Theatre of parodies

Your beloved Dexholders are acting out in a series of parodies of movies and even parody of the parody in one-shot styles chapters. Cussing and violence warning. Please do review upon reading. There will be laughter, Romance, drama, and randomness.


11. Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back

Long time ago, when they lasers…Why they have lasers in the first place? Wait, we already invent today. My bad…..


Episode V

The Empire Strikes Back

The Rebel alliance has destroyed the Death Star, but faces the onslaught of the Imperial Armed Forces. They are outnumbered, outgun, and by number times over ration against them. The rebels are found a hiding place…

Have you play Rogue Squadron on N64, it tells why they are on the run in the first place? Wait, Rebel Strike in the first mission explains why it happens. I love Rouge Sqaudron games and I hopefully Rogue Leader and Rebel Strike can be on Wii U virtual console. That will be awesome.

Also the Director is very busy with his work and other stuff like collecting legos for his lego films. Don't judge him; he's quite sensitive to that subject. The budget on this theatre of Parodies is time which lots of it.

Also the Director is planning to have a writing contest to pick one of those stories on parodies that anyone choses the movie to poke fun and the director will select one of them to this Theatre of Parodies. His email happens to legohalo_9 to send your story in.

Who is this? Oh, crap the Director is here. Um, the story is that Darth Giovanni is obsessed of finding Luke Skywalker has dispatched Probe droids to find him.

After the intro ends, the Star Destroyer is somewhere has send out probe droids across the galaxy as one of them hit a snow planet known as Hoth. The probe droid landed and goes out.

A lone figure comes out with Tantaruan, It's Luke Skywalker. He sees something.

Silver: Han, can you hear me? Han? Do you read?

Gold (radio): Loud and Clear! A deaf man can hear you.

Silver: I got nothing in here.

Gold: There are barely any life forms in this planet. I'm going back to base.

Silver: Ok, there's a meteorite hit the ground. I'm going to check it.

But a Wampa attacks Luke and drags Luke to his lair.

Han goes back to base and heads to his ship.

Gold: Hey, when this ship is working?

Chewy pops out.

Sapphire: Oh, about 30 minutes if you….QUIT ASKING ME!

Gold: Ok, Don't worry. I come to help you ok.

Han leaves.

Sapphire: Sigh, I miss Ruby.

She continue working on the ship

Han enters the command room as he approaches the Rebel General.

Falkener: Han, what you got?

Gold: Not much, just more *&^(ing snow and Luke is checking a meteorite.

Falkener: Hiding from the Empire is never easy.

Gold: Yeah, but I need to go. I need repay Jabba or she will hang me!

Falkener: Sigh, ok. You can take a leave. You're a good pilot, hate to lose you.

Han goes to Leia.

Gold: So, this is it?

Crystal: Right…..

Gold: Don't get mushy on me.

He leaves and Leia follow Han.

Crystal: Han, we need you!

Gold: We? What about you?

Crystal: Oh, please. You belong here.

Gold: Why?

Crystal: you're….a natural leader.

Gold: Come on! Then why you following me?

Crystal: I…I….

Gold: You're worry that I won't give you a good bye kiss?

Crystal: I rather do it with a Wookie.

Gold: That's good! She will use a good kiss!

The crew looks at Republic Empire.

Republic Empire: Wait? I mean no Yuri and Yaoi crap, but only for comedic effect.

Back to the story

Pearl: Damn, it's cold.

Dia: Well, it's not like home we know.

3CPO hits R2.

Pearl: We got to stick to character.

They meet Han working on his ship.

Pearl: Excuse me, have you seen Master Luke?

Gold: Strange I thought he will be here. I am going to check it.

He heads over the Tantutans (I can't spell it right!).

Gold: Has Luke come back?

Rebel Officer: no, sir.

Gold: I got no choice then.

Rebel Officer: Sir! Your Tantuatn will freeze to death!

Gold: Then I see you in Hell!

At the Wampa's lair, Luke sees his light saber which he uses to free himself and cut the Wampa's arm off. Luke wanders off in the freezing cold weather. Until something appear to him….

Professor Oak: Luke, you will go to the Dagobah system. You will find Master Yoda. The Jedi master who instructed me.

Silver: Ben!

Until Han appeared as Luke passed.

Gold: hey, Buddy! Speak to me!

He sees his only transport has frozen to death.

Gold: OK. Um….

He grabs his lightsaber and cuts open the belly to spill out its organs.

Gold: This will warm you! Man, I thought they smell bad from the outside. I mean literally they smell like shit.

The next day, the rebel snowspeeder found them and Luke made a recovery.

