Theatre of parodies

Your beloved Dexholders are acting out in a series of parodies of movies and even parody of the parody in one-shot styles chapters. Cussing and violence warning. Please do review upon reading. There will be laughter, Romance, drama, and randomness.


20. Alien and Aliens

Theatre of Parodies presents


A spaceship where the crew woke up. The group composed of Diamond, Pearl, Black, Cheren, Green, Crystal, and Bianca are wake. "Mother said we need to check on the distress signal she found." Green said as the ship goes to LV-426.


"This signal looks like a warning." Crystal said. Black looks at the xenomorph egg. "It seems to have life?" Black said until a facehugger attacks him.


They witness the creature on Black with shock. "My god." Cheren said. After much later, they see it's not there. "It's gone!" Cheren said until they found it dead.


"It's dead." Cheren pokes it. Then Black woke up. "Then there was the smothering. Can I have something to eat?" Black said as they head to the kitchen.


Then something violent shakes Black which a chestburster appeared and it ran away. Soon, it turned adult to kill Diamond and Green. Then Crystal fights Cheren only he is acting weird.


"Cheren is a damn robot!" Pearl shouted.


"You can't kill it!" Cheren head said knowing they are dead.


"We'll blow up the ship." Crystal suggested. Later on, the xenomorph killed Bianca and Pearl as Crystal escaped from the ship.


Crystal in her shirt and underwear thought she was safe until the xenomorph appeared. "Lucky star." Crystal said as she open the airlock to drive off the xenomorph into space. Now she is safe from danger.


"This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostomso. Signing off." Crystal reported as she goes to hyperspace.

Now presenting:



Ellen Ripley- Crystal

Corporal Dwayne Hicks- Gold

Carter J. Burke- Eusine

Bishop- Silver

Rebecca "Newt" Jorden- Maisy

William Hudson- Lack-Two

Lt. William Gorman- Ruby

Sergeant Al Apone- Chuck

Jenette Vasquez- Sapphire

Mark Drake-Brawly

Ferro- Whitney

Spunkmeyer- Joey


50 years after the events of Alien, the lone space shuttle arrives at a random ship that is a salvage ship. A bunch of salvagers found two survivors, a young lady and her cat. It was the end of their salvage. They take her to Earth which she woke up in a orbital station.


"Where am I?" Crystal wakes up weakly.


"You're in health ward. Don't worry you're safe. You got a visitor." Nurse said as a man who is carrying her cat in.


"Hey, how are you, stupid cat?" Crystal pets the cat. She turns to the man.


"Hi, I'm Eusine. I work for the company. Don't worry, I'm ok guy. You been have unnatural hyperspace." Eusine said. She wonders for a bit that she doesn't know the place.


"How long I was at there? I never recognized this place." Crystal wondered.


"57 years. Luckily, you been found by deep salvage team. Those odds were 1 out 1000. You were lucky kiddo. Or else you could been floating out there forever….." Eusine said as Crystal felt something in her chest.


That something is made the cat to run away hissing and Burke notices as he grabs a glass to aid her to drink something. But she pushes the glass away it breaks and shakes violently while the doctors come to help her.


"KILL ME!" Crystal yells until she sees something coming out of her chest. It was her worse fears that woken her up. The Nurse suggests to get her something to sleep, but she had enough of it. Later on, she is waiting for the Report of the incident she was in that Burke explains that her daughter died way before she came back.


At the reporting, they been at three hours that Crystal explains the reasons why she had good reason to blow it up. They still believe there was no such thing of the creature she give details which prompt her event.


"Good, I blew it out of the damn airlock" Crystal calmly said until they decided they had enough of her report until she gets really upset.


"Damnit! That's not all. All of this crap! You can kiss that goodbye!" Crystal yelled until they revoke her license and sent to therapy. While the boardmembers leave, she asks to check it until she finds out that there is a settlement which about 60 to 70 families. She got a bad feeling about this.


LVL-426, "Acheron", where a colony called Hadley's hope has population of 158 people along with livestock. Administers received a message from Earth to look at the region where they find it odd to search for something. They sent a family on a survey mission which finds the derelict ship as trouble happens.


