmas. I love you.


I smiled. I finally got the chance to tell him everything I needed to tell him. I put it in my picture book and thought about how I was going to give him this on Christmas. I decided I would make an envelope for it and give it to him as a card, and then get him a present. Now I just had a little over 2 months to think about what I was going to give him for Christmas. I checked the time and saw that school would be letting out in an hour. I went to the room and grabbed my towel and I went to take a shower. I tried to get the hot water to work and it didn’t work. Frustrated, I slammed off the water and went to go get dressed. I picked out one of my off the shoulder top, this one a forest green, with my white skinny jeans and black wedges. I fixed my hair and put on a little make up and put on some earrings and a necklace. I went back into the living room and just sat down there, continuing to watch my TV episode. There was a knock at the door. I wasn’t even concerned with the fact that it was still way too early for Stella to be there. I got up and answered the door and there was a strange man at the door. He was taller than Samm, and he was burly. He grunted out, “You Refia?” Now I was suspicious. I nodded. He grinned an evil grin. 

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