Pearl: I'm glad you are ok.

Dia: Me too.

Sapphire: You got the strength to beat up a lizard man.

Gold: have you feeling? I saved your frozen ass out there.

Silver: Thanks. I owe you one.

Gold: Well, thanks to someone I know.

Crystal: I have nothing to with it.

Gold: As you can see, she does care about me.

Crystal: Why! You brainless snuff-looking herder!

Gold: Who's snuff-looking? Man, she is on her period, right?

This scene is deleted for various reasons. They found out something is out there which Han and Chewy scout out.

Probe Droid: (gibbish)

Sapphire: Is that….

Gold: Yeah. GO!


The probe droid fired at Chewy and Hand shot at the thing which blows up by itself.

Gold: Oh, man. The Empire found us.

Cue the Imperial March as Star Destroyers are there until a super Star Destroyer overshadows them. It is the Death Squadron led by no other than Darth Giovanni which he whacks a mailbox with a baseball bat. He walks down in his bridge of his Super Star Destroyer.

Imperial Officer: Oh, crap! Here he comes. Empire stuff. Ooo, Empire stuff…

As he walks by and at the lower floor Ozzel (Petrel) walks by.

Ariana: Admiral!

Petrel: What is it?

Ariana: We got a transmission from one of our probe droids.

Petrel: We got thousands of those things across the galaxy. I want proof, not leads.

Ariana: Yeah, I think this is the best proof we got to….

Giovanni: Did you found something?

They show him the transmission.

Giovanni: That's it. The rebels are there!

Petrel: My lord, there are uncharted settlements. It could be smugglers or….

Giovanni: No, Admiral. Skywalker is there. General Veers.

Veers (proton shows up)

Proton: Yes, my lord?

Giovanni: Prepare your ground forces.

Proton: Yes, my lord.

Back on the Rebel base, they plan to escape when they arrive.

Rebel officer: Sir, there is a fleet of star destroyers coming to the planet.

Falkner: Set up the shield. Prepare for Ground Assault.

On Han's ship

Gold: Ok, turn it on!

Sapphire: OK.

The fire appeared.

Gold: AH! Turn it off. Turn it off!

Sapphire: I'm trying!

On space…..

Giovanni: What is it?

Proton: My lord, we move out of lightspeed. But we found that the rebels has set a energy shield will defect any bombard we sent.

Giovanni: We must alert their presences. This last time he had done this.

Proton: He felt wiser to….

Giovanni: he's a complete moron. Prepare for your surface attack.

Proton: Yes, sir.

He goes around with his chair to see Ozzel on the screen.

Petrel: Ah, my lord. The fleet has move out of lightspeed and prepare to….ack!

Giovanni: You failed me for the last time, Admiral. Captain Piett.

Ariana: Yes, my lord?

Giovanni: Get our ground forces beyond the energy field and deploy the fleet to prevent their escape. You are command now, Admiral Piet.

Ariana: (scared) Thank you, my lord.

A moment later, Luke appear.

Silver: Hey, Chewy. Take care of yourself.

Sapphire: You too!

They hug.

Gold: Hey, buddy! Be careful.

Silver: you too.

They prepare to face the Imperial Army.

Rebel Soldier: I didn't sign up for this!

Rebel Soldier 2: Then why you sign up for?

Rebel Soldier: Hot chicks.

Rebel Soldier 2: long shot.

Rebel Soldier: I ain't dying in this snow planet. We're doom.

Rebel Soldier 2: Nah, unless they bought something we can't hit real good.

In the distance shows AT-ATs and AT-STs with snowtroopers.

Rebel Soldier: What about that?

Rebel Soldier 2: Yeah…yikes.

At the command base

Falkner: Their target will be the primary shield generator. Open shield.

The Rebel transport with two fighter escorts came out. While a star destroyer is nearby

Imperial Officer: Sir, rebel ships coming.

Imperial Officer 2: Good, our first catch of the day.

Imperial Officer: Yeah, right.

Little they know that Ion cannons is giving them cover fire at all Star Destroyers are near the transports.

At the rebel base, the rebel forces prepare for the big battle. Luke leads Rogue Squadron to battle.

Silver: This is Rogue leader, we are on our way.

They attack the Imperial Armor force known as Blizzard Force lead by Veers himself. The big battle has begun. The snowspeeders tried their best to hit them with lasers, but that armor is too thick to be damage.

Silver: That armor is too strong for blaster. Use your hapoons to get their legs. It's the best way to stop them.

On the base…

Falkner: I don't we think we sent two transports at a time.

