First Love

~I'll always be yours even when you don't want me~

This fan fiction is of the one and only childish man; T.O.P. let me deeply apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes that I make. One of my first times that I'm writing one and yeah, I know that it sucks so please give me your feedback and rebuke me because that is the only way that I will learn how to write. Feel free to scrutinize it, because this storyline came to me in the form of a dream…..yep, my dreams are very weird ^o^ Big thanks to my friends who encouraged me to go all the way; so yeah, thank you and although its not the best, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.


6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

TOP jerked to a stop, forcing Yunhee to do the same beside him. He peered around the corner and at the sound of footsteps approaching closer he turned back to her and as softly as he could, he tug on the warm hand that he held onto, so that she came to the cold wall beside him. He was met with an expression of curiosity; her head tilted and angled presenting a questioning look like an adorable puppy as he put a finger to his lips. He glanced around the corner again in an attempt to stifle his laughter, his mind overworking itself with the images of her.

He inhaled deeply, stiffening, tensing every muscle in his body as he felt her chest graze softly against his, and within an instant she was back by his side; TOP exhaled, his chest sore from the hammering of his heart. The heavenly sensation coursed through him and he struggled to keep his mind straight, she tormented him innocently, so much so that he felt almost paedophilic having such thoughts of her.

Moments past, after his breathing had returned to normal, the hallways had cleared and it no longer felt that he was to combust from the inside out, he braved a look at her and what he saw took him aback, for her eyes were shadowed with vulnerability. Hesitantly he brushed his warm fingertips across her forehead; the blazing heat that he was met with singed him, as he helplessly attempted to push her damp hair aside. There was desire planted in his shining eyes as he leant down to whisper his concerns and worry, he leant back and waited but nothing was said, her head shook dismissingly and he knew that she was having a hard time. What she was having a hard time about? He didn’t know, she wasn’t willing to tell him and that hurt him all the more. He knew that, that was the cue to shut the lid on the subject yet he foolishly remained hopeful.

TOP waited patiently to hear her voice only to be met with silence. He had come to see yet another side of her, under her bubbly and glowing exterior she held more hardship and grief than she let on. Deep within she was soft- hearted and gentle.

He remembered her small smiles and wondered why she never smiled completely, how hadn’t he noticed before? Her small smile was something that he wished to see again, the first time that he saw it, it had struck at his heart strings like a plectrum; he was to be damned if he ever got to see her smile completely, from the heart. He could only imagine of what it would do to him, then again that was something he didn’t want to see, it’d shove him unquestioningly, drag him further down the eternal abyss that love was.

Love. Love was a daunting sinister pit, an infinite chasm in which he lost all his senses. He had fallen in previously and it had chained him there to be devoured by the darkness, eating his heart away when the woman he had loved had left him. Desperate he had thrashed at his shackles, frantic to escape the desolate woe that was left of him. He had escaped and had vowed to never return again, he was broken and so he lived his remaining life in a way that would divert the pain from him to others. He had disgracefully done so to countless women, he had seen their bodies and hungered after lust just as they did with him. It was a mutual and artificial contract, sex and only sex no feeling or emotions attached. Yet they all fell, one after the other and soon it expired. They were as shallow as he was, lusting after beauty, after pleasure.

He was sickening and despicable, he knew that much and prayed that his beautiful and caring Yunhee wouldn’t fall for him, wouldn’t sacrifice or risk any chance that she had of a normal life to be with him. Even if it crushed his living soul, she was the light that brought him out of the darkness and he wanted wholeheartedly to protect that light, that glowing aura.

As they pressed on, his thoughts became disarranged, he had never thought much of people holding hands, of holding hands with someone yet he had come to realise how wrong he had been to dismiss the thought. The close proximity, the places where their skin touched felt exhilarating.

They made their way down the hallway and TOP couldn’t diminish the warm pleasure he felt as he held her hand. Suddenly that was gone, the air felt bitter as it flowed through his now empty hand. He turned to find that she held her elbow loosely in comfort raising her head to ask a question. ‘TOP-sshi, where are the store rooms? Could we go there first…please?’ it was her audaciousness that made his heart clench as he took her figure in; he wanted nothing more than to take her hand again and so for the first time he let his instincts guide him.  Leisurely he reached for her hand, he held onto it like there was no tomorrow and squeezed tenderly in approval, knowing something was wrong he wanted to provide her with some comfort even if it was diminutive in scale. Whatever it was, it was an immeasurable burden upon her small shoulders that she was carrying by herself.

