Jennifer (goodbye mommy)

a poem about a dying mother

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8. Saturday with her

i thought i was ready,
but now i see that i'm not,
i don't want you to be gone,
i don't want your life to be done,

so please stay with me for just a little bit longer,
tell me some stories from when i was little,
dry my tears and hold me close,
take away all my fears,

you no longer can walk,
you can no longer be by yourself,
you fell and couldn't get up,
your left arm and leg are not working like they should,

your speech is slurred and hard to understand,
but that doesnt' matter anymore,
what matters now is that you are at peace,
and in no pain,

in and out of sleep,
sometimes forgetting things,
i still love you,
sometimes more but never less,

forever you will be in my heart,
forever i will love you,
forever i will miss you,
when you are gone i will never forget you,

three years now,
three long years, 
three birthdays of mine go by,
and last week was the last one you'll be here for,

i get to see you every week now,
because we all know,
that you will soon be gone,
and i'll never see you again in this world,

you are always in my heart,
and always will stay there,
so if you really think about it,
you will never true be gone,

just in the hearts of me and others,
i love you mommy,
and i will always love you,
no matter what.

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