Moments later on Earth, Crystal is at her apartment with the cat as she struggles to maintain her sanity after her encounters with the Xenomorph. A knock reveals Eusine and someone else that she closes the door.


"We lost contract with colony in LVL-426." Eusine said which she opens the door for both them in. They explain that they would like for her to be an advisor. Lt. Ruby is assigned to command a Colonial Marine platoon. At first, she says no until she had a nightmare that changes her mind.


She joins the crew of Sulaco, a Colonial marine warship where there is a platoon assigned to look into the disappearance of the colony. She meets other marines who don't take her seriously and mock her about her encounter with the Xenomorph. A certain red-head was asked to do the knife trip where he impressed the marines.


But when he gives Eusine and Look some food, but Crystal spots the white fluid out his hand which triggers her flashback to Cheren.


"You didn't say anything about an android. Why not?" Crystal wondered why he's here. Eusine explains that Silver is a different android.


"I prefer Artificial person if you please. Is there a problem?" Silver asked. Eusine explains the event when Crystal had in the past. Silver was shocked to hear and tells that he won't allow her to be hurt as he offers cornbread to her until she aggressive slap the tray into the floor.


"You get away from me. You got that straight, Silver?" Crystal warns Silver. He goes picks it up and while a certain black hair golden eye marine sees this.


"Guess, that serious gal doesn't like cornbread." Gold mumbles. After that, they had a briefing meeting what they are going up against. He tries to explain, but a female marine interrupts her.


"I want to know one thing where they are." Sapphire mimics the gun finger.


"You kick ass, Vasquez" Gold shout as they do a high five.


"Yea, when someone say Alien. She thought Illegal alien and signed up." Lack-Two said.


"Hey, fuck you. MAN" Sapphire flips the bird to Lack-Two.


"Are you finished? I hope you are right. I really do." Crystal looks at Sapphire. Ruby tries to explain to the platoon what they about to until Crystal spoke up.


"It's one of those things managed to wipe out my crew less than 24 hours. If they found the ship, there's no know why how many exposed." Crystal warns to them. Looker suggests they will take a look at it. A marine raises his hand up which Looker wants to know.


"How I get out of this chickenshit outfit?" Lack-Two asks which earned the glare of the sergeant.


"You secure that shit, Lack-Two!" Chuck said until Looker tells to be prep in time.


"You heard the man. Get those asses and elbows. Hudson, come here. COME here!" Chuck tells to Lack-two.


They are preparing for the drop in matter of time as they entered into their combat vehicle into their drop-ship. They enter lvl-426 as the APC landed and deployed the marine platoon towards the complex. It was raining as they entered the complex where nothing is alive and not even a single soul to be find.


Ruby told the marines to get into operations building while he, Crystal, and Eusine enters the complex as Gold and team of marine waited for them. While they about to enter the complex, Crystal halts for a moment that flashed back during the time where they found the ship. Gold came up to her and touches on the shoulder.


"You alright?" Gold worried as Crystal snaps back to reality and they both entered the complex. Later on, they see the containers that has the facehuggers which only 2 are alive and the rest are dead. It wasn't long until they caught something in the motion tracker which it was a little girl who was hiding in the air ducts. Crystal goes after her as to find her hiding place and her name was Maisy.


She was carrying her Teddursia doll while they tried to get answers from her getting nowhere. Crystal was about to connect to her and tries to get information from her that her parents are dead and the marines are here to protect. Maisy looks up to Crystal with a grim tone.


"That won't make any difference." Maisy sadly replied to Crystal's hope on the Marines. But the Marines was able to find the colonists only to find in the processing station. They enter the station with hopes to save the colonists, but something was not right. Crystal spoke up about the cooling towers that might cause explosion that ended the Marines to give up their ammo.