He led her along, glancing back every now and again, his eyes smiled in encouragement as he opened the door and flicked on the light. She seemed so lonely in the light even though he felt her with him, it was almost as though that she was in an entirely different world of her own, and that she was unaware of the people and things surrounding her. She seemed…Secluded.

 He looked on ahead with wonder, why would she want to go to the store room, out of all places the store room?  As he scanned the small room he found nothing of utter importance, upon watching her gather the cloths, mops and buckets it all made sense. He helped her with gathering the essentials that she needed and he hoped that she would look up at him, even peek at him when their fingers touched. To his disappointment, she didn’t.

The mop banged his side as he struggled along to the dance room, or what was left of it, it had been temporarily converted to a shallow lake. As he placed the equipment down she was already tying up her dark locks and she immersed herself deep in her work.

 TOP was left lingering behind in the distance as she swept with speed and accuracy; she was a hard worker and gave her absolute all in everything; it was evident in the way that she worked.  Satisfied with her condition, he set to work himself, looking up every now and then only to see her working with complete determination to clean the room.

Three agonising hours later, the two slumped to the floor in exhaustion panting heavily.

TOP once again stared at her, she was hot, and her intoxicating scent of honey and peaches lingered in the air as he sat up to take in more. Her rosy cheeks were flushed, and he covered his face with his hand in an attempt to hide the blush that he felt erupting up his cheeks. TOP took in her wet form, her clothes revealed every curve of her body as they stuck to her sides and felt a tent form in his pants, and he gazed at the small bead of sweat that switched lanes as it travelled down her collarbone, from her small shiver. In an attempt to hide his sudden solid form, he crossed his legs slowly trying to relieve the pain, before he excused himself and left to get a drink. What he had missed was the little piece of paper that she fiddled with in her hands, repeatedly folding and unfolding it. His thoughts were just about her, she was engraved in his head and he cursed at her repeatedly in frustration, as he bent down to take the icy bottles of water from the vending machine; he hoped that by the time he returned, his tent would have collapsed.

As he returned, a bottle in each hand he heard footsteps from the hall making their way towards him which meant they were travelling towards the dance room, towards Yunhee. Clack….clack….clack…clack ….Dread flowed through him so he did what he could, he ran towards the doors and pulled them open. He dropped the bottles of water that he had in his arms and wrapped his hand around Yunhee’s wrist before dragging her to the closest closet. He slammed the door and panted heavily, he looked up at a bewildered and curious face, she reached to steady him and his breathing quickened as he felt her fingers touch his shoulders and her other hand that was placed flat on his rising chest. He looked down upon her worried eyes and smiled reassuringly.

She nodded and stepped closer to the door her hand on the handle, ready to open it. TOP pressed his body against hers, obstructing her so that she was no longer able to move. Her hand dropped from the handle, TOP wanted to wrap his arms around her and bring her closer still; instead he leant in lowering his head in the nape of her neck and breathed slowly calming himself to return to his normal state. He heard her gasp as his warm breath tickled her, he smirked and whispered ‘Yunhee-ah what were you trying to do?’ he felt her clear her throat ‘I was going to get you a drink, you left the bottles out there.’ He was so close to her right now that he was finding it difficult to think straight, his thoughts were in disarray. She was turning him on and he wished to ravish her whole, here and now but he held back. His lips could easily graze her shoulder, her collar, her neck and make their way to her lips. He wanted to desperately but once again he endured and held back.

He placed his ear against the door beside her so that he was now breathing on her cheeks. She held motionless and TOP focused on what were nothing but muffling sounds from the outside. He caught on only snippets, it seemed the cleaner had arrived to find the dance room sparkling clean and was now having a conversation with another person. The voices between the two were distinctly different; the cleaner was older, much older. The other sounded younger, male. He was sure of it.

TOP breathed a sigh of relief, and smirked when he saw Yunhee twitch as he heard the outside door close. If there was to be a younger male to come to the dance room after the water war, there was only one, the only one that watched him as he took Yunhee by the arm; the maknae.

He dropped his arms that were a barrier to her body and cautiously opened the door. They were met with nothing but darkness, they strained their eyes to find their way waiting and blinking furiously for their eyes to adjust. His hand wandered awkwardly behind him as he reached out to find her hand, clasping her fingers when he did. They drifted around, the floorboards squeaked beneath them as they made their way towards the door.  Releasing her hands he felt the door in front of him and slid his fingers around the handle, he pushed down and pushed. The door’s vibration resounded through the room but it stood closed. They were locked in….together.

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