She's too young: The painful truth

What if everything everyone warned you about, was true? What if it was too late to turn back? And what if the painful truth let you drop to the floor, wishing everything was the same again? Would you give it a second chance?

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2. An unexpected face, in a cluttered crowd

I awoke with a galling headache, arms stretching out to the warm sunshine that shown through my window. Today was the day I'd leave home for the summer, my flight leaving to the University of London waiting for me to board in a mere three hours or so. I sat up unwillingly, as I still had to finish packing bags and reluctantly saying goodbye's. When I moved the slightest from my bed, I realized I had a bit too much champagne last night for my own good. I couldn't do this to myself, I thought. Don't drink your problems away, idiot. 

 

I forced myself to the bathroom, swallowing some asprin and cleaning dry mascara from my eyes. I wanted to look presentable. My mother didn't know I wasn't over this yet, she thought I was fine. Everyone thought I was fine. But the truth is, I wasn't. And I don't think I'll ever be. 

 

After I looked decent enough and my asprin took it's course, I came downstairs to join my sisters and mom for breakfast.

 

"Ellie, there you are." Mom smiled, gesturing towards a cold plate of eggs and toast.

 

"We thought you were dead." Lily snickered. 

 

"I am dead." I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

 

"Ellie. What's the matter with you?" Mom gasped. I remained silent, leaning against the wall, eyes focused on the wooden floors.

 

"Ellie... are you still depressed about this? It's-" 

 

"It's been almost four years, mom. I know. It's not- I'm not hungry. I have to go pack." And I calmly walked back to my bedroom and calmly finished packing my things, and the more the time passed, the more anxious I was to leave this place. To leave this bedroom. Where most of my best and worst memories took place. 

 

-

 

The plane ride didn't last as long as I expected, which I was quite grateful for. My last few goodbye's at home seemed to lay heavy on my mind as I walked through the airport, and during the taxi ride, and the journey through campus grounds of the college. I realized that I wouldn't see my family for a whole summer, and if I decide to stay year round, much longer. The way I've been to my sisters and mom especially have been unfair. And the whole time I was dying to leave, I realize now I was dying to get home.

 

With my arms full of luggage I pressed on to the main office, signing in and getting the key to my apartment. It was in a big indoor building, it felt homelike and was filled with a ton of students settling in their new rooms. My tired body was sprawled out on the sheet absent bed, panting from my long journey up the stairs and down the stairs a numerous of times after dropping my bags over the railing over and over again. I was aggravated at fact that the elevators just had to be under construction on this very day. I, and many of the other girls on my floor were forced to climb the emergency stairs that felt like it never ended. The place was quiet, and small, but cute. It had a kitchen and a bathroom and two decent sized bedrooms which my roommate would occupy soon. I was glad I was first to arrive because I looked a mess, and I was able to claim my room first before she arrived. I didn't know her, nor had I met her or so much as knew her name. Which made me nervous. After my freshman year of high school, I had little to no socialization with any of my classmates as it was just awkward and I was the weird girl who was nearly murdered in front of the whole community by my own 'stepsister'. Making friends wasn't my best quality. But I didn't care, well, I did, but I didn't mind. I was mainly focused on my dream to success. Which had graduating and leaving the town as soon as possible right at the top.

 

Anyways, just as I finished splashing my face with cold water, and tying my hair up I heard a crashing of suitcases falling down the stairs. It had to be her. It had to be my roommate. I pushed my socially awkwardness out the door, and I decided to offer some help. Because I sure as hell would have wanted her to do the same for me. I shyly walked outside to the edge of the stairs, giggling at the girl cursing and swearing under her breath how it was such an unnecessarily inconvenience to 'have so many god damned steps to a stupid apartment that lacked an air conditioning.'

 

"Do you need some help?" I offered. 

 

She sighed, and smiled gratefully. "Yes, yes a hundred times. This thing keeps flying over the edge and I can't get it up."

 

"What room?" I asked, taking some of her things for her.

 

"147B." 

 

"As I guessed. We're roommates." She did little squeal. 

 

I managed to grab two cases, a couple stuffed animals, and a blanket, and I successfully got them into the apartment safely. As clumsy as I am and always was, I tripped only a total of two times without dropping a thing. She was laughing when she noticed how out of breath I was from climbing the stairs with my arms full again. "I'm not in that well of shape as you can tell." I breathed heavily. 

 

"Oh, no. I'm the one out of shape. You just carried all our bags up those god forsaken stairs." She tucked her hair behind her ear, holding a hand out to introduce herself. "I'm Hanna." She was honestly really pretty, with mousy brown hair that fell on her shoulders, big brown eyes, and a skinny figure that made me envious. But she was nice. And I already liked her.

 

"I'm Ellie." Our hands met and we shook, giggling again. 

