Theatre of parodies

Your beloved Dexholders are acting out in a series of parodies of movies and even parody of the parody in one-shot styles chapters. Cussing and violence warning. Please do review upon reading. There will be laughter, Romance, drama, and randomness.


10. Star Wars Episode IV: New Hope part three

Mangaquestshippers squeals

Republic Empire: Will you please shut the ^%$& up! I am running a show here! Troopers!

Republic Empire's troopers come and get the shippers out of there.

Republic Empire: Make sure they don't come to the studios again! Now, back to the story.

Gold: Wild Girl, get in there.

Sapphire: If to stay alive, I will do it.

She enters inside.

Gold: GO!

Luke goes the chute as Han goes next.

Gold: Great! What wonderful smell you got there. Out of the way,

Silver: No, What!

He fires away which it hit all directions until it stops.

Silver: YOU brainless Idiot, I already tried it.

Gold: Well, I got this under control until you ruin it.

Crystal: it could be worse.

Gold: like how?

The walls are moving to crush out heroes.

Silver: The walls are moving!

Crystal: Don't stand there. Do something.

On the Droids, they were doing something.

Dia: Hey.

Pearl: Yeah.

Dia: You do think the Empire will fall?

Pearl: It will if you think about it.

He press the button saying "To Stop crushing heroes" which the walls stopped. They cheer about it. At the Moff room.

Giovanni: He is here.

Archer: Blue Oak? Surly he must be dead by now.

Giovanni: He's not. He's already on this station.

Archer: His kinds, the Jedi are extinct. You and the Empress are the last of their "kind".

The message beeps.

Archer: Yes?

Imperial Officer: Sir, there has a breakout in the detention level 2001.

Giovanni: Blue Oak is here.

Archer: If you're right, then he must not escape.

Giovanni: Escape is not his plan. I will face him alone.


Gold: If we avoid any stupid ideas, we get out of here.

Silver: Then we have to get moving.

Something is heard which startled Chewy.

Sapphire: What was that?

Gold: Oh, come on.

Crystal: Wait, they hear!

He shoots it anyways.

Gold: There's nothing there except for that badass couch right there.

He points out the couch.

Crystal: That ugly thing?

Gold: it's not. Just clean it up and breeze it. It's the perfect!

They do the anime sweats. Now, they attempt to get it.

Gold: You ready? One, two, three.

Both Han and Luke lift it up, but there is a problem.

Gold: Easy Easy Easy!

Silver: Ok.

Gold: Whoa Whoa! Stop Stop! No, twist it! The another way.

Silver: What you want me to do?

Gold: Twist it the another way as I am doing it.

Silver: OK, then.

Gold: No NO! Just put it down. Ok, let me think how to get this thing out?

Crystal: Will you stop taking that junk and focus the mission at hand?

Gold gets out.

Gold: Hey, I got this! Ok, we need to remove some parts so we can take it easy.

Crystal: Argh! Why you want this worthless junk?

Sapphire: I might agree with Han in this.

Back to Blue Oak when he encountered Darth Giovanni

Giovanni: Blue Oak, we meet again at last. Now, the ciricle is completed. When I left you I was a learner, now I am the master.

Professor Oak: Only in master of evil, Darth.

They begin their fight in a epic way.

Giovanni: Your powers are weak, old man!

Professor Oak: No, if you strike me down I will become more powerful than you ever imagine.

As our heroes escape to the ship until….

Silver: Ben?

Blue Oak looks at Luke and back to the Darth Giovanni. He just stood while Giovanni strike him down.

Silver: NO!

The stormtroopers turned around to shoot at Luke as he took down some of them until he gone back to the ship while Han and Chewy are carrying the couch.


They get the couch inside the ship.

Gold: I hope the old man did the job or the trip will be really short.

They left the place without no problems.

Silver: I can't believe he's gone.

Crystal: There was nothing you could do.

Gold: We not out of the woods yet.

They begin to fight the TIE fighters.

Silver: Who design those things?

Gold: Maybe someone was being cheapo!

They defeated the TIE fighters.

Gold: That taken care of them. How you like, Super Serious Gal?

Crystal: Please, they obvious let us go.

Gold: Hey, we got out of here.

Crystal: You brainless Idiot! They are tacking us. I hope this R2 will aid our cause. It's not over yet.

Gold: I expected to be rewarded. I ain't in your cause I'm in it for the money.

Crystal: If money you want, you will get it.

As Luke come in.

Crystal: You friend is quite gun for hire. All he cares about is himself.

Leia leaves

Silver: I care.

Gold: Sigh….Hey, buddy. What you think? A princess and a guy like me?

Silver: fat chance.

Gold: It was worth of try.

They go to Yavin which they meet up with the resistance. Since the Director decided to pace the story up as Death Star appeared.

Imperial Officer: The moon of Yavin will come in range in 30 minutes.

Giovanni: It will be long remembered. It was the end of Blue Oak. It will be the end of the rebellion.

Back on Yavin Moon

Silver: Hey, going somewhere? Got your reward.

Gold: Yeah, I got things to do.

