Take care

(Starts in 2009, before XFactor. Harry was just a normal teen from Cheschire with big dreams)

Harry and Valerie had always been best friends. From their birth to their teenage years, everything was fine. A few mistakes changed the whole thing, but their relationship always stayed strong.

Sometimes, saying nothing says it all...

«You've seen all my mistakes...»

Maybe they were ''too close'' to be bf/gf but what happens when life gives you no other choice? And what happens when fame takes away the person you need the most?

Some people change, and some just won't.


18. 18

 Valerie’s POV

It’s already been 3 weeks since we’ve come back from Green Bay. The flight and jet lag sure had been rough on Harry and I, but still what we did on our last night at the hotel didn’t put too much awkwardness between us, surprisingly. In the morning, we acted like it was normal, we were not mad at eachother or anything. I think we both wanted it. Maybe we even needed it. We did discuss what happened when our lives came back to normal, about 3 days after being back at home. There was a fast conclusion : we were not in love with eachother. We couldn’t, actually, because we didn’t want to spoil all of our friendship memories. It was simple. We came to realize that since we’ve been that close, maybe it would now be easier for us to find someone else. Now that we had experienced what it was like, somehow, to be together, our approach to others would be better. Maybe we needed to be this close to finally let go a little of eachother. 

It was then mid december, meaning our time was all into studying for the exams. One night I was at Harry’s place and her mom and sister were helping us studying around the kitchen table. We were at maths when I started feeling a bit dizzy. I had some sort of pressure in my belly, and it was more and more intense as I was trying to ignore it. The first person to see me in pain was Gemma. 

-    Are you okay, Vall ?
-    Ehm, yeah no. I’m not feeling very well. I’ll go sit on the bed.

I walked to Harry’s room and I fell on the ground, not able to reach to the bed. He ran into the room shouting my name, followed by his mother and sister. They helped me get on the bed and went to get me some water while Harry was sitting by me. I could see he was worried, he couldn’t stop staring at me. 

-    Did you eat today ?
-    Of course I did...
-    Alright... Do you need anything ?
-    Well I’m feeling a little cold
-    - I’ll get you a blanket, don’t worry !

He went to get it and I drank the water Gemma brought me and from then, all I remember is when I woke up. I don’t know how I fell asleep but I woke up at 3 in the morning, with Harry by my side. I was still a bit dizzy but feeling much better than a few hours before. Harry woke up not long after, he must’ve felt that I was awake. 

-    Is everything okay ?

His voice was a bit hoarse and his eyes half closed. I wasn’t giving him any response so he light up the lamp by his bed. He looked at me and I was staring back. 

-    I’ve got two problems.
-    What’s wrong, tell me ! I’ll take care of that
-    1. I’m still cold. 2. I want to... kiss you

I’m not exactly sure why I said that but I did. He was pretty half woken up, messy hair and his lips were so pink I wanted to taste them, one more time. He looked surprised by what I said, then amused.

-    So you want me to warm you up ?
-    Basically..
-    But we said we couldn’t be something... We can’t just have sex and act like nothing ever happened. 
-    I know Harry. But I want you. Now. And for now I don’t care what we said... I just want to feel your lips on my neck like you did the other time. And your hands on my breast. You know, the little things that makes me giggle...
-    Alright I’ll see what I can do...

I never knew I could say things like that and I never knew it could entertain a guy that much. Harry was already excited, I could feel it on my hip since he was cuddling me. He was kissing the back of my neck, I had turn around so we could be in ‘’spoon position’’. I felt him getting off his boxers, and moving on to get my pants off. His hand was moving up and down on my leg, the tip of his fingers coming close to my most delicate spot. I could feel his dick becoming harder and our breaths heavier. He started moving his finger up and down, which was making me feel a little weak, in the right way. He was kissing my back, just under my neck and he said ''I’m coming in'', and entered me. It was slow sex, but so good. I never knew this would feel so good. There might have been a lack of feelings between Harry and I, but the sensation sure was great. It didn’t last very long, just like last time, probably because we were just teenagers and the intensity of adrenaline was just too high, making us ‘come’ so fast. As soon as we were finished, I turned my face back at him and he said something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

-    You know Val, i've been dying for a taste of the tip of your lips for a good time now. Don’t say anything, I just wanted to let you know that it feels good now. Thank you.

He couldn’t leave me any more speechless. 

I had been sick for most of the following week, vomitting from time to time but mostly weak and out of breath. Thankfully I’ve been able to complete all my exams at school and I can’t tell how relieve I felt when it was finally time for holidays. No school and no stress. 

My parents were still working until 3 days before Christmas so for most of the time I was alone at home. I remember on the morning of December 21st, I couldn’t even get out of bed. My body was feeling so heavy, I could barely breathe. When I finally got myself up, I went in the kitchen to drink water but it got out as soon as it came in. I couldn’t hold water in, all I could think about was how bad this sickness was getting. I called at Harry’s home, hoping that Anne could get me to the hospital. Gemma answered the phone. 

-    Hello ?
-    Hey Gem, it’s Val. I’m feeling quite sick, I can’t hold water in and..
-    You want me to come over ?
-    Is your mom there ? I’d like to go to the hospital if possible
-    She’s gone shopping with Harry. I can take you !
-    Oh thanks Gemma ! Yeah thank you so much
-    I’ll be there in a few ! Bye !
-    Bye !

I sat outside waiting for her and getting fresh air, which was highly needed. It was cold and I barely was covered up but I needed the cool air to give me my breath back. When Gemma was finally ready to go, we left for the hospital. Last time I had been there, I was with Jess coming back from Josh’s party. That time I had disappointed Harry so much. 

