Adopted Lover (Calum Hood)

Can Calum seeing someone in the park cold go from something as simple as that to adopting her and falling in love?


18. Why?

Luke p.o.v

I began to read really nervous of what I might read.

Age 8.

Hi think is my new journal my name is Abriana my parents died in front of my eyes with my twin brother and sister earlier this year and I have been living with my grandmother but she says I would be better to be adopted. I miss my parents a lot by the new house I leave at is pretty okay. It is really big and I have nice parents they say call them mother and father only though. I have a new brother he is a year and a half older than me he is really smart but quiet too.

Well she use to have a ok life at the house. I skipped a few pages to see Age 10

Age 10.

I have no idea what I did today but I was beat again. Also they brought a little girl named Kila the other day she is so young and beautiful they beat her too. Carlo and I tell them to beat us and not her. I and Carlo would never want to see her hurt. But anyways today Mother burnt me with her cigarettes on my back and my legs. She poured her whole bottle of vodka over me and pushed me to the groud and kicked me in my legs and stomach. Father cut me again but on my back this time last time it was on my upper arms. I wonder what they plan for tomorrow everyday is usually different I seen father carry in rock after he was done with me. I guess those are for me and Carlo because if they touch Kila one more time I will kill them I swear to god. Maybe I should die. I would be with my real mum and dad then.

I didn't even realize I began to cry. I really wanted to stop reading but at the same time I didn't and if we can get the kids out I need to know the pages she talks about abuse. I again skipped to Age 13 I feel like the abuse has got more often as she grew up.

Age 13.

I left school the other day. Mother got fired I think maybe she quit I'm not sure. I sure will miss Jasmine and Haley they were my only friends. Everyone else picked on me for not having any clothes and have bruises and scars and burns everywhere. Something big happened today. I stole Fathers knife and sliced my wrist open myself. Maybe I shouldn't be proud of it my mum and dad always said to love yourself and tell a adult if I was having problems I'm not allowed to talk to Mother or Father unless they ask me if I got them cigarettes and beer. I deserve this. I am ugly, I am unsmart, I don't need to live like Father says when he hits me. I really shouldn't do the things I do like sneak out or steal food but they don't let me out of the house and never feed me. They say I am unsmart and don't need school but I still force Carlo to teach me. I wish my mum dad and little siblings were still here. I love them and miss them so much.Maybe if I kill myself I will be with them after all.

I began to cry even more I can't believe she would dare harm herself. Abriana doesn't understand how beautiful and smart she is. If I was kept in the house except for going to school I would sneak out and get people to teach me too. This hurts me than ever. I can't stand the thought of her going through self harm with no help at all. I wonder if she still self harms. I never really thought to look at her wrists and it is a little cool so she wears long sleeves. Maybe I should read at Age 16 I went to the last page she wrote before Calum found her.

Age 16.

I have stayed in this park 2 days now and no one has bothered to talk or help me. No one notices me. I am use to it it's fine really. I can't believe it has been 3 years since my first cut on my wrist. I thought I would end up stopping but I haven't the scars are on my stomach wrists and legs now. I realize they make me even more ugly but I don't care. I know I am not making my mum proud and I'm sorry mum if I could stop I would but I never will.

I can't believe this honestly she has harmed herself for 3 years. Maybe she has stopped now that she has us. I must be honest I have harmed my self before. The fans have been a picture of me holding my guitar with my bracelets not covering my cuts. I never told them but I realize it is addicting. Of course I have stopped but it wasn't easy. Why hasn't she told us. I went to the last page of her journal she wrote on to see if she has said anything about it. I skipped down to her because a lot of it was about the guys and Calum.

Age 16.

Tomorrow is my birthday I am quit excited if I must say. The guys make it more special . I can't believe I am awake at 3 am just writing. I am kinda stuck stuck under Calums arm to I can only move one hand. Trust me I have tried to stop self harm I swear I have but it is addictive. I did something I hope no one finds out about. Yesterday night I stole one of Mrs.Hoods knives cut myself in the washroom and few times and went back to bed I didn't think about it I did nothing but cry. I am disappointing my mum so much I am so sorry mum I love you. Maybe I should tell one of the guys or Calum. No they would think I am crazy. I just hid the knife in my washroom under the sink and hope no one finds it or Mrs.Hood doesn't look for it.

