Theatre of parodies

Your beloved Dexholders are acting out in a series of parodies of movies and even parody of the parody in one-shot styles chapters. Cussing and violence warning. Please do review upon reading. There will be laughter, Romance, drama, and randomness.


12. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi part one

Long Time ago, in a galaxy far far away…..the end is near. Just kidding

Star Wars

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi

The Galactic Empire is rebuilding the Death Star…..You know it's the end of the story, I won't care to explain what is going on. If you know the Star Wars saga well, good for you. If you don't, too bad watch the films please! Start with Episode 1 to 6.

Also I am tired of this of this. I am on retiring from this. You know the Director wrote a parody in Urusei Yatsura before. It's just that one has more craziness and madness due how that comedy works.

Also building another Death Star is kind of wasting money. Who does that? No wonder the Empire has financial problems by funding projects they can be easily destroy. Also the Director is writing romance parodies on February.

After the Intro ends as the construction of the Death Star II, a Star Destroyer comes near which a Shuttle come out with two fighters protecting it. They allow the Shuttle inside the Death Star.

Imperial Officer: Inform the commander that Lord Giovanni has Arrive.

Vader appeared to Imperial officer in charge.

Sabrina: My lord, this is unexpect which it honors us for your arrival.

Giovanni: I am here to put you back to schedule!

Sabrina: Surely, my men are working hardest they can.

Giovanni: I can find new ways to motivate them.

Sabrina: You ask the impossible. I need more men.

Giovanni: You can tell that to the Empress when she arrives. She is displeased with your lack of efforts.

Sabrina: ! She's coming here?

This frightens her.

Giovanni: Correct.

Sabrina: We will double our efforts!

Giovanni: Good, she is not forgiving as I am.

Vader leaves the Imperial Officer alone. At Desert Planet

Pearl: Man, I hate this planet.

Dia: I remember when we got here.

Pearl: Yeah, kidnapped by Jawas.

They reach to Jabba's palace. They enter inside.

Morty (Bib): What you here for?

Pearl: We brought a message for you master.

Dia: Yeah.

They go the main chamber lead by Jabba the Hutt who speaks entirely in Huttese.

Eusine (Jabba): What is it?

Pearl: Wait, are there two Jabbas?

Eusine: If you refer my sister, yes.

Morty: They bought you a message.

Pearl: Show him!

Dia: Right.

Silver: Hello, Jabba. I'm Luke Skywalker. I offer something in return for Captain Solo. Two droids.

Pearl: Wait, what?

Morty: He does offer a bargain.

Eusine: Well….no! I don't want to lose my private prize. Solo stays there.

They all laugh and they sent the droids to become slaves for Jabba. They are enjoying their party until they heard someone. That person came in with Chewy in chains.

Sapphire: Let me go, you scum!

They taken to Jabba.

Eusine: Finally! I got the might Chewbecca. Tranlastor!

Pearl: yea?

Eusine: Tell him, I will offer 10,000.

The Bounty Hunter: I want 15,000.

Pearl: he says 15,0000.

Eusine: What! That's too pricy for me. Tell him why?

Pearl: Ok, um. He asked why he asked for 15,000?

The Bounty Hunter reveals the thermal detonator in its hand. They take duck and cover.

Eusine: Oh, I like this guy. Translator, tell him I will offer 14,000 and take it.

Pearl: Ok. He says 14,000 and takes it.

Bounty Hunter: Done.

They taken Chewy to her cell. Late Night, the bounty hunter comes near the Carbon frozen Han Solo. Then the Carbon defreezes until Han is awake.

Bounty Hunter: Just relax. There are side effects to Carbon Freezing.

Gold: I can't see!

Bounty Hunter: Your eye sight will return in time.

Gold: OW! Where am I?

Bounty Hunter: Jabba's palace

Gold: You sound serious? Who are you?

The Bounty hunter reveals to be Leia.

Crystal: Someone who love you, Gold.

Republic Empire: I am not to comment on that.

They make out until Leia picks Han up.

