First Love

~I'll always be yours even when you don't want me~

This fan fiction is of the one and only childish man; T.O.P. let me deeply apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes that I make. One of my first times that I'm writing one and yeah, I know that it sucks so please give me your feedback and rebuke me because that is the only way that I will learn how to write. Feel free to scrutinize it, because this storyline came to me in the form of a dream…..yep, my dreams are very weird ^o^ Big thanks to my friends who encouraged me to go all the way; so yeah, thank you and although its not the best, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.


2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Her hair fell as she brought her head down; she focused her gaze on what seemed to be a photo. The glossy waves obscured his view of her face and it irritated him, his fingers twitched with the thought of lifting her chin up and moving it all so that he would be able to clearly admire her. Captured by her presence his mind drifted to random thoughts; the texture of her hair, how would it feel in his palms? Her fair skin, how would it feel to hold her in his arms? To embrace her? Her soft touch, her voice what would it be like? He cursed himself mentally, what was he thinking? To have such erotic thoughts after setting his eyes upon a stranger, a stunning woman, but a stranger nonetheless was absurd and somewhat perverted.

His thoughts were disrupted and his head pulled back instinctively from the small hand that waved violently in front of his face. He regretfully tore his gaze away from her and blinked his way back to his senses. ‘Hellooo? Are you alright?’ the petite girl questioned him, the concern could be heard in her voice, and he shifted and turned to meet her. From his posture, he was standing in a way that a passerby would think that he was deeply engrossed in the conversation, in a way that would seem like she had all of his attention. Having positioned himself in such a way, his eyes were almost always in their corners, glancing and keeping a watchful eye on the girl that he had come to admire.  ‘ You must be tired; you're probably always followed by people TOP oppa ,right?’ confused and not entirely focused, he glanced in her direction as the sudden sound of his stage name caused her head to jerk up and he turned to face her. Their eyes met and the blazing intensity was dowsed as her eyes drifted to her friends, an accusing look of disbelief clouded them. ‘TOP? As in….the rapper TOP?’ they just shrugged and smirked, the shortest and the youngest of the three talked the most as the tallest was silent throughout their brief meeting. 'well, it's not our fault that you never research or look into the people, we even told you to look, but you didn't want to know.’ She turned to face him ‘Sorry oppa, she listens to your songs and raps quite a lot but she never bothers to go beyond that, like watch the music videos or interviews.’ The young girl was cute in his eyes but too talkative for his taste; that, and her remarks irritated him. The tallest rolled her eyes which provided him comfort, it made him feel slightly better that this happened all the time and was somehow the norm for them.

His attention was purely captured by her as she perked her lips up into a slight smile and nodded her head, slightly embarrassed; her fingertips hovering over her hair and at the side of her head. She hesitantly shifted her weight from one foot to the other, lifting her gaze so that her eyes met with his. He couldn’t help but smile at her nervousness as she cleared her throat ‘Sorry, I didn’t realise, I don’t really pay attention to these sorts of things but I think that you have a very beautiful voice TOP-sshi.’ Although her voice was soft and gentle, her eyes blazed with audacity that had him dazed,  she spoke with her eyes, her feelings were relayed to others by her eyes, he felt a warmth spreading within him as it felt somewhat familiar; that voice, where had he heard it before? ‘Thank you’ he pondered in thought as he tried to recollect his memory, moments later whilst feeling frustrated and slightly annoyed with the little to no luck that he had, he drifted again, wondering what it would sound like, hearing the word ‘oppa’ from her small perfect mouth.

Come to think of it, it was his first time that a female had commented on his voice rather than his looks, and the first time a girl so young had addressed him so politely, using the honorific ‘-sshi’ and not gone all out and called him ‘oppa’. The more he thought about it the more frustrated he got, endless questions formulated in his head; how old was she? What did she think about him? Who was her favourite member? Did she find him attractive? He was baffled as to why such useless questions had entered his mind when the more important ones were surely; who was she? And what was her name?

He pushed his somewhat bewildering thoughts to the back of his head and focused on trying to figure out what she was thinking, the easiest way would be to look into her eyes which was a simple enough approach except that her eyes weren’t meeting his, but were instead once again focused on the small rectangular paper in her hands, which he couldn’t help but assume was a photo. Of whom? He didn’t know, and the curiosity was a flame in his eyes.

Fixed and unwavering he watched as her eyebrows creased slightly, unexpectedly lifting her head up to look at him once more, the photo wavering in the air towards her side, as her eyes flicked from side to side, between him and the photo. She presented a sudden small smile and shaked her head in disapproval. He stared at her in wonder, extremely intrigued with her reaction.

Before he could question her actions, a familiar tune resounded through the wide halls and he found himself getting distracted, this song…act like nothing’s wrong, did this mean that he was her favourite member out of Big Bang? A warm fluttering feeling erupted in his stomach and he cleared his throat to keep a lid on his sudden happiness.  By the time that she had finished her inaudible conversation he had once again returned to reality and had put his feelings in check. Throughout this brief meeting, the petite girl had talked all the way through, keeping the atmosphere lively for which he was thankful. Taking notice of such little matters, he did not come to realise that she had spoken to the others. As they bowed and left, he cursed himself; how had he gone through such hardship, met the girl of his dreams and then not got something as simple as her name? He leant against the closest wall and sighed, not even her name, he didn’t even know her name. How pathetic. If the maknae found out about this, he was screwed. Could the day get any worse? Shaking his head slightly before sighing deeply once more, he picked himself off the wall and trudging, made his way back to the dorm. Ruffling his hair and cursing under his breath every now and then, when she crossed his mind.

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