I instantly started pouring tears well inside I did outside I didn't. I feel so much pain it is so weird. I don't think I have ever felt so upset as I do now. Inside I was crying outside I was shocked I can't imagine Abriana and self harm. They just don't go together she is so happy and laughs so much and smiles at everything. I had such a shock rush that I rushed in full speed upstairs with her journal to Abrianas room.

"Where is Abriana"I asked Calum who was in bed with Rosey and his phone

"Uhm in her bathroom fixing her hair she is acting kinda weird why wait when did you even get here"Calum asked worried

"Just stay out here I have to talk to her ok"I said rushing into her bathroom

"Oh Luke you ok"Abriana asked with a puffy face

She has been crying.

"Am I ok Abriana I should be asking you if you are"I said

"What do you mean I'm fine"Abriana said

Abriana p.o.v

I had a pretty good idea of what was about to happen but I tried to hide it. I guess he has read about my self harm issues. Luke just starting going through the shelves under the sink and at first I didn't understand why but then I I remembered my knife was there before I could stop him.

"If you are fine why do you need this and why is there day out blood on it"Luke asked with teary eyes

"I'm sorry ok but I can't stop I deserve it I always when behind Mother and Fathers word I deserve it I am basically a devil child no wonder they beat me"I said mostly yelling

"Abriana don't you understand you are batter than this"Luke said crying

"No I'm not Luke cutting is like a drug and I'm addicted I can't stop"I said yelling and crying

Luke grabbed my wrists which hurt from the new cuts from yesterday raised my sleeves and kept asking the same question.

"Why Abriana why why why why would you do this why didn't you tell me why didn't you just speak up why"Luke said with his tears sliding down his face and hitting my arms

He then pulled me into a tight hug. I cried loudly on his black shirt making it damp. I heard someone come in but didn't bother to look before feeling Calums hot wet face on my back. I held on tight to Luke before moving one arm to bring Calum in and wrapping my arms around both of their necks. Soon the hug was over when Luke said we need to talk about it.

"Why would you start cutting yourself you where already beat everyday of your life"Luke asked

"It's hard to explain"I said

"Well try to try to explain babe"Calum said wiping away my remaining tears

"I have been told for so many years I should die and I am not smart I am ugly I am fat I am worthless I deserve everything that happened to me that I need to kill myself if I keep complaining about being sore after a beating and so I starte have suicidal thought at like 9 or 10 that's when I started to want to die at like 11 or 12 I started sneaking out to find food and sneaking to the kitchen to eat scraps of whatever mother and father ate and didn't feed us at all I would bring it bag to my brothers and sisters too and never tell them where I got it at 13 father got a long pocket knife for us of course you know to cut us but it was to tempting and it took it"I paused tearing up again

"Just breathe ok it's going to be ok I love you so much so so so much"Calum said as I put my head on his chest

Soon I regained ability to talk and finished.

"So I took the knife and father kept yelling where his new knife was and they assumed me of course because Carlo wasn't home he was at school and after I was beat for taking the knife I took my first slice at my wrist and I felt like this was what I would say is alive I could feel something I was numb to being beat that it hardly hurt like it use to and this was nothing compared to a beating but I felt like I deserved it so I cut so many times on both wrists until I didn't have anymore room basically and then I moved to my stomach about a year later and my little sister Kila asked where my scars are from I told her father and mother did it and to this day I still tell her mother and father did it"I said still teary eyed but holding back tears

"So that's why"Luke said

It was silent for a minute while I got hugs from both of them until Luke spoke up

"Listen not a lot of people know I haven't told the fans either I would rather not but they kind of figured out it for themselves I once cut too I stopped for the fans before so many were saying they stopped cutting because of us and we saved their lives and so many thing and I don't know if Ashton is ok but he also cut once and stopped for the same reason I did and listen we as in Calum and I need you to stop for us ok I know it is hard I know it is a addiction but I believe you can we both do ok"Luke said looking down at me into my eyes

"Ok I will try"I said

"Now I want you to go back behind my house and throw the knife in the river"Calum said

"Ok but can the whole family come"I asked

"Uhm family"Calum asked

"Yeah here is how I see it Carlo is my brother Luke is like your brother Rosey is like our child and we are dating so Luke and Carlo are like the uncles to our child"I explained

"Ok"Calum said

We woke Carlo up and just told him to come with us as Calum held Rosey and I threw the blade in the river.

"I knida always thought you cut by the way because mother and father never cut my wrist as you said they did yours"Carlo said

"Well that's all over now and its time to start fresh"I said getting a group hug form everyone




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