Aye there

Dillon choked. Swallowing seemed harder this time. Almost like they didn't want to go down. Everyone had left him, leaving him a way to break free. Of this curse, this curse called life.

Wakelyn walked awkwardly down the highschool halls avoiding all eye contact. Nobody had spoken to her ever since "it" happened. She hadn't made an effort either though, people weren't really her thing after all she'd been through. She missed him desperately with all her heart, now that he was gone, how was she supposed to cope with the pain?

Austin stuttered. Ever since the day "It" happened he hadn't been up for much talking unless it was to Wakelyn. She was the only person he could confide in and count on to be there. Why did his bestfriend have to go, nobody understood the pain. Surviving would be harder than ever now.

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1. Prolouge

Dillon's P.O.V.

 

My scars are mostly invisible, the few that remain on the outside are covered by hoodies and long sleeves.  I try to continue on in life but everything is always so overwhelming.  I don't feel wanted, needed, or loved.  Even by my girlfriend Wakelyn, she is perfect, why would she date and imperfect beast like me.  It all started in middle school.  I moved from the states to Ireland.  Rumors spread about me, breaking down my walls.  My parents were abusive and on the run from police.  They don't give a damn about me.  I want another life, any other life.  Can no one see the pain I'm going through?  Does anyone actually care?  I met Wakelyn in 8th grade, she and her best friend Austin took me under the wing giving me hope for the first time in years.  It's easy to become depressed even with their strength pulling me up.  Music helps some, it's what I do mostly besides baseball.  Baseball is just to make my dad happy.  Or as close to happy as a drunk can get.  He doesn't love me, he thinks of me as a piece of gum he can't get off the bottom of his shoe.  I feel like a disappointment around my family.  My mother is a cheater, she gambles and does drugs that have sent her to jail multiple times.  Compared to Austin and Wakelyn I look like dirt.  They have rich families and get whatever they want.  I on the other hand have to work after school.  I hide my life from them though covering it up with a story.  The story is that my parents live back in the states and my grandparents live here.  They never really ask which is good.  

 

I started getting depressed in 10th grade again.  Wake and I have been dating for around 2 years now, but she seems distant and uninterested.  I'm failing school, but not because I don't try.  It's because I'm not smart. I really do try to stay strong, but most times I feel cut off from civilization.  Like I don't matter.  Maybe I don't.  Maybe this is all just a dream, having a girlfriend and a bestfriend.  Wakelyn could easily find another boyfriend, she was gorgeous.  Straight jet black hair and dark angry grey eyes.  Austin had the same dark brown hair and green glassy eyes like me.

 

I started..self harm a few months ago.  I don't know how it's supposed to make you feel, but it makes me feel good.  Nobody knows, my parents don't notice.  The past few months I've started wearing jackets and hoodies.  When Wake reaches for my hand, I tell her I am sick and don't want to spread the disease.  It's hard hiding the marks left on my pale wrists.  Is it weird that I always feel everything in slow motion, my mom slammed my head into the window last week.  She saw boodstains on the sheets from the new cuts.  It surprised me when she started crying, I never thought she was that caring.  Must have been the first time in years she wasn't stoned.  All she did was cry then drag me to the kitchen.  Where she must have come to her senses and slammed my head through the window.  I probably have a serious concussion.  It's like a base is playing constantly in the background.  My hearing goes in and out, sometimes it's fine others my head is pounding when people talk.  

 

I finally made the decision I couldn't live like this, I had to change now.  My life needed to be cleaned up.  I could start by moving out, starting to get tutored.  But it's not going to be easy, cutting...it's an addiction.  Stopping is like...trying to breathe underwater...it's the hardest thing ever...it suffocates you...takes over your life...never lets you up for air...it keeps you down underneath earth's surface...nothing can bring you back out...except for yourself...thats the hard part, changing everything....it's my path though....

 

 

 

Authors Note:  Does this sound like a good story?  Or should I start another?

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