Crystal: It's risky, we got no choice.

On the hanger…

Sapphire: Where I put this?

Gold: NO! That one goes there and that one goes there, right?

Sapphire: Oh!

Pearl: Dia, are you going to be ok?

Dia: I hope I won't get shot again.

Pearl: I hope so.

The forward AT-AT is almost the shield generator which destroys everything in its path until one of them was taken by harpoon cable. Despite taking one down, they face more AT-ATs….

Proton: Debark more troops for ground assault. Prepare to target their generators.

In the mist of fight, more speeders are going down.

Silver: Hobbie! I had been hit!

Luke's speeder crashed down and manages to escape before AT-AT's foot can get him. At the Command…

Gold: You still here?

Crystal: You got clearance to leave.

Gold: Don't worry I leave until you get to your ship.

Crystal: What about…..


Intercom: Imperial 501st are here. Imperial 501st are…..(static)

Gold: Come on!

Crystal: Give them the retreat code. Get them to their ships.

Pearl: Hey! Wait for me!

At the battlefield

Rebels: Retreat! Fall back!

Luke goes up to the AT-ATs and took out a thermal detonator which he threw to destroy the walker. But there is one walker is coming at the rebel forces.

Proton: yes, my lord. I am closing on the Generators, you may start your landing. The Generators?

AT-AT pilot: at 250 meters, sir.

Proton: Good. Target Maximum firepower.

They destroy the main shield generators.

Proton: Excellent!

At the base, the snow collapse near Han and Leia.

Gold: Command, our path is blocked. I can get her out with the Falcon. Come on!

He grabs Leia to the Falcon while Darth Giovanni is with his 501st legion (again Lance Clones). Han, Leia, and 3CPO reach the falcon with Chewy waiting. Han turns one which stops and he hit it to turn it on.

Crystal: This bucket of bolts will not pass this blockade!

Gold: This baby has few surprises in here.


Snowtrooper: Get that gun ready

But the Falcon has a minigun firing at the snowtroopers who suffer massive losses.

Gold: Hit it!

They fly off. Luke look over to the Falcon's flight. Luke flies off to space into the unknown.

Dia: Are we going to the place where we supposed to go?

Silver: No, I am heading to a different planet. It's a vision I saw.

Dia: I hope you're right.

The Falcon has a problem as it tries to escape from the Imperial Fleet.

Sapphire: um…

Gold: I know. I saw them!

Crystal: Saw what?

Gold: Two star Destroyers coming at us. I can outmatch in this contest of speed.

He out speed them except for TIE fighters has made two star destroyers nearly crash each other.

Gold: Prepare to jump into hyperspace. NOW!

Nothing has happen


Crystal: Well?

Gold: uh, oh.

Pearl: About that, the hyperdrive is badly broken.

Gold: We are in deep shit over here.

Both Chewy and Han goes to repair it.

Gold: Give me the tool box!

She gives the tool box to Han.

Gold: How we get out of this one?

Something hit them as the tool box hit him in the head.

Gold: OW! Chewy!

Sapphire: That wasn't me.

Gold: Then who?


Gold: That was no laser fire?

Crystal: Come here.

Han and Chewy comes to see….

Crystal: Asteroids.

Gold: I going in.

Crystal: Are you insane?

Gold: Look, we got like 4 of 6 main characters on this ship. We can do fine.

Pearl: Ah, Look at one! Ah, look at one there!

They flee away from the TIE fighters which they killed off by asteroids.

Crystal: We are going to get killed if we stay here much longer.

Gold: Not unless there is something….Ah, there it is.

They enter the hole in the big asteroid which the sign they miss says, "DO NOT ENTER!"

Crystal: I hope what you are doing?

Gold: Relax, Super Serious Gal. I know I am doing.

At the swamp planet, Luke landed with a problem which R2 was throw out of the creature that ate him.

Silver: Lucky, you don't taste very good.

Dia: Sigh, thank the script.

Silver: What are we doing? Must be a dream or I must going crazy.

At the Imperial Fleet….

Giovanni: What it is?

Ariana: sir, the falcon has fled to asteroid field and we….

Giovanni: Asteroids don't concern me. I want that ship, not excuses.

Ariana: Yes, my lord.

At the Asteroid hole…

Gold: I have to turn off everything off except for the emergency power.

Pearl: Does include me?

Gold: NO, I want you to help me to speak with the Falcon.

Something is not right when something is moving.

Pearl: It just me or the asteroid is not stable.

Gold: Well, thank you captain Obvious. Wild Girl get the professor and plug him up!

Chewy takes 3CPO to the main computer until something shakes to have Leia to be with Han.

