He doesn't deserve his heart #Larry

If you love someone, then set them free. If they come back, then they're yours forever.


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3. I won't give up

 

 

Louis knew, he should feel happy, but he didn't.

Right now, his family, mother, step-dad, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and of course the lads, and people from Eleanor's part, was having a before-marriage dinner, which was filled with laughter from 30 people, small-talk, and speeches to the soon-to-be-married couple, and Louis had never been this bored before.

Of course, he didn't show by laughing on the right times and being polite, but his mind was focusing on a curly-haired boy who sat 3 seats away from him. They didn't talk together much that night, but they kept looking at each other and smiling, they even put up some funny faces, making the other one laugh, and for the night, everything just seemed to be fine.

When Harry rose from his chair, trying to get everyone’s attention by clinging his knife on his glass, Louis almost had a heart attack, knowing it was time for Harry's speech, and he didn't know, if he could handle this.

Harry cough, before look directly at the couple, smiling. "So, what best man would I be, if I didn't say a few words to the couple tonight?” Harry asked cheekily, dimples showing on his cheeks. Before continuing, he made sure look directly at Louis. "I'm so proud of Louis. I've known Louis since we were kids, and even though he's the oldest, I was always the one to look after him, making sure he didn't do anything stupid and cause himself troubles, which he did a lot, so I realized I couldn't stop him, nobody could, so I just let him do it, and sometimes he even convinced me to help him, and when we got caught he would cry, because he was so sorry for causing me problems with my parents. To be honest, I didn't mind doing those crazy pranks and stuff with him, because it brought us closer, and in the end, we were really close. We've always talked about how I would be the one to find a girl and settled down with first, while Louis would be 32 years and living on the couch in me and my wife's house, but seems like Louis and Eleanor better buy a couch for me instead."

Harry was interrupted by laughter, and it was first at the point he realized that Louis and himself both had tears in their eyes, and it wasn't because Harry's speech was that touching, they just missed each other that much. Harry smiled at Louis, and then continued, talking directly to Louis.

"Lou, I want you to know, no matter how distant we've been for the last 3 years, I've always been proud of having you as my friend, and if you'll forget all about me, when you walk out of the church in three days with a beautiful girl by your side, I won't blame you, and I'll by no chances forget you, but it doesn't matter, because I know you'll be happy, because I trust Eleanor to make that happen, and if you ever need me in the future, even if it's twenty years from now, my door will be open, always. Yo- God, I'm sorry, I can't. Cheers, may they live happy ever after", and with those words, Harry left the room and Louis, searching for the bathroom so he could cry the pain out.

 

Harry had broken down in the middle of the speech, and that's why he was now sitting in a bathroom, realizing it should be him.

It's should be him sitting be Louis' side, it should be him getting married in three days with Louis, it should be him waking up in the morning cuddling with Louis, it should be them making love, it should be them laughing, crying, talking, kissing, fighting, teasing, whispering secrets, like they used to, he should be in Eleanor's place.

"It should be me", Harry whispered to himself, "it should be me, it should be me, it should be me", he kept whispering again and again, ignoring the silent voice in his head, telling him he doesn't even deserve Louis, because he knew it was true. He didn't deserve Louis.

Louis would never be with Harry, first of all, he was straighter than the straightest stick in the world, and second of all, Louis was getting married - with someone who wasn't Harry.

"Harry, are you in here? Please be", a voice begged, and till no one’s surprise, of course it was Louis who would find Harry, and maybe everything Harry needed right now was Louis.

"Yeah, I am, don't worry, Lou - I'm fine, go back to your dinner, please, I feel bad for ruin it", Harry managed to say, trying to not let Louis know he's crying behind the locked door.

"You're not ruin anything, you idiot, I'm crying too, so let me in, and we'll cry together, okay?", Louis offered, and Harry had just said, it should be him crying with Louis instead of Eleanor, and that was reason enough for Harry to unlock the door, and when green met blue, they both start crying again. Louis sat down beside Harry, and curled up to his side. Harry felt the urge to just cuddle like they used to, but then he remembered, they're not like that anymore.

Louis was the first the break the comfortable silence. "Your speech, you never finished it, will you?” he asked shyly, actually dying to hear the rest.

"I-erh, I can't, I'm sorry, Lou", Harry whispered, wanting to kiss Louis forehead, but resisted.

"I'm scared"

"I know, I understand. Marriage is a scary thing, Lou, but it's also a wonderful thing. You're not regretting, are you?” Harry asked, thinking "Please say yes, please say yes" in his head, even though he knew, it was wrong.

"I'm not talking about marriage. I'm talking about you," Louis stopped, seemed to think about how to say the next words. "The speech you made, made me think, that I don't even deserve a friend like you. I've took you for granted the last three years, and only called you, when I needed you, and when you needed me, I had 100 other things to do, and then you just make a speech like that, like I'm the best friend in the world, and that's why I'm afraid," he paused again, trying to catch Harry's eyes, but he couldn't. "Because you sooner or later will realize, I'm not as great as you thought, and then hate me".

Harry didn't say anything, because he knew Louis was right. Harry should hate Louis, because what kind of best friend did just leave you behind? Even though he should, then he couldn't hate Louis, but maybe it would be easier.

Instead of words, Harry took both of his arms around the scared older boy protective, and to Harry's luck he could feel Louis relax, and then making himself comfortable.

"I'll never hate or forget you, Lou", Harry thought to himself as a silent promise.

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