You Don't Understand

A story about a girl named brinely being bullied, betrayed, but also her friendship!

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9. Brinelys Pov

Brinley's p.o.v

... I see the razor.. The razor see's me..

It see's deeper inside of me then me myself. It show's me more about myself. I learn about myself.. Looking at this razor. 

The razor is me. I am the razor..

The razor completes me.. But I can't..

I won't. I will. I can't.. I can. I won't.

I looked away but my mind kept bringing me back too look again at the razor..

It was there.. and when I looked back it was gone..

was this all just a dream? is this all a dream? am I dreaming. 

I'm not dreaming.. I looked back.. It's there..

I.. I don't know what's going on.

I.. I.. I can't see straight..

I looked down at my wrist.. it's pouring the blood..

what's going on..? 

I.. I.. I might as well. She'll never notice. I have my bracelets.. I see her bandages.. I can do this..

I grabbed her razor.. I looked down at my arms.. This is just the same old, same old. 

I placed the razor up upon my wrist..

I slowly dragged it across my wrist..

Watching the blood ooze out of my wrist.. 

I did about 10 cuts and then slowly washed my wrist so it wouldn't hurt my wrist. I covered it with bandages and put on that outfit. I put my bracelets on and towel tried my hair..

I placed the razor down in the exact spot. Not before cleaning the blood off. 

I can't believe I did it.. I said I won't..

I need too stop this,this is constantly what I do and I hate it.

I wish I wasn't depressed. I wish someone loved me. I'm not well-liked. I'm annoying.. I'm fat.. And I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I'm me.

Nobody can feel my pain.. They'll never understand. You Don't Understand. You'll never understand..

Born with depression and then.. my "parents" making it ten times worse..

They people with the perfect life don't get it.

I struggle in a lot of things.. in everything.. everyday things..

 facing people are my worst nightmare.. I.. I don't know how too fix myself.. I was born broken.. I can't even be fixed.

even if someone loved me.. I'd be too scared too let them in.. let them know my story.. how could I ever trust?

When your mom's mom asked for your brother Blake and completely ignores you.. It hurts..

Then there's my sister..
Constantly telling her that she's beautiful.. Ignoring me. It fucking hurts and You Don't Understand.

I can't do it anymore! It's making me angry! I'm a fucking dog too them! To get my shit! I won't do it anymore!

I want a fucking mom that loves me. I don't want to be a random dumbass off the road in the Winter!

I want something from my life!
I don't want my life too be a living hell.
My god... I just.. I realized .. I am.. I am that dumbass off the Winter street..  I.. I.. I.. I've gotta leave..

I need too live on my own..

Screw anyone who judges me.
I'm not leaving. I'm going too start taking up for myself. I'll stop cutting.. I'll always depressed but I won't cut..

My skins not paper.

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