DanIsNotOnFire Has My Heart On Fire

Skye is your average girl, bubbly, fun and has that one big crush. Not Harry Styles, not Josh hutcherson, but a boy who used to live around the corner from her, but barely knows her. Dan Howell, aka Danisnotonfire.

I'm going to have to put this story up to a higher rating for such adult themes- I hope you don't mind! Also I just want to say that self harm is NEVER an answer. Although here I describe it as a great release for Skye it won't make your problems go away. In fact it will only make your problems worse. So please guys- find healthier ways to deal with emotions. Thanks for reading!

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17. Phone Charger

"I...um...I forgot to put my phone on charge" I stumbled out improvising. I stared at Dan heavily praying to any God that would listen that Dan didn't see me cutting.

Dan walked towards me silently and I brought my eyes down to my feet too nervous and embarrassed to look him straight in the face. Dan put his hand on my shoulder and I closed my eyes waiting for him to shout at me and ask me why I am cutting.

"I know you're lying to me Skye. I know you didn't come here to put your phone on charge." I bit my lip and awaited the criticism and a heartbroken Dan.

"...You didn't feel comfortable being in front of the camera after...y'know...did you?"

I froze suddenly. He didn't see! I suddenly relaxed and sighed. I was able to look him in the eyes. "Yeah, I guess you got me" I lied "I'm sorry. I just needed a breather"

"It is no problem; it's my fault for making you do it without thinking. I'm sorry"

Dan pulled me in to a hug and I embraced it eagerly. I couldn't put in to words how relieved I was Dan didn't see me. Although Dan pressing to my body rubbing against my newly formed cuts stung I didn't mind. All I could do was relax after so much tension.

As me and Dan stood cuddling for a long while I opened up my tight fist which was grasping the blade. There was still blood on it. I closed the palm of my hand over it again and pulled back from the hug.

"Thank you for understanding" I said to Dan. But Dan didn't reply- he was staring at me with a horrified expression on his face. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

I giggled nervously. "Uh, what? Why are you staring at me like that?"

Dan didn't say anything. He just pointed at my stomach with a shaking finger.

I looked down at my stomach.

Oh crap.

"What...what have you done Skye?" Dan said in a trembling tone.

After Dan was pressed so tightly against my body it forced all the seeping blood to press to the inside of my shirt...and show non-discreetly on the outside of my lightly coloured shirt.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I could do or say to make things any better. The situation was as bad as it got.

Dan didn't say anything either...he just reached towards me and pulled up my top high enough to show what he didn't want see.

In Dan's eyesight were the sight of the word 'FILTH' and my fresh new crimson cuts revealing my deepest and darkest secret. Immediately (almost like he saw something that scared him) Dan retaliated and dropped his grip on my shirt. All he did was stand with his hand clasped firmly on his mouth.

"I'm sorry" was all I could say before I burst in to a waterfall of tears.

This brought Dan back to life again and he suddenly grabbed me and pulled me in to a tight protective bear hug.

"I'm so sorry Dan I'm so sorry!" I sobbed out repeatedly in to his shirt as he held me to his chest.

Dan said nothing.

He just held me close for what felt like forever.

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