 

"Well it's nice to meet you, Ellie. I need to unpack all this stuff. It looks like you've settled in already?" Hanna gestured around the place, pointing to the room that had my sheets spread out and books filled in their cases. "Yeah, I had some spare time before I heard you downstairs. The elevators being down is just some coincidence." 

 

"It's like a bad omen." She thought, gripping her blanket from the couch I laid it on, and brought it to her room and became quiet. I was so awkward I didn't know what to say, and at the same time I felt like I was talking too much. I remained quiet, fiddling with my thumbs, when I remembered I had to get to the library in time to check out my text books for classes that started tomorrow. 

 

"Hanna, I'm gonna run to the quad area for a bit. I need to get some books." I shouted, gripping my bag.

 

"Okay, well I'm just gonna stay here and clean up." Hanna came back into the living area and picked up a heavy box of hers that was labeled 'Fragile.' And the second the touched it, it slipped from her hands and crashed to the floor, with a sound of glass breaking and shattering. "Shit. Shit. Shit. It's okay, I didn't need these anyways." 

 

"Aren't you going to go check out books for classes tomorrow?" I asked, standing up and adjusting my high tied ponytail. 

 

"Oh no. This is my third year here actually. I already ordered my books before summer classes started." She explained.

 

"oooooh. So why are you just now moving into this apartment?" I asked curiously. 

 

"I've just been transferred to this dorm area at request. Which I guess was a good request, I've already got a new friend yeah?" She smirked. 

 

"Yes, I guess you do. I should go. It's getting a bit late." I smiled, laying my bad over my shoulder, gripping our room key and heading for the foor.

 

"Wait, Ellie. My boyfriend is coming over here for dinner at around sevenish. He's gone here too for like four years or something. He stays in his own apartment downtown. We've only been dating like four months, but yeah he's really nice, you'd like him. Anyway yeah, dinner. Tonight. Seven. You're invited. Is that okay?" She made me giggle. She was rambling, and it reminded me of Summer. And then I got a bit sad, as all sorts of memories hit me left and right. The rain. My call for her. The headlights. The accident. And then she was gone. I hadn't really felt a sadness like such come over me since I left flowers at the door of her parent's house, sending my condolences as I was in the hospital at the time of her service. The whole situation was heartbreaking and it was something I'd never get over. But I quickly snapped and faked another smile, "Yeah that sounds really nice actually. I'll be back by then, see you in a bit." With that, I left, pacing myself down the stairs and keeping my breathing steady with the urge to cry. I was being stupid and I should have honestly just let it go by now. It's been four years. 

 

But it wasn't even the fact that Louis broke up with me or whatever childish reasons that people thought was depressing me. It was that I drove a dagger through the pit of my stomach and the love of my life walked away from me and didn't even care if I was breathing. He broke up with me, fine. My parents were divorcing, fine. My ex best friend died from being forced into the street to bully me, not fine. I was nearly killed and no one seemed to realize, that wasn't okay. It was playing in my mind twenty four seven and it never seemed to end. I wished I was better. I wished I was okay again. I just wasn't...

 

I made it down the stairs and out the apartment building, and headed towards the quad and class areas to search for the library. It was hot outside with a small breeze, and I was glad I was in the proper attire because a lot of guys were walking around, and I guessed my shorts were doing their justice. Not like that was the point of wearing them by all means. But sometimes it was nice to be assured that I was 'cute' or whatever and I wasn't some marshan who lived on another planet.

 

Anywho, I checked out some literature texts and books from my summer reading list, and as the sun started setting around six o'clock, I headed back to the dorm building so I could get dressed for dinner tonight with Hanna and her boyfriend. The quad was packed with faculty and students, and I was finding it extremely difficult to carry my heavy books through such a large crowd, and my claustrophobia kicked it's way through me. People were pushing and shoving the closer I got to my building and I was nearly knocked over. I felt like everyone was staring at me and watching me and telling me to breathe as I looked down and seen the blood soaking through my dress. I felt like I had thenight of Romeo and Juliet. Everything was closing in on me and before things went black, my books were knocked right out of my hands and I was shoved by a girl running past me to get to the office before it was night rules and everything shut down. I leaned down to pick up my scattered things and my bag that slipped from my shoulder when a stranger extended an arm out for me. It was gesturing help but I was drowned in the voice that I heard. The hand that I held so tight and never wanted to let go. The thick accent offering if I needed help up. The realization when we looked each other in the eyes that we weren't strangers at all. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach and I forgot everything on the ground. I swallowed hard and tears swelled in my eyes. He stood there, and everything seemed so quiet though everyone's mouths were moving and I was in a crowd in the middle of the whole campus. It took everything in my will to say his name out loud again rather than in my head.... "Louis?" 

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