Crystal: Get off me!

Gold: Hey, don't get excite it.

Crystal: Please!

Gold: Of course, your highness.

At the Swamp planet

Silver: Now, I got to find this Yoda. Or he does exit.

Emerald: He does exist.

Silver: Who are you?

Emerald: If you put your gun down.

Luke lowers the gun.

Emerald: I'm Yoda.

Silver: Um, I was expecting someone taller.

Emerald: Don't even think about it.

Silver: What you going to do?

Yoda shows his powers.

Silver: OK, you're the real thing.

ON the Falcon, C-3PO (now corrected) is talking with the machine.

Pearl: Man, what a bitch. Han, I got bad news and good news.

Gold: Hit me with the good news.

Pearl: Well, the machine is fine. The bad news is that you need some new cables.

Gold: Of course, I have to replace it. Here!

Chewy grabs the some cables.

Gold: Oh, we going to need some new cables.

Han goes to a separate room which Leia, he tries to help her which she shove him back.

Crystal: Will you stop that!

Gold: Geez, I'm trying to help. Super Serious Gal.

Crystal: Will you please, stop calling me that!

Gold: Sure, Crys..

Republic Empire: What?

Crystal: Gold, you can be so difficult sometimes.

Republic Empire: That's not part of the script!

Gold: Yeah, you could be a little bit nicer.

Crystal: Occasionally, if you didn't act like a reckless jerk.

Gold: A jerk? A reckless jerk? I like the sound of that.

Crystal: stop that.

Gold: Stop what?

Crystal: My hands are dirty.

Gold: So, does mine. What you afraid, Crys?

Republic Empire: Are they speaking each other without their character's names?

Crystal: Afraid?

Gold: You're trembling.

Crystal: I'm not.

Gold: Wanna bet? You like me because I'm a reckless jerk? A Jerk with a heart of Gold?

Crystal: I happen to like serious guys.

Gold: I'm a serious guy too.

Crystal: you're a….

They make out like crazy as the entire film crew and Republic Empire were like….

Republic Empire: O_O, what the hell?

They continue to watch as they both moan as the kiss is deep until…

Pearl: Han, I was wrong about the new cables.

They broke out of their makeout session.

Gold: Thank you! Thank you very much! Captain Obvious!

Pearl: Oh, you're welcome.

As 3-CPO left the room, but Leia left the room too soon.

Gold: What just happen?

Crystal runs off to the cockpit and locks it.

Crystal: Did I and Gold do that? (blushes)

Republic Empire: Oh, boy. The mangaquestshippers are going to love this. But that was out of the blue? Was it part of the script? Back to the story!

Back to the Imperial Fleet in the asteroid being destroying them.

Imperial Captain: My lord, we are suffering heavy losses. We already lost them.

Giovanni: They are alive! Get every ship to sweep up the asteroid field.

After the hologram ends

Ariana: My lord, message from the Empress herself.

Giovanni: Get us out of the asteroid field for a clear message.

After they get out, Darth Giovanni goes to his room

Giovanni: What is my bidding, my master?

Sird: My bidding? How about stop ramming you ships to *&^(ing asteroids fields? Can you do that?

Giovanni: I'm trying!

Sird: NO, there is do or *&^( up royal. You're &*^% up royal. I am hiring bounty hunters to do the job to be done.

Giovanni: But…

Sird: NO buts! The phone is ringing. I need you to put up a reward for substantial reward to find the ship. Ok, bye! Where was I?

Giovanni: I was wondering the same thing.

Sird: OH, there is a disturbance in the force.

Giovanni: I felt it too, my master.

Sird: The Son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi knight.

Giovanni: not unless turn him to the dark side.

Sird: What a brilliant idea. What if he doesn't join?

Giovanni: He will join us or die, my master.

Swamp planet, At the Swamp planet that Yoda is training Luke Skywalker.

Emerald: Yes, feel the force. It flows though you. Beware of the Dark side. It will consume you like Blue Oak's apprentice.

Silver: Giovanni. Is the dark side stronger?

Emerald: NO! It's easier to attach.

Silver: How I know the good from the bad?

Emerald: You will know!

Luke puts down Yoda until he felt something

Silver: I feel cold and death….

Emerald: That tree. Fill of the darkside it is. Bring only what you need.

Luke is about to equip himself.

Emerald: Your weapons, you may not need them.

Luke equips anyways and enters the tree before….

Emerald: Shutter did I? Oh, well. Luke will do.

At the Tree, Luke goes around to see a figure that looks like…..Darth Giovanni. They fight each other until he chop off his head. Outside, Yoda hears the scream.