We waited for about two hours until I finally got to see the doctor. I explained to him how I’ve been feeling the past 2 weeks and he made me pass a couple of tests. He measured my heart race, looked and touched everywhere he could and asked me about my activities of the last weeks. The usual. When he verified my blood pressure, he saw something wasn’t right. He told me to go to Room A12 so they could make a blood analysis. It didn’t take very long I had a needle in my arm and my blood floating out of it. The lady was a bit mean to me, as if she was thinking I was faking all of this or something. She even told me she was surprised to see some people my age in the hospital even if school was closed for the holidays, to prove how bad she thought I wasn’t here for a real reason. She told me to go sit in the waiting room for a bit and that she would come to see me if something was wrong. 

-    What did they say ? 
-    Nothing much, we still have to wait. I’m feeling a little better now though
-    Well that’s a good sign ! I hope it won’t take too long, I’m hungry !
-    Oh I’m sorry for keeping you here, Gemma ! You could have just dropped me off and leave ! I would have been fine alone
-    No, no ! That’s what friends do ! And more family since it’s like you’re part of ours
-    I know, thank you !

We were reading some old gossip magazines when the lady came to us. She looked straight at me and said :

-    Why didn’t you told us you were pregnant ?

My heart stopped and my mouth became dry. I could tell Gemma was feeling the exact same. 

-    Wh..What are you saying ?
-    You are pregnant young lady. That would explain your weakness. You know pregnancies are not... recommended, at your age. 
-    But I’m not pregnant what the fuck is this shit !
-    Stay calm, I’ll go tell the doctor that apparently you weren’t aware of that and he’ll do what he can to help you out through this. Just wait.

She left as I was staring at the floor. How could I be pregnant ? Well that was a silly question. Harry and I never took precautions when sex occurred. How come we’ve been so stupid ! None of us thought about that, neither in Green Bay or the night I stayed at his house. I was disgusted with myself and mad at Harry. There was no more ‘oh it feels good’ in my head, that seemed so dumb to me. I wasn’t sad or anything, I was just mad. I didn’t want any baby in my belly, I could never be ready for that. 

-    How did you get pregnant Valerie ? I didn’t even know you were having sex ! 
-    Well I do apparently...
-    And you do it well, it seems ! Pregnant Valerie OH my God.

Gemma was litterally freaking out. She was saying out loud the things I was keeping quiet in my head. 

-    I know I feel... like a whore.
-    Who is the father, Val ?

Oh shit. No one knew about Harry and I little sneaky things... At this point, I had no other choice than to tell the thruth. I didn’t want to look much more like a whore. At least the father was someone I knew.

-    Your... brother ?
-    WHAT ! NO WAY ! Wow yeah now you really seem like a slut, Valerie. How dare you had sex with Harry ! I thought you were family now I doubt it, that’s nasty. Don’t count on me for cheering you up now... Take care of this on your own, I’m sorry I’m just too disappointed I have to leave. I just don’t want anything to do with that

Great... I didn’t have time to say anything, she was already leaving. I was left alone, no one to support me and furious. I wanted to leave to but I couldn’t, Gemma made it really clear that she didn’t want to see me anymore. I couldn’t understand why it got her that mad at me but I guess I couldn’t do anything really. I was so lost, wondering what was going to happen next. I had to tell my parents, I could only imagine how big of a letdown that would be for them. They probably wouldn’t want anything to do with me and the situation neither. They probably would kick me out of the house. The worst was coming to my mind, I’d be a homeless 16-years old with a baby. What a great way to keep up with a life. What the fuck was happening to me ? I had sex twice in my life and I got pregnant, that shouldn’t happen ! I made a baby on my first time, I mean come on it lasted not more than 5 minutes and the sperm made his way ? Couldn’t seem real. I made a baby while in another country ! Who does that at sixteen ? I was so mad ! Oh and how was I going to tell Harry ? He had to know first. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to react like his sister and disown the whole thing. I’d be alone for good then. I was thinking of 'killing' the baby, but firstly I had to tell Harry. I couldn't keep that for myself and anyway I knew Gemma would tell everybody so might as well do it on my own. 

The doctor put me out of my thoughts by saying my name. I lifted my head and the look on his face changed when he was the tears streaming down my face. He brought me into his office and started to say a load of shit about ‘it happens’ and how I ‘shouldn’t be worried because there were a lot of people that could help me going through this, if I wanted to keep the baby or not’. The thing is I never wanted to go through this. He also told me I was 6 weeks through the pregnancy, the exact time since we’ve got back from the US, and that I should come back later this week, even though it was Christmas, to take a first look of the baby inside my belly. He told be to be extra careful since first pregnancies were always a lot more struggle to go through and everything I was doing could be a danger for the baby. I was crying the whole time and still when I got out of the office. I didn’t know who to call to get me back home, so I tried Harry’s cellphone without really thinking. 

-    Hello ?
-    Ha..Harry ?
-    Valerie ? Are you crying ? 
-    Ehmm, yes. I am at the hospital
-    What are you doing there ? Is everything okay still ?
-    No, not really... 

I could barely talk and I could hear in Harry’s voice he knew something was wrong, mentally not physically. 

-    I am with my mom, do you want us to go get you ?
-    Yes. Please...

And I started crying louder. 

-    I’m coming, don’t move. Everything’s gonna be fine okay ?
-    Okay

Oh, if he only knew. 

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