DanIsNotOnFire Has My Heart On Fire

Skye is your average girl, bubbly, fun and has that one big crush. Not Harry Styles, not Josh hutcherson, but a boy who used to live around the corner from her, but barely knows her. Dan Howell, aka Danisnotonfire.

I'm going to have to put this story up to a higher rating for such adult themes- I hope you don't mind! Also I just want to say that self harm is NEVER an answer. Although here I describe it as a great release for Skye it won't make your problems go away. In fact it will only make your problems worse. So please guys- find healthier ways to deal with emotions. Thanks for reading!


12. What Happened

We made it to Dan and Phil's apartment. Dan had to carry me bridal style the whole way there because I just could not take my own weight. All I could do was cry, shake and hurt. Where I had been beaten by that evil man was so painful and my migraine was unstoppably throbbing. I had to close my eyes to rest them the whole way to Dan's because of my migraine but I couldn't rest- not now.

Dan banged on the door because he couldn't open the door with me in his arms nor could he let me down because I would just collapse on the ground. He kept banging harder and harder until Phil eventually jogged over to the door to open it. "Alright alright hang on!" he called. He opened the door and before he had time to register what was happening Dan pushed past him and carried me to his bedroom.

"What the hell happened?" Phil questioned in alarm; eyes open wide. He quickly followed Dan and I to the bedroom and entered as Dan was placing me carefully on his bed.

"Now Skye sweetie, I need you to be really brave and tell me what happened. What did the man do to you?" Hearing those words instantly terrified Phil and he rushed over to sit by the bed eyes open wide.

"H... he raped me!" I burst out. Suddenly I just wanted to get it all out of my system. "I begged him to stop but he wouldn't and he just kept pushing me for more and more! I couldn't get away Dan I swear I couldn't he just hurt me whenever I tried!" I struggled for breath.

"The fucking bastard!" Phil shouted in fury. "Skye I am so sorry I wasn't there for you I shouldn't have let you go alone at night. I'm so stupid!" Dan cried and he grabbed me in his arms and cried with me. "I'm so sorry".

"I'll get you a drink of water and some ibuprofen" Phil told me and exited the room to retrieve them.

"Dan...I feel...I feel so dirty and disgusting now" I sobbed in to his chest as he held me tightly to him. It was like he wanted to protect me from the world forever now and never let go.

"It isn't your fault one bit Skye please don't feel ashamed" he assured me kissing the top of my head.

Phil came back in to the room and sat on the bed beside me. Dan propped me up against his body not letting go of me at all whilst Phil held the glass to my lips. I obeyed and drank the water slowly yet still shaking horrifically. I was then passed the tablets in which I swallowed eager for some pain relief.

"Where did he hurt you?" Phil said in a calm tone, stroking my hair. Dan took the now empty glass from Phil's hand and placed it on the bedside table behind him. "He...he hit my face, punched and kicked my stomach" I informed him in a more controlled voice. On that note Phil left the room again and I was left alone with Dan.

"I'm so sorry Skye, this was a shit first date" Dan admitted to me. I disagreed. "No, our date was wonderful Dan, honestly it was. It was just a horrific night that's all. But I had a great day, I honestly did".

Phil came back in to the room again armed with a bag of frozen peas. "It's for your face Skye, it has swelled up a bit" he explained. Dan pulled back and led me back on the bed delicately so I could lie down. He then sat next to me and retrieved the bag of peas from Phil and held it to my cheek. It was instantly cooling and I was extremely grateful. Beforehand it felt like a room full of fierce fire.

"Thank you Phil" I whispered to him. "It's alright, really. There are some evil bastards in this world" Phil replied; clenching his pale fists. "Anyway, you should get some sleep and I am sure Dan can look after you so I shall leave you guys to it. I hope you feel better in the morning I genuinely do".

"Goodnight Phil" I replied as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

Dan sighed and kissed my forehead before getting up to get something. I was too tired to question what he was doing but he didn't leave the room but just rummaged around a bit. Not long later he came back to me with a bundle of his clothes in his arms.

"You can't sleep in your dress Skye; can you get up and walk to the bathroom so you can change?" I attempted to move but my bruised stomach disagreed with this movement and caused me to flop back down in agony. Dan took this as a no and puzzled over another plan.

I broke the silence. "Please change my clothes for me" I asked. Dan bit his lip. "Are you...are you sure?" I nodded gently. "I know you're not like that man. I trust you Dan". This assured him and he lifted up my arms so he could take off the jumper I was wearing of his. He then fragilely pushed me so I was on my side so he could get to the long zip going down the back of the dress.

Dan unzipped my dress slowly and continued to pull me flat on my back again. He then looked behind him whilst trying to pull my dress off. "You don't have to look away you know Dan. I don't own dignity anymore" I told him sadly. "Don't be silly Skye, you still have dignity. That horrible man, who in my opinion deserves to be murdered brutally, did not take anything from you. You can carry on your life as normal without him in the back of your head". I sighed. "Nevertheless Dan, this won't work if you cannot see what you're doing. Please, just look at me. I already told you I trust you".

He turned slowly and looked at me. He went back to what he was doing and pulled my dress off of my body and went to fold it up neatly. "Don't bother" I said almost angrily at him. "I don't want to see that dress ever again. It is ruined anyway". Instead of carrying on folding it Dan threw it the corner of the room.

Dan pulled jogging bottoms on to my legs and helped me to wiggle them up to my thighs and on to my waist. They were a bit baggy but I didn't care. He then proceeded to lift my arms in the air again so he could pull one of his old shirts on to me.

Dan seemed deep in thought. "You know, we never decided who won the bet from the Zoo". Memories of the bet suddenly came to mind and I laughed. "I think you won Dan by a mile". This seemed to please Dan and he grinned at me with a twinkle in his eye. "Then for my prize I want to kiss you" he stated.

My breathing stopped. "Kiss me?" I gulped. "Of course Skye, I don't want to kiss anyone but you. But if you don't feel up to it after tonight then that's totally fi-". I halted Dan in his words as I plucked up the energy to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him enthusiastically towards me. I pressed my lips to his and it gave him a second to realise what was happening before he kissed me back.

The kiss didn't last long because I was tired and my body ached. I pulled away and pushed Dan's fringe out of his eyes. "Thank you for everything Dan" I told him gazing in to his muddy brown eyes.

He gazed back at me. "It was no problem. You didn't deserve what happened to you tonight".

"Please don't leave me tonight" I suddenly begged him, "I don't think I can cope with being alone tonight. I know I will get nightmares and I don't want to suffer alone. You make me feel so safe and secure and I want to feel like that tonight". Dan smiled and kissed my cheek that wasn't hit. "I'm glad I make you feel that way Skye. Of course I will stay".

Dan then helped me under the bed sheet before getting up off of the bed. Not bothering to proceed to the bathroom for more privacy he unzipped his jeans and pulled them down to put on PJ bottoms. I couldn't help but gawp. I had seen more of Dan than any of his fans had. Dan then took his shirt off and threw it on the floor beneath him and got in to the bed beside me. I couldn't help but admire his body.

Happily I leaned over to Dan as far as my aching body would let me and he pulled me the rest of the way gently as if I was a china doll. I rested my head against his bare chest and snuggled in to his warmth. "Goodnight Dan" I told him and closed my eyes peacefully. "Goodnight Skye" he replied and kissed my hair before gently resting his head against mine.

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