She's too young: The painful truth

What if everything everyone warned you about, was true? What if it was too late to turn back? And what if the painful truth let you drop to the floor, wishing everything was the same again? Would you give it a second chance?

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7. Growing up

I wasn't asking for attention. Louis knew best what was wrong with me. It would have been easier to tell Hanna the truth. But Louis was a difficult person. He wasn't the same person I fell in love with four years ago.

Hanna whispered something inaudibly, and I couldn't hear what they were saying anymore. I crawled into bed, turned the lamp off, and eventually fell asleep listening to the rain.

-

Morning came too quick. I attempted to avoid Hanna at all costs. It wasn't that easy. I was pulling my hair into a side braid when she walked into my bedroom, uninvited. I turned away from her.

"Ellie."

I grabbed my book-bag, walked right past her, and I left. I wanted nothing to do with her or Louis. Ignoring them wasn't the most mature thing to do in the situation, but it was best for me.

Classes passed slowly. It was good to focus on work and papers to write, rather than the things that were eating at my mind so badly. I folded my notebook open, scribbling at words from the board in my last class. I was exhausted, and managed to lose myself about a million times attempting to figure out left from right. The campus wasn't as big as I imagined, but it was still easy to get lost, and it wore me out.

I was the last to leave the classroom when our lesson was over. I didn't want to get trampled by the eager frat boys and college girls. I felt rather left out, I didn't know my place. Here it seemed like everyone knew where they belonged but me. And I hoped that soon I would fit into a crowd just as well.

Clouds were still rolling through the sky today. Though I doubted we'd get any rain. There was a soft breeze that chilled me down from nearly having a heat stroke yesterday.

I was walking through the halls, my notebook in one hand and my pen in the other, searching for somewhere quiet to study. The halls were loud. With ambitious dreams and hook-ups and parties being discussed, I was overwhelmed. I found myself laughing at a boy attempting to juggle , as it seemed like this campus was more a circus other than a school. For a minute I felt happy. My troubles didn't weigh heavily on me. Until I ran into Louis and the boy I met yesterday. Shit.

"Oh hey! We met yesterday in the rain. Louis, this is, uh.." The boy greeted me with a soft smile. He paused, unaware of my name. I corrected him politely. "It's Ellie."

"Oh, right. Ellie. This is my roommate Louis." So that's why Louis got so defensive when he seen us talking yesterday. Louis knew him and seen what he was about. I couldn't figure if he was truly trying to keep me away from what's 'not good', or if he was just being a selfish asshole. Either way it made a part of my stomach jump with joy. It was good to have someone jealous over you. And if he really was, I was going to play the same games he did with me.

"Yeah I know Louis." I smiled. Louis nodded awkwardly.

"Oh you do? How?" The boy asked, somewhat shocked.

"He's my roommate's boyfriend. I've seen him around a couple times in the dorm." I confirmed.

"Oh." The boy smiled. "So do they talk about me?" He chuckled, nudging Louis' shoulder.

"Oh they talk all right. Just not about you." I smirked. Louis dropped his head.

"Oh really, Tommo is a gossiper huh? Hilarious."

"Yeah 'Tommo' is quite the attention seeker." I laughed. The boy laughed harder, seeing my cold assault as a joke. If Louis wanted to bite, I could bite back twice as hard. It was a game he didn't want to play. While the boy was laughing hysterically, Louis took the chance to whisper to me. "What are you doing?"

"Making friends with people who are obviously no good for me." It felt good to be a bitch to him. He deserved it. But at the same time I felt oddly sorry for the way I was treating him. My bitchiness was above it's stability.

"Fine." He frowned.

"See ya later Ellie." The boy- which I forgot to ask his name- and Louis began to turn back to where they were going before I was spotted. I called out Louis' name. He didn't budge.

I don't know why I tried to get his attention again. I was obviously angry with him and I just treated him terribly. I guess it was just out of spite. Minutes passed with me standing alone in the hallway, and I began to feel homesick. I missed my bed. I missed my sisters. I missed a lot of stuff I didn't realize that I'd long for. Three unstable days and I felt horrible. I was sick. I was heartbroken. I was angry. I was sad. And I just wanted to be held. And then I realized that I wasn't a child anymore. I wanted so badly to grow up and to stop being mistreated like a baby. Here I was. Between college classes. Eighteen years old. And I felt smaller than ever.

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