"You're fucking crazy?" Lack-two complained which forced to give up their ammo. They saw in horror to find the colonists are cocooned and their chests are exposed much to terror of the hive which it's hot and way too dry. One of the marines found one of the colonists to be alive, but however it was dead end for the Colonist as the chestburster breaks out of the poor colonist's chest as the sight is terror to the marines while Crystal sees this when she remembered her nightmares.


Chuck fired the flamehrower to the chestbruster that awaked the hive ended up killing the marines as the chaos Chuck was captured by the xenomorphs that created a rout of the remaining marines. Ruby was in shocked when Chuck was gone.


"Sarge is gone! LET's GET THE FUCK OUT of here!" Lack-Two shouted as the Marines left. A xenomorph tries to grab Lack-Two.


"There's one behind you!" Gold shouts as he kills the Xenomorph with a shotgun. Crystal takes command of the APC to crash into the wall to save the Marines.


"Marines, we are leaving!" Gold tells the remaing soldiers to get into the APC. However, during the Marine retreat that Sapphire accidently killed a xenomorph that spill acrid on Brawly that killed him. They close the door until the xenomorph gets the door to open until Gold grabs his shotgun into its mouth.


"EAT THIS!" Gold yelled as he shot the xenomorph into bits, but acid touched Lack-two's arm. They left the station despite Ruby was knocked out unconscious and Crystal run over a xenomorph which caused the APC to be damaged. They are outside of the station and sort of this out. They found Ruby in the back as Gold checks on him until Sapphire snaps at the sight of him.


"Move over! I going to kill him!" Sapphire in anger, but Gold restrains her. Lack-Two looks over the status conditions, but Sapphire suggest they must go back to get them except Crystal tells them it's impossible since they are already cocooned. After much talking, Crystal suggest to nuke the site at orbit to make sure of it.


The group agreed except for Eusine to nuke the site which Gold is in command now of the marines. He agrees with Crystal and tells Whitney to pick them up along with Bishop after she picks them up. However, Joey got in noticed a slime inside the dropship to reveal the Xenomorph inside the cockpit to kill both Joey and Whitney. That resulted the destruction of the APC and the dropship.


"That's great, man. Now what the fuck we are supposed to do? We are in pretty shit now, man!" Lack-two sees in horror that they are doomed.


"Are you done complaining?" Gold annoyed by Lack-Two newly founded despair. He lets him go.


"Game over, man. Game over. What we do now?" Lack-Two complains more until Maisy spoke up to Crystal.


"We better go back inside. They come out in night. Mostly…." Maisy said as they soon went back to the complex to set up their defenses. They got the remains of the APC along with four sentry turrets. They used the blueprints to set up their defenses and prepare for siege of 17 days much of dismay of Lack-two that they won't last 17 hours.


The first wave attacked the tunnel that gotten killed by sentry turrets, but the ammo run out as they violently knocked the pressure door. Later on, Crystal meets with Gold as he checks the laptop with the remaining turrets.


"Hey." Crystal greeted to Gold.


"Hey, serious gal." Gold checks on the laptop screen.


"Can you be kind not to call me that?" Crystal looks at the pulse rifle.


"Why not?" Gold turns around only to notice Crystal is looking at the pulse rifle.


"Oh, would like to take a look?" Gold wondered.


"Well, I prefer you to teach me."


"Why not Sapphire teach you?"


"She's busy with Silver to take care of Ruby."


"Alright." Gold said as he gives her the pulse rifle. He teaches her how to use it in case they will get attacked by the Xenomorphs. She learned very well and heads out of the hall only to find Sapphire helping Ruby along.


"Why she is carrying a pulse rifle?" Ruby wondered.


"Is that a crime to carry a pulse rifle?" Sapphire pouted.


"Well, it's….." Ruby tried to say something until punched in the gut.


"You are so such idiot, Ruby." Sapphire said as they went to operations. Crystal finds Maisy as she takes her to a bed. They get along with each other as they described about their past lives and how they can make it out alive. Crystal gives Maisy a tracker whom was given by Gold as a good luck.


Crystal left Maisy to sleep and returned back to the others. They dicuss how the Xenomorphs come from until Lack-two spoke up.