Emerald: Oh, shit!

Yoda comes to Tree.

Silver: Huh?

Emerald: Dude! Why did you do that!

Silver: I thought Darth Giovanni is here. And now he's me now?

Emerald: Yea, not to kill him and reveal himself will blow your mind away!

Silver: What's the whole point of it?

Emerald: TO make you think!

On the asteroid field as Imperial forces are destroying the asteroids, but at the Falcon Leia heard something only to startled by a Moyock. She runs down to see Han reading Pokemon Adventures Volume 43.

Crystal: Han!

Gold: What?

Crystal: There's something out there.

Gold: Huh?

They hear something.

Pearl: Listen!

Gold: I'm coming to check it out!

Crystal: I'm coming too!

Sapphire: Wait for me!

Pearl: I..just stay here.

They went outside with their mask on.

Crystal: That's weird? The ground in here is soft.

Gold: You're right as if…

They hear something.

Gold: look out!

He shoots it.

Gold: Great, moyocks. Wild Girl, check the ship because they chewing the power cables.

Sapphire: Got it.

Crystal: Moyocks?

They were surpised by the things which Han accidently miss which something shook the ground.

Gold: Wait a sec.

He shoots the ground.

Gold: Something is not right.

He shoots it again.

Gold: Something is fishy going on?

He shoots it again.

Gold: What hell is this?

He shoots it again.

Crystal: Will you stop shooting?

Gold: Time to go!

They go back to the ship.

Gold: We're getting out of here.

Crystal: They still out there!

Gold: Ain't time to discuss in your Serious Representative Club.

Crystal: I'm not a Serious Representative Club!

They power up the falcon.

Gold: Hit it!

They blast off to see something.

Crystal: The cave is collapsing.

Gold: this isn't a cave!

Pearl, Crystal, And Sapphire: What?

They come out of a spaceworm which he miss it.

Spaceworm: Ah! Damnit!

Spaceworm 2: What it is?

Spaceworm: I never get a spaceship, never!

Spaceworm 2: That's sounds terrible. Wanna get some Cinnabar food?

Spaceworm: I guess.

Spaceworm 2: Hold On! Hello, is this Cinnabar's restaurant? Um, I like to have 5000 pounds of cinnabar hamburgers and 4000 pounds of brown rice. What you want?

Spaceworm: I like to have some mac and cheese.

Spaceworm 2: I would like to have 6000 mac and cheese. What? Cash or check? So, we eat when he gets here?

Spaceworm: Yeah.

Spaceworm 2: Cash, please.

On the swamp planet

Emerald: yes, feel the force though you.

He does it well until the ship sink.

Emearld: Concerat…..!

Silver: Ah, great! How am get out of here?

Emerald: Use the force to get out of there.

Silver: Moving rocks is one thing, but this is lot harder than I thought.

Emerald: If that's want, but the choice is you.

Silver: I will give a try.

Emerald: Don't. Do or do not. There's no such thing as try.

Luke attempts to do, but ends in failure.

Silver: It's too big!

Emerald: It's not big! It's all in your mind. Size doesn't matter when comes with the force. The Force is around us.

Silver: you are the impossible, shorty!

Luke walks away until Yoda who snapped to lift the ship up and amazed Luke.

Silver: I don't believe it! How did you do it?

Emerald: That's why you failed, you jackass!

On the Imperial fleet

Imperial officer: Bounty hunters? We don't need their scum.

Imperial Officer: My brother is a bounty hunter.

An array of bounty hunters from Gerard Butler, Dog the bounty hunter, Boba Fett (Lance), Lizard guy, robot guy, deep underwater guy, and other bounty hunters I don't know. I forgot to mention Robot chicken Dengar.

Darth Giovanni: there will substantial reward for whoever finds the Millennium Falcon,. You may use force necessary, but I want them alive. No destroying.

Lance: As you wish.

Dengar: Ah, shucks. Ok, who's going get there first?

The bounty hunters rush off.

Imperial Officer: My lord, we found them!

At the Falcon is being chased

Pearl: We out of the asteroid field.

Gold: Are we ready?

Sapphire: Ready!

Gold: Hit it!

Nothing much.


Crystal: Well? No, lightspeed?

Gold: That's not good! You know what, I am sick of running!

He turns the ship to the star Destroyer.

Crystal: You're going to attack them?

Gold: Yeah, so!

Pearl: your chances are 8000 out of 1.

Gold: Well, I…..what are those in my favor?

At the Imperial Star Destroyer

Imperial Captain: Wait, are they going to attack us? Shields up!