Crystal: Let's get you out.

They hear laughter.

Gold: Wait a sec, I know that Laugh.

It was reveal that Jabba and the others will waiting.

Eusine: So, alive and well?

Gold: Look, Jabba. I was on my way to pay you back. Ain't my fault.

Eusine: Hah! You were once a good smuggler and a good ladies man, but you are nothing as Miltank's poop.

They all laugh at him.

Gold: Jabba, look!

Eusine: Take him away!

Gold: Wait, you're throwing a good fortune. DON"T BE A IDIOT!

They take Solo away leaving….

Eusine: YOU! You will be my sex slave.

Crystal: Oh, no!

At the next day, Luke comes in.

Morty: You not supposed to be here.

Silver: I must speak with Jabba.

Morty: You want to speak?

Silver: I need to speak with Jabba and you will take me to Jabba.

Morty: I will take you to Jabba.

Silver: You will be rewarded.

They to go Jabba.

Eusine: Bib! What the Hell! I said he can't come here!

Silver: I must be allowed to speak.

Morty: He must speak.

Eusine: You idiot! He using Jedi Powers.

Silver: You will return Solo and the Wookie to me.

Eusine: Your Jedi powers don't work on me.

Silver: Nevertheless, I will take Captain Solo and the Wookie. If you don't, there will be a price to pay.

Pearl: Wait! You're standing on…

Eusine: Now you will die!

It wasn't til Luke was sent to the Rancor which he was able to kill it. Jabba is piss off due of the result. He wanted him, Solo, and Chewy out. As they drag Luke.

Silver: Han!

Gold: Luke!

Silver: Still alive?

Gold: Same as always. Where's Crys?

Crystal: I'm Here!

Eusine: Translator!

Pearl: Oh, um. You being to the sarlacc pit. Jabba wished to end you lives faster.

Gold: Good, I hate long waits.

Pearl: Except you will suffer for 1000 years.

Sapphire: What?!

Gold: That…kinda sucks.

Silver: You should have bargain, Jabba.

After that, they all at the Dunes which they head to the Sarlacc pit.

Gold: My eyes are getting better.

Silver: That's great to know. I used to live here.

Gold: You can die here, you know.

Luke glares at Han.

Silver: Don't worry I got this plan out.

Gold: Great to know.

At the Sail Barge as Leia looks for our Heroes until she was pulled by Jabba.

Eusine: Soon, you will apprenticed me. Plus you will love me.

Crystal: Like hell I would.


Pearl: Sorry about it.

Dia: Hey, you spill the drinks!

Pearl: Dia! Have you heard? They going to kill master Luke.

Dia: Why you didn't say so before?

R2 goes somewhere. Outside, they can see the Sarlacc pit with it's wonders (Yes, I use to the Special Edition. Get use it!) Jabba speaks while C-3PO translate.

Pearl: His excellence wishes that you die honorable.

Gold: Hey! C-3PO, tell that no good slime face. That to say…(he makes his trademark face) IN YOUR DREAMS!

Sapphire: YEAH!

R2 position himself.

Silver: Jabba, this is your last chance. Free us or die!

Eusine: Push him!

They prepare to push him, but Luke looks at R2. Then, R2 reveals Luke's lightersaber. Then, Luke jumps up and come back to the Skiff to grab the lightsaber by R2 who throw it. The fight ensures which Boba Fett join the fight which he lost his gun. Until…..

Sapphire: Boba!

Gold: Boba? Who is Boba?

Han knocks Boba's jet pack leave him to the Sarlacc pit which he will come back in the expanded Universe. In the mist of the chaos, Leia kills Jabba, freed by R2, join Luke to destroy the Sail Barge. They flee from the explosion and they on their respective ships. ON Luke's x-wing….

Crystal: Luke, you better come to the rally meeting.

Silver: Ok.

Gold: Hey, thank you. I own you one.

Silver: You're welcome.

The falcon flew away.

Dia: Where are we going?

Silver: I have a promise. TO an old friend.