"Maybe it's a ant-hive." Lack-two said until Sapphire correct him.


"Bees have hives you moron." Sapphire said to him.


"I know. But there's one big female runs the whole show. The Queen. She's badass. I mean big!" Lack-Two uses his fingers how big the Ant-queen is.


"These things are not ants!" Sapphire yells at him.


Crystal tells Silver to destroy all specimens when they are about to leave except Silver told her about Eusine want them to be in the company bioweapons lab. Crystal confronts Eusine only to find that he ordered the colonists to find the ship and caused the series of events. That wasn't until Silver called in Crystal to find the vent of the station meaning the station will blow up as a nuclear bomb.


They knew they are doomed until Silver offered himself to link up the tower since he's a robot and they can't harm him. Long after Silver went to the link tower, the xenomorphs attacked again in one of the hallways defended by remaining turrets only to drive them back for a while. It seems hope is their side.


Crystal went to see Maisy and decides to take a nap. Outside, Silver works on the dropship to get them out. However, things are about to get worse when the two containers had the facehuggers are loosed inside. They tried to open the glass, tried to get on camera which Eusine turned off, and Crystal used her head to trigger the fire alarm.


The facehuggers attacked the two until the cavalry arrived. Gold came to Crystal's aid and Lack-two saves Maisy's life as they both killed the facehuggers. The rest captured Eusine as Crystal explains Eusine's plan much to the Marine's shocked reactions.


"Fuck. He's dead. You're dog meat pal!" Lack-two said until Gold step in.


"That's it. We waste him. No offense!" Gold picks Eusine up until Crystal suggest to take him until the power went out. It seems the Xenomorphs are coming for them and this time they are climbing on the ceiling. During the assault, Eusine escapes and locked the door from the group only to find a xenomorph to capture him into the hive.


During the retreat, Lack-Two stands up to the Xenomorph after much of his fears of dying is gone.


"Come on, you motherfuckers! DIE MOTHER FUCKERS. COME AND GET ME! COME YOU BASTARDS. WANT SOME OF THIS! FUCK YOU!" Lack-two shouts at the xenomorphs as he kills them until one of them got him blow. Gold tries to save him which it was too late as he was dragged into it.


They opened the locked door and flee into the ducts while Sapphire is covering their retreat that more Xenomorphs are coming. She kills many xenomorphs as she can in terms she can able to get the group until one got on top of her as she uses her leg pin to the wall. She proceeds to kill it with her pistol as that has a drawback to the acid on her.


The group heard her which Ruby tells the others to go as to save Sapphire from the Xenomorphs. Ruby comes in as one pops out of the duct as he fires his pistol to kill one. That was pointless until the ammo run out. He takes out a generade which Sapphire sees this.


"Ruby, you were always been asshole." Sapphire weakly said.


"I wasn't. You assumed I was." Ruby said.


"Do you remember now?" Sapphire asked him.


"Um…..I don't…..remember….." Ruby sheepish replied.


"Ruby, you stupid….." Sapphire about to say the word until the xenomorphs tried to kill them until the explosion kills him. Meanwhile Gold, Crystal, and Maisy tried to get on the ladder until the shockwave forced Maisy to get off the ladder to into the sewers. Both Gold and Crystal tried to get her, but it was too late as the Xenomorph captured her.


At Crystal's dismay, they must go to the drop ship as they head to the elevator until a xenomorph appeared as Gold killed it. But the acid contracted with Gold's armor that able to reach to his chest. It wasn't bad on the injury, but it's fatal as Crystal helps Gold to the dropship. She tells Silver they are not leaving.


She packs up to enter the hive to save Maisy with 15 minutes left. Gold and Crystal has their moment before she leaves.


"Hey, Crys. Be safe." Gold said which Crystal smilied.


"I will be back. Gold." Crystal said as she gets off. She goes into the hive as she hears Maisy's screams. She gets her as she carries until she ran into more eggs that she turned to face the mother of all Xenomorphs, the Queen.