They pass them.

Imperial Captain: They may come around.

Imperial Tech: Sir, we cannot find them in our scopes.

Imperial Captain: That's impossible!

Imperial Tech: Sir, Lord Giovanni wants to know of our chase.

Imperial Captain: Get my shuttle ready to tell him the news.

Later on the Imperial Captain is dead.

Darth Giovanni: Apology accept it.

Ariana: My lord, they could in the another side of the galaxy.

Darth Giovanni: Send every ship to possible route they could go to.

Ariana: Yes, my lord.

Darth Giovanni: Don't fail me again. Admiral.

Ariana: Send all messages to other ships.

Meanwhile the falcon is on the back of Imperial star destroyer unnoticed.

Pearl: That is too close.

Gold: Wait, they breaking out!

Sapphire: What we do?

Gold: Well, we got to a planet nearby to fix the ship. OK, let's see here. Landa!

Crystal: Landa system?

Gold: No, she's a person.

Crystal: Who?

Sapphire: Long story.

Gold: When they start their garage shoot, we can get out.

They get out the garage shoot when the Imperial Star Destroyer left. They begin to move until….

Dengar: So, pulling off old Dengar did you? Mocking me for going to famous toilet bounty hunter school. Wrap myself in toilet paper and chosen toilet ship. Old Dengar is getting his last laugh for sure.

Suddenly destroy and kills Dengar. The Slave One ship passed by.

Lance: Dumbass.

He follows him into Bespin. Swamp planet

Emerald: Oh, I forgot to mention you can see the past and the future.

Silver: huh? Han? Leia!

He mess up.

Emerald: Dude! You must learn to control.

Silver: I saw something. A city in the clouds. They were in pain. I have to go.

Emerald: Wait, what?

Bespin, the falcon is flying around which cloud cars are around them.

Gold: I don't have a permit. I need to speak with Landa Cassissen.

They shoot the ship.

Gold: Wait! I can explain!

Bespin Cop: You don't have clearance to land.

Crystal: What's the story?

Gold: Well, it's kinda complicated. She and I go a long way.

Crystal: I hope…

Gold: Relax, she is much younger than I am. I'm not that low. But I knew her when she got the ship before.

Crystal: So, this ship is hers?

Gold: Well, it all started…..

Bespin cop: You can land. Land in Dock 2010.

Gold: See, I told you.

Pearl: I got a bad feeling about this.

They land down to see someone walking with escort. They walk out of the ship too.

Gold: I will handle this.

Platinum: You no good smuggler! You sir have a lot of nerve to come here.

When she comes close to Han, but surpise as she hugs.

Platinum: Uncle Han! How good to see you!

Pearl: She seems friendly.

Crystal: Yeah, too friendly.

Platinum: What you need, Han?

Gold: Oh, repairs.

Platinum: What you done to my poor ship?

Gold: Your ship? Hey, I won fair and square.

Platinum: I know. Hey, Chewbecca. Still hanging around?

Sapphire: Yep.

Platinum: Han, who is this?

Gold: So, her.

Crystal: My name is Leia.

Platinum: Nice to meet with you.

She bows.

Pearl: And I am C-3PO.

Platinum: Greetings.

They go off to Cloud city until C-3PO wanders off. Swamp Planet.

Emerald: You can't go! You haven't finish your training.

Silver: Han and Leia will die if I don't

Blue Oak (ghost): You don't know that. Not even Yoda can stop what's going on.

Emerald: Yes, only a true trained jedi knight can face Giovanni with power of the force in his side. But you go without training, you will consume by Dark side of the force like Giovanni.

Blue Oak: If you go alone and face him, I cannot intervene.

Silver: I understand. I will return! I promise.

Blue Oak: Wait! Don't give yourself to hate. Hate will you lead you to the dark side.

Silver: R2, let's go!

Dia: Ok.

Silver: I will return, I promise.

The X-wing flies off.

Emerald: Reckless like his father.

Blue Oak: That boy is our last hope.

Emerald: no, there is another one.

On Cloud City

Crystal: Where is that damn robot?

Gold: Relax, Crys,

Republic Empire: What?

Crystal: He's out for too long.

Gold: Don't worry, I send Wild Girl to get him.

Sapphire: I got him.

Gold: Where you found him?

Sapphire: At a junkyard.

Gold: Why?

Sapphire: I don't know.

Crystal: Can you fix?

Sapphire: I can try.

Gold: Maybe Landa can help.

Crystal: no thanks.

Platinum: Uncle! Care to join me for lunch?

Gold: Man, I am hungry.

