DanIsNotOnFire Has My Heart On Fire

Skye is your average girl, bubbly, fun and has that one big crush. Not Harry Styles, not Josh hutcherson, but a boy who used to live around the corner from her, but barely knows her. Dan Howell, aka Danisnotonfire.

I'm going to have to put this story up to a higher rating for such adult themes- I hope you don't mind! Also I just want to say that self harm is NEVER an answer. Although here I describe it as a great release for Skye it won't make your problems go away. In fact it will only make your problems worse. So please guys- find healthier ways to deal with emotions. Thanks for reading!

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32. Decisions

I wanted Skye to sleep but deep down I really wanted to know what was wrong with her.

What happened that was so bad that she had a panic attack?

She was now asleep in my arms but I couldn't sleep myself.

Too much was running through my mind.

All I wanted in life was to make her happy.

Where did I go wrong?

*SKYE'S POINT OF VIEW*

Upon opening my eyes and seeing Dan's arm sloped around my waist everything came rushing back to me.

I wish I could pretend to be asleep and do it forever; ignore the reality.

Chance would be a fine thing.

"Hello sleepy head" Dan said behind me.

I quickly turned around and gave him a nervous smile. From looking at his face nerves drowned me inside and I was trying to think of every single way I could put off the situation.

"You hungry? I'm hungry?" I asked in a fake over excited voice and shot out of bed quicker than a cheetah chasing its prey.

"Yeah, but first we need to talk" Dan replied sitting up against the headboard.

I shook my head to myself and pulled on a jacket. "I fancy some eggs. Do you fancy some eggs?"

"Skye..."

"Perhaps some toast too. Mmm, buttered toast. I can make you bacon too if you want"

"SKYE!"

I froze in my tracks and reluctantly turned around to glance at Dan. He was obviously not going to let me forget everything that had happened.

"Talk to me, please"

I laughed and looked down at my feet.

"We are talking silly"

Dan got out of bed and walked over to me.

"You know what I mean"

I sighed and dragged myself over to sit on the bed and Dan joined me by my side. He placed one of his comforting hands on my knee.

"Tell me. Whatever it is we will get through it together"

Be brave, Skye.

Just tell him.

I turned to look at him straight in the face.

"Dan. I'm...I'm pregnant"

Silence.

I don't think I've ever seen Dan look paler in my life.

"...What?"

"...I'm pregnant"

Dan gave no more sign of emotion. He seemed confused more than anything.

"I thought you were on birth control?"

"Nobody ever told me that if you missed a day it means you're not protected for a whole week even if you do catch up on them"

Dan looked down at his lap and I choked up.

"I'm really sorry Dan"

He then gave a reaction I would not have expected from him.

Dan suddenly looked up and grabbed both of my hands with his.

"Don't be! Skye, we're going to be parents! I'm going to be Daddy!"

He shot up and grabbed his phone.

"W...what are you doing?" I asked in curiosity.

"I need to tell my Mum and Dad! Oh Skye, we're going to have a family!"

"But Dan-"

"Just wait until the fans find out! I mean, some of the fan girls will be pissed but oh my god!"

I sighed and started fiddling with the duvet wishing I could just shrivel up and die right now.

Dan looked up at me in surprise at not replying to his comment.

He seemed so overjoyed by the news.

"Why don't you seem too happy?" he asked.

I waited a few seconds before replying.

"I'm not sure if I want to keep it" I admitted.

Dan's face suddenly dropped and he threw his phone on the bed before sitting by me again.

"What do you mean?" he questioned in sadness.

"I'm sorry" I explained "But it has happened so fast. I'm not sure if I am ready to be a mother yet"

A tear fell from Dan's eye. "But...but I'm ready to be a father"

This hurt me so much to be the one to burst his bubble.

"I'm not sure. Right now I'm not sure about anything"

He lifted my face by my chin to make me look at him and his eyes filled with sympathy.

"Then we will talk and talk and talk about it until we reach a decision. We will discuss it all day and night if we have to. You don't have to do this alone"

I smiled gratefully.

Dan was always so understanding even if it meant breaking his heart.

So what the hell do I do?

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