She sees this in terror along with Maisy as the two xenomorphs flanked their queen. The Queen sees the humans until Crystal fires the flamethrower that made the Queen to back off to protect her eggs. They step back until one of the eggs opened which made Crystal upset as she opened fire at the egg and the Xenomorphs attacked her as she gunned them down and goes berserk to destroy all the eggs and uses the grenrade launcher to the queen's egg sack.


She and Maisy runs away only unaware that the Queen is after them. They get up to find Silver had left, but managed to save from the Queen. They flee from the station as it blows up in a nuclear fashion. Everything is alright in the end until a acid drips into the floor of the Sulaco hanger.


The Queen impale Silver as the Xenomorph queen cuts Silver in half. She goes after Maisy until Crystal distracts her in order for Maisy to hide in the vents. Crystal locks herself as she found something will help her to fight the Queen. The Queen is looking for Maisy and was about grab her.


The door opened to reveal Crystal in a mecha powerloader as she comes to the Queen. She has a very anger in her face as she is very deadly serious at the moment.


"Get away from her, YOU BITCH!" Crystal yelled at the Xenomorph queen. The Queen hissed at her and they began to duke it out. She and the Queen are equal in strength, but the Queen was faster while Crystal uses her skills to match the Queen's speed. During the fight, she decides to lure the Queen into the air lock and get her into space.


But the Queen grabs the powerloader to get Crystal in,, but trapping her in. Crystal gets out and opens the airlock while she uses her strength to hold while the Queen is sucked out of space and falls to its death. Crystal climbs up slowly and locks the door.


It was finally over as Maisy comes to hug Crystal and Silver looks at Cystal with respect.


"Not bad for a human." Silver said.


They put Silver and Gold to sleep as they are about to go to hypersleep as they can dream once more. WAIT! There's one more thing to do in this parody.


We present you a musical. The Republic Empire Orchestra prepares the song to play out as the holograms are at the works. The center of the stage shows Maisy on the stage.


"This creepy awful place. Hopeless maroon. Things that hug your face. After you're cocooned. Everyone is dead, but I am supposed to be impressed because these soldiers are thrown in the mixed. So, take me where the monsters that bursts out of your chest. Far away from LVL-426." Maisy sings about the events of the film of the experience. Comes alongside with Crystal who sings with the song.


"Lost in outer space. Fifty seven years. The past has been erased. I wake up and I'm in tears. They asked me to go back to be protected by a team. They laughed at me and wasting their time with their tricks. So now, I'm going to die exactly like my dream. Welcome back to LVL-426." Crystal sadly sings as she described in a teary moment that matches the song very well. Both Crystal and Maisy formed a duet.


"This frighten little girl."


"She tries to keep me calm."


"I wonder that can I be that going to need."


"She reminds me of my mom." Then Maisy steps up.


"Ruby is incompetent. Sapphire misses Brawly. Gold does what he can. I don't know what Lack-two can take. Eusine works for the company, he's in it for the cash. Silver seems ok with me. Maisy described the characters in a verse. Crystal steps up.


"He makes me think of Cheren!"


"Will ever be ok for me to dream. Will anybody hear me if I scream?" Maisy sings to the audience. Then the chorus sings up.


"Far away from LVL-426?"


"You came for me." Maisy sings as the scene hologram as Crystal saves Maisy.


"Far away from LVL-426?"


"Punch it Silver!" Crystal sings as hologram scene shows they get away from the planet.


"Far away from LVL-426?"


"You get away from her, you bitch!" Crystal sings at the epic showdown of the Queen.


"Far away from LVL-426!"


Light shows to Maisy as she steps up to finish the song.


"I pray there's no more. No last minute horrible cliffhanger. I wonder what's in store. I guess it's up to Fincher. Sweet dreams for Silver, Crystal, and Gold at least for now. Now, we are far away from LVL-426." Maisy finishes singing as the song finishes as the story ends.


The entire cast comes up to the stage to shout, "HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!"




Author's notes: The musical at the end is from a Youtube video, Aliens the Musical by Jon Kaplan and Al Kaplan. Spiderman parody will be resumed soon. So, be patience and have a good Halloween.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...