As the X-Wing flies away. On the Second Death Star where the Imperial forces are rallying when the Imperial Shuttles enters the Death Star. TIE fighter and bombers are summoned. The true moment for the Imperials to see. The Empress is here! Giovanni stands front of the Shuttle as the Royal Guards come out of the shuttle to form a column line. Giovanni kneed.

Sird: Rise, Lord Giovanni.

Giovanni: My Empress.

Sird: How's your search for young Luke Skywalker?

Giovanni: Close, my Empress.

Sird: Patience. When the time comes, he will come to you and bring him before me.

Giovanni: at once.

Sird: Everything is according to plan.

The Empress laughed evilly! Swamp planet.

Emerald: I got bad news to tell you.

Silver: That Darth Giovanni is my father?

Emerald: Well, not that. I am dying. (He's going to kill the director) For 900 years I reach, so does you. But not that way.

Silver: I came back for finish for the training.

Emerald: No more training do you required. I already know you.

Silver: Then I am a Jedi.

Emerald: No, what you failed was your training. If you defeat Vader, then you can become a true Jedi. Also there is a…another……walker…

Yoda dies which Luke goes back to the ship.

Silver: I can't do this alone.

Blue Oak: Yoda will always be with you.

Silver: Blue? Why did you tell that Giovanni betray murdered my father?

Blue Oak: Your father was seduced by the Dark Side. What I told you was true in a certain point of view.

Silver: A certain point of view?

Blue Oak: Your father, Red was a good man until the day that he become Giovanni. He's more machine than man. Twisted and evil.

Silver: but I felt something good in him. I can't kill him!

Blue Oak: You cannot escape your destiny.

Silver: I can't do it!

Blue Oak: Then the Emperor has already won.

Silver: He spoken of a another one.

Blue Oak: He was referring to your sister.

Silver: I don't have one.

Blue Oak: She's well protected and close to you.

Silver: Leia is my sister?

Blue Oak: Your feelings can protect your friends, but they can serve the Emperor well if it betray you.

At the Rebel Fleet

Republic Empire: YEAH! I am playing Admiral Ackbar!

Gold: Look at you! A general?

Platinum: Thank you, I learn about military tactics before.

They gather around as Mon Mothma appeared.

Yellow: We gather data that the Emperor is overlooking the construction of a Second Death Star. It can spell doom for us. Many Bothans died to gather this information. Admiral you may.

Republic Empire: You can see here. The Death Star here is not yet operational, but it's protecting by a energy shield. We sent a strike team to destroy the shield bunker. After they destroy the bunker, our fighters can enter the Death Star while our capital ships create a barrier. Also I have here is General Crix Madine.

Clair: We stole a Imperial shuttle. We sent a strike team to deactivate the shield. General Solo, is your team ready?

Gold: I got my core team, I need a command team.

Sapphire: You got me.

Gold: This is not going to be easy.

Crystal: I'm going with you.

Silver: So, am I!

Luke appeared

Gold: I need one more person. Any Volueeters.

Everyone whistles until….

Ruby: What I miss?

They all turn to him.

Ruby: What? OH, no!

At the Hanger

Gold: Landa, are you sure that you're taking care of my ship? She's the fasting ship in the Fleet.

Platinum: Don't worry about it. I can handle. She won't get a scratch. Will you go already?

Gold: Ok.

They go off in the Shuttle.

Sapphire: I hope you remember, RUBY!


They go to Hypersapce.


At the Death Star

Giovanni: What is my bidding, my Empress?

Sird: send the fleet to the far side of Endor. Then, they will stay until called.

Giovanni: What about the Rebel fleet near Sullest?

Sird: No concern. Soon, the rebel alliance will be crushed and Skywalker with us. Stay at the command ship and wait for my orders.

Giovanni: Yes, mam.

As Giovanni left. At space.

Gold: Ok, we got this. All we to do is get a clearance.

Crystal: I hope you don't mess this up!

Gold: I got this.

