Dark Chocolates

''You're just like a dark chocolate, because deep inside your bitter-self, you are sweet."

A tragic, Mother's Day-special story.

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1. Dark Chocolates

© 2013 Property of Jinx Magnet
All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of Jinx Magnet.

 

 

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"Life is like dark chocolates. It's bittersweet." - a quote made by my friend.

 

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Staring at the hospital bed in front of her was all that Rosana Evans could do at the moment. If there was one thing she desperately wanted to do, it will be to turn back the time and change the fate which was bestowed upon Rosalie Evans, her unfortunate daughter. She felt numb, exhausted and tired, but crying over her daughter wasn't an option. She was a strong woman for Pete's sake. But looking at her daughter's cold, unmoving body gave her the chills. She never really liked the idea of having to look at corpses, but today was an exception. Rosalie Evans...is dead. 

 

"Time of death, 3:40 AM." she barely heard one of the doctors say. She was too focused on her sleeping daughter, lying peacefully on the uncomfortable mattress of the bed. Maybe it was the mattress' fault that her daughter died for it never gave her the comfy feeling she had always wanted? Or maybe the doctors or the nurses were to blame for her sudden death because they weren't attentive enough to her needs? Or maybe...it was simply her fault. Maybe, she really was to blame because where was she when her daughter celebrated her birthdays? Where was she when her daughter needed a parent on school events? And where was she when her daughter needed her the most? 

 

"--am? Ma'am!"  She turned to her left, only to see a nurse smiling sympathetically at her. She never wanted anyone looking at her with pity, yet she couldn't and didn't have the urge to hiss at someone today. She was dead tired, and it seems like it'll take her forever to recover from this painful event.

 

"We need to transfer her to the morgue room." the nurse continued. She found herself nodding at what the nurse said for she haven't got any strength left to utter a single word. As if on cue, the nurse carefully placed the white blanket over her daughter's face, completely blocking her sight from her. She watched the nurses' retreating figure as they pushed the bed out of the hospital room. She stood there, unable to move, when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. It was then that she realized, she wasn't alone at the room after all.

 

"R-Rosie?" she barely said, not minding if she really uttered something or not. Her eyes must be playing tricks on her. Or maybe she was daydreaming. Yeah, that must be it. She stared at the girl in front of her, fighting the urge not to blink for she was afraid that the figure in front of her might disappear. The figure smiled warmly at her, and the next thing she knew, it vanished into thin air. 

 

"Ma'am?" she gazed at the owner of the voice and saw the nurse who talked to her earlier. 

 

"I believe this is yours." she dropped her gaze at the nurse's hand, and in it was an envelope. Bewildered, she took it without hesitations and turned her back on the nurse. 

 

'To Mommy' she read aloud her daughter's almost unrecognizable, messy, handwriting. With shaky hands, she opened the envelope in haste. 

 

Dear Mommy,

          Hello. Uh, I'm not sure if you're reading this or if you'll be able to. And with that, I'm sorry. I really don't know how to start writing a letter but my teacher once told me that I should just write what I want to say. And I just want  to tell you that I love you so much Mom. I'm not mad at you that you weren't able to celebrate my birthdays with me, or that you weren't there during Parent's Day at school, because grandma is always with me. She told me how busy and dedicated you are with work so I understand. I understand completely. I really do.

        But Mom, I wish you were really busy with work. I wish that's the only reason why you can't see me, why you can't visit me. But, I can't pretend that everything's alright Mom. I can't even remember the last time you talked to me. Did you ever hug me? Told me bedtime stories before I went to bed and kissed me goodnight? I can't remember, but then again, maybe you really didn't. And mom, don't you love me? Does it hurt you so much to look at me even for just a second? Or is it because of Daddy?

          I remember asking you when I was a kid about my Dad, but you will just explode and scream at me and I don't even know why. Now I do. One night, I woke up and felt thirsty so I decided to go to the kitchen. I was walking down the hallway and passed by grandma's bedroom when I overheard you talking with her. I was so happy because finally, you went home, but then I heard you telling grandma in a high-pitched voice that you didn't want to see me because I look so much like my Dad. And looking at me will only bring back the memories you so badly wanted to get rid of. You were...raped. And then...you had me. It shocked the hell out of me to know the whole truth that night. So that was the reason why you didn't want to see me. So that was the reason why you kept yourself away from me. So that was the reason why you were so hostile.

          I ran away to my room that night, pretended to be asleep when grandma checked up on me. I wanted to be mad at you Mom. I wanted to hate you. What my Dad did wasn't my fault but why are you making me feel miserable? You're unfair, Mom. I'm not him, but why do I feel like you're blaming me for what he did? But I guess I love you too much that I couldn't bring myself to hate you as much as you hate Dad. And you know what Mom, Reena, my best friend, told me how envious she was of me because I have you. I have a mom, while she doesn't. I guess I really am still lucky that I have you, Mom, despite all the circumstances we're both in.

          Oh yeah, do you know that dark chocolates are my favourite? Hmm, I guess you don't. Well, do you want to know why? It's because they remind me of you. It's bitter, but sweet at the same time. It only needs time for its bitterness to turn sweet. And I'm hoping that one day, you'll love me, as much as I love you, because deep inside your bitter-self, you are sweet. I know you are. I love you Mom. Take care of yourself always because I won't be around to do that. Happy Mother's Day.

With love,

Rosie

 

It was funny how her tears started cascading down her face after reading her daughter's letter. It was as if she hadn't cried in such a long time and she was letting it all out now. 

 

"Oh, Rosie. My baby." she cried hard and loud to her heart's content.

 

"Oh dear. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she said to no one in particular while hugging the letter like her life depended on it. If there was one thing she desperately wanted to do, it will be to turn back the time, change the fate which was bestowed upon Rosalie Evans, and tell her honestly that she loved her, too, just as much as Rosie loved her.

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end
30-Apr-2013 

Note: Again, this story was first posted in Wattpad soo...yeah. :D

 

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