Platinum: Problems with your droid?

Gold: Nah, Sapphire will fix him after we eat.

They go to their lunch room.

Platinum: I have to tell you something.

Gold: What?

Platinum: I have made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever.

She sadly opens the door to reveal….Darth Giovanni. Chewy roars as Han fires at Darth Giovanni, but Giovanni uses the forces to grab the gun.

Giovanni: It will be a honor to join us.

Boba Fett appeared.

Gold: Ah, Lance is Boba Fett.

Suddenly Stormtroopers appeared to them. They sit down for dinner. It is a arkward lunch with Giovanni.

Gold: Can I more water?

Giovanni: What?

Gold: I ask for more water.

They give water which Boba Fett is making rude gestures towards Han, but Han respond back with a middle finger. Boba Fett strikes back with middle finger by clanking. After Lunch, they throw Chewy into her cell. They put the song is from Justin Bieber.


They shut the music off.

Sapphire: Thank you. What I do?

She sees C-3PO.

Sapphire: Maybe I can.

She attempts to fix him until he was restore.

Pearl: Stormtroopers? I have to warn them. Oh, no! I been shot!

At the torture room

Gold: Lasers? Needles? Do you worse I can take any pain you can bring!

Giovanni: Who said about psychical Pain?

Speakers appear and the video appears to be Pokemon Anime from Hoenn to Sinnoh region seasons with Ash and the characters.

Gold: NO! NO! No! NO! NO! NO!

Outside, as Landa and Boba Fett waits.

Gold (inside): NOOOOOOOO!

Giovanni came out.

Giovanni: You may get Captain Solo when we finish with him as we get Skywalker.

Lance: He's no to me dead.

Giovanni: He will not be permanently damaged.

Platinum: Lord Giovanni, what about the princess and the wookie?

Giovanni: They must never leave this city under your supervision.

Platinum: That wasn't part of the deal!

Giovanni: you think being unfair?

Platinum: no

Giovanni: Good, you don't mind we sent a garrison along.

Platinum: This deal is getting worse all the time.

On the cell

Pearl: I hope can you fix my head when you're done with my dead…..

She turns him off.

Sapphire: That will keep your mouth shut.

They bring out Han to the cell room.

Sapphire: Speak to me!

Gold: I see Hell itself. And I feel terrible!

She lays him down. As they bring Leia to the cell. She comes to Han.

Crystal: Why they doing to us, Gold?

Republic Empire: Ok…..

Gold: I don't know, Crys.

Republic Empire: Did I miss something?

Suddenly, Landa appears.

Sapphire: YOU!

Gold: Get out of you….

Platinum: Shut up and listen. Giovanni has planned to give Han to the Bounty hunter. The princess and the wookie will stay here under my supervision.

Crystal: Giovanni wants all dead!

Platinum: He doesn't want you at all. He's after Skywalker or someone.

Gold: Luke!

Crystal: We're the bait!

Gold: So, much. Friend!

The guards drew out their guns before reach to Landa.

Platinum: That's all I can do.

Gold: yea, a real friend.

At the clouds, X-wing is moving to the city while at the carbon freeze they gather around.

Gold: What's going on, buddy?

Platinum: You put in carbon freeze.


Giovanni: This will prefect to deliver him to the empress herself.

Platinum: We don't use live subjects to carbon.

Giovanni: Don't worry about that, we can test it by Captain Solo.

Flashback ends.

Lance: What if he doesn't survive? He's a lot worth for me.

Giovanni: Then the Empire will pay you if he dies. Put him in.

Sapphire: AH, HELL NO! you are not putting my captain into something dangerous.

Pearl: AH, stop it!

She threw stormtroopers to their deaths and one of them made a Wilhelm scream.

Gold: Wild Girl! Stop! You need to protect the Crys. She's the most important in my life.

Republic Empire: Hold on!

Sapphire: ok.

Han and Leia look at each other. They make out crazy.

Stormtrooper: Ok, love birds. Break it up.

They put Han into the thing to lower him in.

Crystal: Gold, I love you. (note: she is not acting, she's actually saying it)

Gold: Crys, I know. I love you too. (That ain't part of the script!)

Republic Empire: Say What?

They lower him in as they freeze him and the claw got him to see Han frozen only for his trademark (remember how he says against the Mask of Ice, imagine that.). The camera shows Leia's tears.

Republic Empire: Did I miss that?

Giovanni: Is he alive?

Platinum: He is.

Giovanni: He's all yours bounty Hunter. Also, take the princess and the wookie to my ship.

Platinum: I thought you…..

