Devoted Thoughts

Up until this year, I still haven't spoken a word. To ANYONE. My parents think it's an act of rebellion; they have no idea. They will NEVER understand. They don't know what happened that night and they never will. The only thing that saves me thoughts.


3. Devoted Thoughts - 3

Why would he want to be friends with someone like me? I'm nobody. And where does he get off saying that I'm the kind of person who needs a friend...okay fine, maybe I do. But I don't need his pity.

I walk down the deserted hallway, papers lying all over and backpack straps hanging out of jammed lockers, in search of the library. I find the doors and walk into the silent room. It was like being home; no sound, no noise, no...anything. But I guess that's my fault. I find an empty table in the back and sit down, looking around the room for something to keep my occupied until the bell rings. With no avail, I lay my head down on my arms and look down at the dark table. The seat next to me slides out and I hear someone sit down. There's a sound of paper and then I feel something sliding and poking at my arm. I look up and roll my eyes. Haiden Holloway. I sigh and look down at the notebook that was still poking my arm.

Haiden: I'm sorry. :/


Haiden: Please talk to me. I just want to be your friend.


Haiden: Okay, how about we just start as associates.

He looks at me pleadingly. I stare at him for a moment as he looks back at me with the same look.

Me: Fine.

Haiden: Yay! Now, I told you about me; tell me about you.

Me: There's nothing to tell.

Haiden: Everyone has something to say.

Me: Not me.

Haiden: Come on; you can trust me. Just start off by telling me your hobbies.

Why does he do this? I'm not a kid. Just because he tells me to do something, doesn't mean I have to do it. But something in his eyes makes me trust him. It makes me want to tell him what happened those years ago...but I can never tell him what happened. I don't want to trust him...because once I do I'll end up telling him everything.

Me: I guess I like to write.

Haiden: You guess or you know?

Me: I guess I know.

Haiden laughs.

Haiden: You guess you know?

Me: Yes. What's wrong with that?

Haiden: Can't you just know something?

Me: No.

Haiden laughs again.

Haiden: You're funny!


Haiden: It was a compliment.


Haiden: Seriosly? tell me your favorite color.

Me: Why?

Haiden: I want to know about you and you don't seem to open up about the big stuff so we'll start small.

Me: Blue.

Haiden: Really? Not many girls like Blue.

Me: Is that a bad thing?"

Haiden: No. I think it's cool.


Haiden: Yet again, another compliment.


Haiden: What's your favorite movie?

Me: The Goonies.

Haiden: Really!!! I thought I was the only one in the world that knew that movie.

Me: I guess you were wrong then.

Haiden: Well there you go guessing again.

He smiles.


Haiden: Have you seen Super 8?

Me: No.

Haiden: You should come over some time and watch it; it's amazing.


Haiden: Why-

He wasn't able to finish writing once again as the bell rang. Just three more classes and I'm out of here. Only two with Haiden. But I'm sure he'll find some way to finish the question he was about to ask.


I managed to get through sixth period without him asking me anymore questions. Gym class was out on the track today. I loved running. Usually I would put in my earbuds and listen to music the whole time. Other times I would just run without; I loved the piece and quiet. Just me and my thoughts.

I was mid-way through my first lap when I felt another person beside me. I look over to see Haiden. Why can't he just leave me alone for one class period. I seriously don't understand what he wants with me. I DON'T NEED FRIENDS. I just need silence and my thoughts. I'll survive.

"Hi." He says. I don't respond. "I didn't bring my notebook so you might just have to talk." He smiles. I continue to look at him annoyed. "Or not." I roll my eyes. "I'll just tell you more about me." He smiles once again. "My dad is a forensic scientist and my mom works as a bakery cook. I have one sister and she is turning 22 in May. Do you like cats?" I write out the word 'No' in the air. He chuckles. "Good, because I hate cats." I want to smile, but I won't let this cheeky kid break me. "Do you like dogs?" I write out the word 'Yes' in the air. "I have a dog. His name is Buddy." Now I really want to smile. No, no. I can't do it. I have always wanted a Beagle named Buddy.

The whistle blew as I made my way back from my sixth lap. A mile and a half. Thank goodness gym class was over; now the weekend was beginning.

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