Silver: Hey, why you don't join us?

Gold: Look, Luke. I don't attack battlestation which it's suicide.

Silver: Now, I get it now. I hope you get what you want.

Gold: Hey!

Silver: hm?

Gold: May the force be with you.

Silver goes away.

Sapphire: boss?

Gold: I know what I am doing.

He pauses for a moment. And Luke comes up to Leia.

Crystal: What's wrong?

Silver: It's Han, he's….

Crystal: Don't worry about it. He has made his own path.

After that, the rebel began the attack on the Death Star.

Red Leader: Red 1, standing by.

Red 2: Red 2, standing by.

Wally: Red 3, standing by

Red 4: Red 4, standing by.

Silver: Red 5, standing by.

Red Leader: Set your foils to attack position.

They attack the death star. They evade the turbo lasers.

Imperial Officer: My lord, we counted 30 rebel ships. But they so small, they evade our turbo lasers.

Giovanni: We have to get ship by ship. Get the crew to their fighters. You two, several fighters broke out from the main group, follow me.

The two TIE pilots join Giovanni to fight the fighters who being their trench until Red Leader failed to get the exhaust port. Until Luke was next to do his run on the trench.

Briggs: you're far enough to over you.

Wally: I hope we can survive this.

Silver: Wait, fighters incoming.

The TIE fighters lead by Death Giovanni.

Giovanni: Cover me.

TIE pilot: yes, sir.

They go after Briggs and Wedge. They nearly shot down wedge.

Wally: I have bail of this.

Silver: Come on, wedge. You can't do that.

Wallace: Sorry!

Wedge leaves

Giovanni: Leave him, I'm on the other one.

Briggs is shot down leaving Luke to do the job. He struggles on when Darth Giovanni is after him. He turns on the computer until…..

Professor Oak (voice): Use the force, Luke.

He pauses.

Giovanni: Strange, the force is with this one?

Back to Luke

Professor Oak: Luke, trust me.

Luke turns off the computer.

Random voice: He turned off his targeting computer. Luke, what's wrong?

Silver: Don't Worry I'm alright.

Crystal: Ok, who's the wise guy?

Rebel soldier: Not me.

They are puzzled who did it until Giovanni shoot down R2.

Dia: OW!

Silver: I lost R2.

Dia: I'm dying…..

At the Death Star….

Imperial message: The moon is at firing range.

Archer: you may fire at ready.

At the Trench…..

Giovanni: I have you now!

Until something kill one of his fighters.

Giovanni: What?

Luke turns to see Han's ship.

Gold: Yahooo!

The other fighter is surpise.

TIE pilot: Sir, look out.

But thanks to his stupid effort, he knock out the Darth's Giovanni as he drifts out into space.

Gold: Now, you're all clear kid. Now blow that thing up and go home.

Luke manages to get the proton torpedoes in the exhaust port. The remaining rebel forces which 3 out of 30 made out alive to witness the explosion of the Death Star.


Stormtrooper: I haven't gotten my paycheck! BY NEXT WEEK!

Gold: Luke buddy, Great shot. That was one in million!

At Luke's ship

Professor Oak (voice): Remember, the force will always be with you.

Silver: Thanks.

Now, Giovanni retreats back to Imperial Capital. Now our Heroes can celebrated their victory. Meanwhile at the Captial.

Sird: I threw the senate at him. The Whole Senate. True story.

Imperial Official: That is so funny!

Message beep.

Sird: Empress Sird, here.

Messager: You got a collected call from…

Giovanni: Darth Giovanni

Sird: I got to take this call. Giovanni, my favorite man. How's it going? Whoa! Whoa! Slow down. What? What you mean they blow up the Death Star? *&^%! Oh, &*^%. &*^%! Who's they? What the hell is Aluminum falcon? Ok, who's left? Are you &^%*ing kidding me? Where are you? Wait, you waste fuel and in space, waiting for a pick up? You must be smell bad like a dog poo. Oh, I'm sorry that my Dark Lord of the sith can protect a exhaust port that is 2 meters wide. It wasn't pay off yet. You don't know anything that will cost me? Oh, great. Rebuilt it! Who's going to pay it, you? You got 100 trillion credits to built that thing? Get your ass back here or I will tell everything what whiny bitch you about Padme? Hey, Hey. Come on, I didn't mean to snap. You know meddling teenagers blowing up the Death Star. Ok, get back here and…Ok. Bye!

The film ends here.

Author Notes: Man, it nearly took 4 days to it. It's hard to get some gags right. I hope you can spot them which they from their shows. You can guess where I got them from. Also I doing the Episode V the next week or longer due College work. Man, 29 pages of this. I work hard it and due of delays. Also I got most of works cancelled because of that. I got the character ideas from Pika09 which I found her work is very good, but I decided to improve and enhanced it. I give that Author credit for that. All works belong to their respective owners except Star Wars belongs to Disney. Now Leia has become a Disney Princess.

Crystal: WAIT, does make me as a….

Republic Empire: yes, you are Disney princess for now.

Crystal: -_-

Republic Empire: We will be right back for your next film.


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