Giovanni: I am altering the plan, this will be the last time. Skywalker is here.

They leave the room as Luke enter the city without problems. He sees his friends in danger, but….

Crystal: Luke, it's a trap! It's a trap!

They drag her out. Luke tries to follow, but he is somewhere else. It's the carbon chamber.

Giovanni: The force is with young skywalker. You're not a Jedi, yet.

Silver turns to see Darth Giovanni. They begin the epic lightsaber fight since Episode 3.

Somewhere, bespin cops stops the stormtroopers holding Leia, Chewy, and C-3PO.

Platinum: Take them to central tower and keep it quiet.

They take them out.

Crystal: What are you doing?

Platinum: Getting you out!

Pearl: I knew this was going to happen.

Crystal: After the trouble you done to Gold?

Then Sapphire attempts to choker….

This scene was deleting for reason and they run in the hallways.

Dia: Where is Luke? Is that?

Pearl: R2! Where have you been?

Dia: you know stuff.

Pearl: Hurry, we getting Han back from the bounty hunter.

At a platform

Lance: Take Captain Solo in the cargo hold

Bespin guy: No shit, Sherlock.

They put him in until the heroes got there too late.

Crystal: GOLD!

Pearl: I think we got bigger problems ahead.

They escape from the Stormtroopers and Landa warns everyone about the Empire. They escape to the Falcon. At the fight.

Giovanni: You learn much well, young one.

Silver: I'm full of surpises.

He knocks off Luke's lightsaber.

Giovanni: Your destiny lies with me. Blue Oak knew this.

Silver: no.

He knocks Luke to the carbon hole.

Giovanni: All too easy.

Luke jumps up.

Giovanni: Maybe you are not strong as the Empress thought. Impressive!

Sees Luke in the ceiling

Giovanni: Very Impressive.

They continue to fight.

Giovanni: Blue Oak taught you well. You control you fear well. Release your hate, then it can beat me.

Until Luke knock Giovanni off and follows him to follow more corridors and another room to fight again with Giovanni. This time, Giovanni uses the force to caught him off balance. He knock Luke off to the window only for Luke to survive that. Luke climbs up to come back to see Giovanni who ambush him. The fight has become more fierce as Luke hang on until he was pushed down.

Giovanni: you're beaten. It's useless to resist. Don't get yourself killed like Blue Oak did.

They resume to fight. Luke manges to hurt Giovanni in the Shouldar until Giovanni cut Luke's hand.

Silver: ARGH!

Giovanni: There's no escape. Don't make me destroy you. Luke, there is a great importance to you. Blue Oak failed to realize that your true power. Join me and we combine our strength to end this bloody war. TO bring order to the Galaxy.

Silver: I will never join you!

Giovanni: If you knew the power of the dark side. Blue Oak never tell you what happen to you father.

Silver: He told me enough. He told me you killed him.

Giovanni: No, I am your father.

Silver: no, no. That's not true, that's impossible.

Giovanni: Search your feelings, you know it must be true.


Giovanni: The Empress has foreseen this. It's your destiny. We can rule the galaxy as Father and Son!

Luke looks down to get out.

Giovanni: Come with me, it's the only way.

Luke drops down as he hit into the garage chutes of the Cloud city as he holding on to his dear life.

Silver: Ben, why did you tell me?

At the Falcon where the heroes are, Leia felt something.

Crystal: We have to go back.

Platinum: What?

Crystal: I know where Luke is?

Platinum: What about those fighters?

Crystal: Can you do it?

Sapphire: I can.

Platinum: What about those…..

Sapphire: We can't no man behind.

Platinum: Alright, Alright!

They get Luke out and attempt to flee from the Super Star Destroyer.

Giovanni: Luke.

Silver: Father?

Giovanni: IT's your destiny.

Luke tears.

Silver: Ben, why did you tell me?

After as stoke of miracle, the Falcon flee in hyperspace and to the Rebel fleet

Platinum: Don't worry, Luke we can save Han from that dreaded Jabba the Hutt.

Silver: Meet you at desert planet.

They fixed up Silver's hand (we accidently cut his hand by accident, but he has insurance.) As the Falcon flies off.


Author's notes: Whew! Done in two days, I got a Exam coming up in next week, the Return of the Jedi will begin tomorrow and finish by Sunday hopefully. Also if someone draw the imagines of famous Star Wars scenes with Pokémon adventures characters which I imagine for characters, I will be happy to recognized for the idea. Does anyone was that one or two of the actors of the film was not following the script? Review this and I don't it's good or bad, just tell me ok. I hope this chapter will bring great success.

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