At the Super Star Destroyer

Giovanni: Where is that shuttle is going?

Ariana: Shuttle Missingno, what's your destination?

Gold: Um, techincans and forest documentaries for Animal Planet.

Giovanni: um, do they have a code?

Ariana: It's a older code, but it works. Should I hold them?

At the Shuttle

Silver: I sense Giovanni is that ship.

Gold: Don't be that naïve. There are a lot of command ships.

Silver: I'm endangering the mission, I shouldn't come here.

Gold: Don't worry about it! We get through this.

Sapphire: What I do?

Gold: I don't know fly causal.

Ruby: In a hands of a brute.

Sapphire: WHY YOU!

She chokes Ruby.

Crystal: Ok, stop! Focus the mission on hand!


Ruby: I..don.'t….know…what…you're…talking about!

At the Super Star Destroyer

Ariana: Should I?

Giovanni: no, let them. I will deal them later.

Ariana: ok.


Imperial Officer: You are all clear to go.

As Sapphire hits Ruby by hitting his face. By his punch fist

Sapphire: Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. It will stop if you REMEMBER!

Gold: Hey! We got in.

Crystal: You can stop now!

The shuttle enters while the hitting continues. They come out of the shuttle with Han's Special Forces unit. They spot Scout troopers.

Gold: We can around it.

Silver: That will take time.

Gold: ok. Me, wild Girl, and prissy boy can take of this.

Silver: Quietly, they can be more out there!

Gold: Hey, it's me!

They go to the Scout Troopers. Han goes to one of the Scout troopers. But the branch snaps which nothing appeared. Then, he continues until he broke a glass which nothing happen. Then broke more stuff which the Scout Trooper is like deaf or nothing.

Gold: Huh?

Ruby: That uniform is so nasty!

Scout Trooper: Who said that!

The Scout Trooper turns around as he bitch slaps Han.

Scout Trooper: Get help!

On the hill

Silver: Great! Come on!

Another Scout Trooper gets on until Chewy destroyed it.

Crystal: Look! Two more!

Silver: Leia!

They get on the bikes.

Gold: Wait for me!

But Han continues to duke it with the scout trooper. They began a chase which Luke and Leia gotten one of the bikes which they got chased by two more. Luke hangs back to get the two scout troopers while Leia chases the forward one. Leia manages to destroy it, but loses her bike while Luke destroyed one, but lost his bike as well.

Silver: Got no choice.

He drew out his lightsaber

Scout Trooper: A Jedi?!

He destroyed the bike as the Scout as well. He goes back to the main group.

Pearl: Someone is coming.

They get ready, but Luke appeared.

Gold: You scared us.

Silver: Where' Leia?

Gold: I thought she was with you.

Silver: No, we got separated.

Gold: Alright, we go find. And the rest of you, meet us at the Shield bunker.

Meanwhile, something is walking towards Leia.

(All Dexholders will have their Pokémon in their first stage)

Megaree: Chika?

It points Leia. At first, it was afraid which he pokes her again.

Crystal: Hey!

It gets in a defense position.

Crystal: What happen? Hey, there. Can you help me?

The creature comes close.

Crystal: Looks like I am struck me. Come here.

But it gets aggressive.

Crystal: I won't hurt you. Come here.

Megaree: CHIKA!

Crystal: I know what, you want something to eat. Here

Megaree: Chika?

It grabs the food from her. But suddenly, he hears something.

Crystal: What it is?

Silence until laser fire nearly hit. The creature hides away. Leia look out where it came from. Until

Scout Trooper: YOU! Come on, get up!

She got caught by the Scout trooper.

Scout Trooper: Take your ride, head back to base.

Scout Trooper 2: Yes, sir.

Megaree hits the scout trooper in the leg.

Scout Trooper: What the?

Leia hits the Scout Trooper with a log and she takes down the bike with her blaster.

Crystal: Come on, let's get out of here.

She walks her way until she was stopped by Megaree.

Megaree: Chika! Chika chika chika.

Crystal: Ok.

continue to part 2

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