She's too young: The painful truth

What if everything everyone warned you about, was true? What if it was too late to turn back? And what if the painful truth let you drop to the floor, wishing everything was the same again? Would you give it a second chance?


4. Anger

"Ellie!" Hanna shouted, running over to me to help. I was in shock, and I stood there quietly staring at the ground. I didn't even notice the drip of blood pouring down the inside of my forearm, until it's warmness snapped me out of my frozen state. 


"I'm- I'm sorry, I just-" I stuttered, failing not to look at Louis who stood there like an idiot, mouth slightly open, eyes wide. It was fine. I was fine. He didn't have to ask. 


"No, no, don't be sorry. It happens." Hanna assured me kindly, guiding me to the living area where I sat shakily. I examined my arm, which was cut pretty significantly. Hanna was in the kitchen sweeping up glass so no one else got hurt, and Louis slowly walked to her side, scratching the back of his neck with a frown on his lips. I attempted to glare at him with hatred and maybe scream, but only a sob left my mouth and my eyes filled with tears. 


When Hanna was done cleaning up, she sat at the edge of the sofa near me, and gently touched my arm to see the damage. She noticed tears streaming my cheeks. I wanted to slap her hand away. I didn't want her to touch me. I didn't want her to feel sympathetic for me. I didn't want her near my presence. I couldn't tell her that. She'd kill me. 


"It hurts?" She asked calmly, worry in her eyes at the deepness of the wound. I nodded, mostly lying. When you've had a knife drag into the pit of your stomach, and nearly bled to death, a cut like this seems minor, though it didn't look it. Blood was dripping onto my jeans, which I didn't seem to care about. Louis leaned against the wall, oblivious to the fact that his girlfriend and ex-girlfriend were in the same room together. My anger was boiling. 


"Louis, there's a cloth over there. Can you run cold water over it? This needs to get cleaned up, it's pretty bad." Hanna was generally concerned, and I was appreciative about that. But to know that her and Louis were together, made me sick to my stomach. Lou handed Hanna the cloth and she wrapped it around my arm. I cringed and she whispered she was sorry as if it was her who cut me. Blood seeped through the cloth and she stood up. "I need to run down to the nurse's office and get some peroxide and a gauze wrap. Louis, will you sit with her and put pressure on the cut? It needs two hands. I'll be like ten minutes the most since it's across campus."


He was sceptical. He nodded and helped Hanna up. She kissed his cheek and whispered, "I'll be right back." Another tinge of sadness washed over me. Hanna grabbed her bag and left. Louis sat next to me, and warily put his hand on my arm. 


"Don't touch me." I spat, shoving him away from me. I stood up, and let the cloth fall to the floor. The bleeding finally stopped.


"Ellie. Don't be upset. You don't understand." He stood up too.


"Don't be upset? Don't be upset? Tell me why I shouldn't be upset, Louis. Look at this, this whole situation is- it's fucked up." Tears again swelled in my eyes and he frowned. 


"Don't cry, Ellie. I didn't mean to hurt you. You don't get it. I apologize-" 


"Don't apologize, Louis! There's nothing to apologize about. Don't talk to me. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm over it." I lied again. I couldn't stand in front of him like this and I couldn't look him in the eye. 


I walked into my bedroom and grabbed my phone, and without saying anything I stormed out of the dorm with tears streaking down my face. I heard him call after me, but I ignored it. I didn't know why he was calling after me, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of there before Hanna came back and suspected something between Louis and I. 


The sun was nearly set over the horizon, and there were only a few students out on campus grounds. I didn't know where I was going, but I just needed to breathe. My arm was stinging and I tried my hardest to ignore the pain. There was a slight breeze causing me to shiver, and clouds were gathering a storm. It wasn't the best idea to wander around an unfamiliar area, let alone in the rain. So after walking and thinking and crying and reminiscing back to freshman year, the sun was fully set and I decided to mope my way back to the dorm. I mentally prayed Louis was gone. Or else I'd probably slap the death out of him. 


And something inside me felt bad when I thought things like such. I hated to hate him. But I wanted him to feel like I felt. I wanted him and everybody around me hurt like I do. It was selfish, and I didn't care.


I took my time inching up the stairs, and by the time I got to the door, I felt calmed down enough that I could walk in with dignity. I could walk in without the want to push Louis off a twelve story building. Opening the door, he and Hanna were obviously kissing goodbye, and I cringed. Hanna pulled her lips from his. "Ellie! Where did you go? You okay?" 


I nodded, "Yeah, I'm okay. The bleeding stopped... I just needed some air, I'm not good around blood." 


She chuckled though it wasn't funny. "You scared us! We thought you ran off campus or something. We were worried."


'The way you were kissing him suggested you were real god damn worried, Hanna. Thanks for your concern.'


I ran my fingers through my hair. "Yeah, no, don't worry about me. I'm going to lay down. Loss of blood can really tire someone, especially on their first day of c-" 


My rambling was interrupted by the smacking of Louis and Hanna's lips pressed together again. He pulled away, kissed her nose like he used to do to me, and whispered goodbye. She waved like a little puppy, biting her lower lip as he left. I didn't notice I was staring until Hanna turned around. "Sorry. He's just a really good kisser." 


"I know." I muttered. Or, so I thought I muttered. 


"What?" Hanna asked. 


"Oh, I mean I bet. Look at you two. Can't pull away from each other." I saved my creepy, ex-girlfriend, alter-ego, stereotypical stalker talk, and she giggled. 


"Well," I scratched my cheek awkwardly, "Goodnight." I turned to pad to the room when she said from behind me, "It was nice meeting you, El. I hope we can be friends." 


"Me too," Smiling falsely, I finally hopped into bed face first, groaning into my pillows. I didn't know about her. Hanna.


One second I was envious of her beauty and personality and over all desirable qualities and outgoing ways. The next I seen her as less admirable and she was ugly and way too sweet for my liking. 


I eventually fell asleep, finding Louis disrupting my dreams throughout the night. I tried to vanish the faint memory of his lips on mine, and the dream soon turned into a nightmare. 


It was hardly my first day in college, a new life or so I thought, and I already wanted to leave. I wanted to disappear.

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